How.does one raise an arm out to help others?

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I feel what others around me are going through quite acutely. I feel the need to make myself useful. I have been making myself useful in many behind the scenes ways that most people will never know about, but there is another issue. I feel like I am damaged goods, that God made me broken. I fear that most of the people in my life would not want me to give them a helping hand. I fear that most of the people in my life look upon me as a tragic charity case.

I feel the drive to become a solid rock for those that need one in my life. The thing is, I do not want to come off as creepy and/or patronizing. I do not want to further reenforce the prejudice that many hold against me. Furthermore, I do not want to reenforce my insecurities about myself as a man and a human being, and as long as the insecurities play an issue, everything else is going to be vastly exaggerated through my emotional filters.

I feel like I have taken and that I have to give back to the world around me, to prove to them and to myself that their investment in me was not a waste of time and effort.

I wonder how much sense I am making here.

I often felt the same way, too. I think most people don't actually like themselves that much and feel threatened by a lot of things...

A surprising number of people struggle with things that aren't above and beyond an Aspie's ability to help, like being lonely, not knowing how to work their computer, needing advice in a particular field, needing another perspective, or needing someone on the job who can just show up and be a decent human being. A lot of the world's problems aren't rocket science, they're just numerous and hard for individuals to resolve because it's so personal to them or because there's greed, dishonesty, or selfishness involved.

I have a couple of rules for helping people.

1. Ask first. "Can I give you a hand?" Or "Would you like feedback or do you just need someone to listen?"
2. Sometimes I offer my assistance. I don't repeatedly offer help if someone says no.

The idea is to let people know I care and want to help, but not to make them feel pressured.

^ How well do these rules work?

It works for me because I am clear about what is my responsibility and what is the other person's responsibility. For other people, I don't know. It depends on what the other person prefers. I hate when people offer me unsolicited advice and help I don't need or want. That's why I don't do it to others. I don't want to rob someone of their autonomy or dignity.

Others might appreciate someone aggressively stepping in and trying to help them. Those people might perceive me as cold and uncaring. That's okay. I know I will not be able to help everybody.

I need to mention that I make a living helping people and I do client-centered care. It is a clinical approach that works well for me with most clients but not all.