Page 1 of 2 [ 18 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

DevilKisses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,067
Location: Canada

27 Nov 2015, 11:36 am

I think it would be a good idea to write a list of tv shows, music, books, current events, movies and other stuff that NTs love to talk about. It would also be good to include cliffnotes for tv shows or movies for people who don't want to watch them. Just post your ideas here.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

27 Nov 2015, 11:47 am

NT's like to talk about many, many things.

I guess having a "cheat sheet" might be useful--but make sure nobody sees it!

Most NT's respect variation from the "usual themes." If they don't, they're not worth talking to.



DevilKisses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,067
Location: Canada

27 Nov 2015, 4:19 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
NT's like to talk about many, many things.

I guess having a "cheat sheet" might be useful--but make sure nobody sees it!

Most NT's respect variation from the "usual themes." If they don't, they're not worth talking to.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical


0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,038
Location: London

28 Nov 2015, 6:05 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Most NT's respect variation from the "usual themes." If they don't, they're not worth talking to.


Actually you will be surprised how often people ask the same thing they already know the answer to.

Small talk is about warming up the brain. it is transitional.



0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,038
Location: London

28 Nov 2015, 6:07 am

I think it would be easier, rather than trying to imitate is to keep it topical. Just don't start with the heaviest topic first, unless you are feeling confident.



SocOfAutism
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Mar 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,078

29 Nov 2015, 9:48 am

This is a great idea! Lol, Kraftie! I would love it if I found a card with such scripts left on a park bench somewhere!

I know an aspie who does something like this. He's a cashier and I've been at the back of his line before so I picked up on his pattern. He'd repeat at every third person. He got a great reception and I think "passed" to most people.

I'll start!

Shows and books: "Do you watch that show Game of Thrones? I was thinking of starting the books, but I didn't know if they were the same as the show. They're so long..."

(if they take the bait you could say) "Who is your favorite character?" (that should get them going for awhile)

If you want to get spicy you could bring up politics: "Who is Bernie Sanders? I see signs for him but I don't know who he is or what he stands for. What do you think of him?" (this may get the person going for awhile, depending on what kind of person they are. If asked what your stance is, say, "Man, I don't even know...")



smudge
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Sep 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,716
Location: Moved on

29 Nov 2015, 11:42 am

This is how old people talk in England:

Image


_________________
I've left WP.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

29 Nov 2015, 6:19 pm

I wouldn't be able to distinguish a Game of Thrones from a baseball game lol....

I guess one should keep up, at least somewhat, on current events/pop cultural things.

But a cheat-sheet? Bad idea, especially if you have to constantly refer to it.



Varelse
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 5 Sep 2015
Age: 61
Posts: 368

29 Nov 2015, 7:12 pm

I substitute the burden of actually knowing about any of those things (popular culture, sports, etc) by asking them a lot of leading/open ended questions about whatever they want to talk about. I've learned quite a bit about people's interests, opinions, families, personal lives and politics over the years without having to invest in knowing much of anything about pop culture, current news, or other 'small talk worthy' themes.

And, I find they usually walk away happy.

Just don't get me started about the weather, since it was a special interest (along with climate science) and I just cannot help myself. *sigh*



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

29 Nov 2015, 9:30 pm

I have a lifelong obsession with the weather, too.

That plan works, especially, if one knows the proper questions to ask....and the recipient has enough patience to answer the questions. This patience is more common the older one gets.



C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

29 Nov 2015, 10:01 pm

I hate small talk - because apparently you have to think about what impression your small-talking is going to give about you to another person. If your cheat sheet involves a lot of pop culture references and TV/movie content, the other person could come to the conclusion you're air headed and spend all your time just watching TV instead of doing anything worthwhile. It wildly depends on who you're talking to and in what context. It's a minefield.
Plus I don't know about you but most small-talk topics bore me and I don't want to talk about that. I've generally been relying on most people's love of talking about themselves. This serves many purposes - 1) you can find out what this person is like more quickly and that may avoid getting into social situations with them you won't like, deciding on whether or not you want to be associated with them etc, 2) it stops them asking me personal questions which I dislike 3) you may even stumble across an interesting subject you don't know much about if asking them about their interests or job or whatever, especially if you encourage them to keep talking and tell you all about it.
A cheat sheet is a good idea, but maybe not quite flexible enough. A formula, maybe?


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


Pineapplejuicex
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 19 Nov 2015
Age: 42
Posts: 72

29 Nov 2015, 10:17 pm

You'd be better off chatting about stuff that actually interests you. There are plenty of movies, shows, teams, events, etc. without resorting to lies or cheat sheets.



DevilKisses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,067
Location: Canada

30 Nov 2015, 2:36 pm

Pineapplejuicex wrote:
You'd be better off chatting about stuff that actually interests you. There are plenty of movies, shows, teams, events, etc. without resorting to lies or cheat sheets.

This is meant for when you're stuck in conversation. It would be something you use with discretion. You obviously won't say a million pop culture references. You'll just throw them in with a question to make it seem less like an interview.

The cheat sheet can also ask questions that are less general and more specific to the topic. That will make the other person feel like you're actually listening. An example would be the France terrorist attack. Instead of asking a dry question like "what do you think?" you could say "I wonder if they'll attack Quebec."


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical


DevilKisses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,067
Location: Canada

30 Nov 2015, 3:14 pm

I just created a wiki http://small-talk-cheat-code.wikia.com/. It's still very new, but I will be working on it.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Nov 2015, 3:26 pm

I would venture to guess that, within a year, at least some of these will be obsolete. You'd be told: "That is so 2015!"

There's not much staying power with items of Pop Culture.

People have such short attention spans. Fads last, at most, months. Never years these days.

It's better to just wing it. And be an individual.

(Unless you mean the "cheat sheet" as something satirical--then it's not bad).



DevilKisses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,067
Location: Canada

30 Nov 2015, 3:56 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I would venture to guess that, within a year, at least some of these will be obsolete. You'd be told: "That is so 2015!"

There's not much staying power with items of Pop Culture.

People have such short attention spans. Fads last, at most, months. Never years these days.

It's better to just wing it. And be an individual.

(Unless you mean the "cheat sheet" as something satirical--then it's not bad).

It's a wiki. It can be updated easily. It will also have more timeless info than news or pop culture.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical