what is wrong with society........

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why is it considered creepy to have the desire to be included? why is it creepy to want to be emotionally supported and cared about? why is it creepy to want attention ( the kind of attention where people notice that your feeling bad and they support you)? why are guys that show emotion/need emotional support seen as weak (its not just girls that have problems... and not everyone can just wipe away there feelings and not care about what everyone else thinks) why does society think that people with mental illness are faking it? why does society think that people that self harm just want attention?. nowadays you cant even talk to some one without being judged, you cant try and become friends with people without feeling like you'll be seen as awkward/weird. people form their groups and then they ignore anyone else that wants to be included, or worse still, they go around bullying and discriminating against people. why are people that Need others to support,care about and help them enjoy life ignored (especially guys). have you ever noticed that there have been very few,if any female school shooters?. I believe that there are more male school-shooters/violent criminals who are male for a variety of reasons. both males and females have problems, however females are likely to be able to get help/emotional support before it gets to the point where they become violent,psychotic etc. males on the other hand, will, as a result of betrayal, rejection,abuse,loneliness,bullying etc suffer an intense build up of emotion, until they eventually cant handle it anymore. the people that I am talking about are the ones who, alot of the time, have no friends,sit alone at school,get bullied or constantly excluded. eventually they become depressed and even more anxious/paranoid (if they had anxiety to begin with). then they become psychotic and either attempt suicide or get revenge on the world via shooting/violent crime as they believe the world is against them. as these people usually have few or no friends/emotional support, they don't care what they do or who they kill (they become psychopathic). the problem is not being accepted or included, its the same reason why racial minorities commit more crime. basically anyone that is different (including people with asd) will be rejected/ excluded (socially or physically) from society. does anyone else see a link between exclusion,rejection,negative stereotypes, discrimination,bullying and violence? why cant we just support eachother? why cant we all just get along? why is one gender given more support then the other? why is it so hard to make friends these days?. I am sorry that this is such a long post,however I believe that these issues are important and they are relevent (the exclusion,loneliness and rejection part) to people on this forum because of the way society sees people with ASD.

Hello Joshskuxx!
You pose a lot of interesting questions. I will see if I can give you my take on them. I'm not sure if you are asking these questions personally but just incase I will answer them as such. Basically I think there are a lot of factors that play into the answers for these questions. A friend of mine likes to refer to it as the moral decay of society and I agree. I think we as a society our culture and values has changed somewhat. We are very attached to things and not people anymore. (Of course I do not speak for everyone) Perhaps people feel like life is too busy and they must make every moment should be full of fun? It certainly used to appear so according to Facebook. Never a dull moment! Perhaps these people don't want to expend their time on "difficult" people. Not sure how to phrase this correctly. In other words people who are awkward, not positive all the time, have physical or mental difficulties, etc.

I don't think it's creepy to want to be included, cared about or want attention when feeling down. These are all natural human instincts. We want to share these emotions and be comforted. Just think, what is the natural human reaction when hearing good/bad news? Generally people start calling and telling their friends/family. Humans want to share experiences with each other and in doing so they bond. As you are phrasing all this natural wants as creepy, I must assume someone told you that you are being creepy for wanting this or treated you in a negative way when reaching out. If so, what happened? Remember, what may feel creepy to one person may not to another.

I think sometimes with ASD that we may be so hungry for these needs but not know how to go about getting them fulfilled. Our attempts may seem desperate or creepy or uncomfortable to some. Some people don't know how to cope with this. For example when people are depressed they do try to reach out at some point a lot of times before it spirals out of control. Some want to help but just don't know how to and feel helpless. Some have never been depressed and will shower the sufferer with platitudes and expect them to snap out of it. Fact is, a lot of people may not know how to help others emotionally. It makes them feel uncomfortable. And when people are uncomfortable they avoid that person/situation. A lot of times depressed people eventually even up losing their friends but are regained after they are no longer depressed. I think some people feel that x, y and z makes them feel better so that's the cure all for the depressed person. If that doesn't work... well they've done their best, right? I hope all this rambling makes sense. I wonder if ASD people with their awkwardness may invoke the same uncomfortableness in NT's as a depressed person might?

Also, like I say - what may be creepy to one might not be to another and I think this partially comes down to past experiences. There is an awkward customer that comes into my work. We talk sometimes about interesting topics. Guy is fun to talk to but then after a few conversations begins asking me what location I work at on which days and times. Now he may just want to see if he can swing by when I'm there to talk again but because of my past experiences with stalkers and people who want to harm me this throws up a red flag. Which puts me on edge and makes me give him a vague answer which in turn probably makes him feel like I don't like him. But the relationship isn't there yet for me to give out that information comfortably or state exactly why I don't want to answer. People who are distant might have had bad past experiences or may be having their own personal issues at that time. Or maybe just a jerk, but who can tell. How close are you to people you want to be included with or supported? Are these family members?


I never see guys that show emotions or support as weak. This again is a natural human thing. We can't all be strong all the time. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't have emotions. How can they comfort you and understand you when they don't know the feelings of sadness, despair, happiness, etc?

Why do people think that mental illness sufferers are faking it? Because people associate illness with something visible. People can relate easily to experiences they've had. If they have never had a mental illness they have no idea what it's like. They can only think about the time they were sad for a couple of days and got over it. If that's all they have to go on then they couldn't imagine being depressed all the time, hearing voices, having trouble relating to people, etc. It's easier to sympathize with illnesses we can see. I see a legless man I can imagine what difficulties he endures during the day because I have two legs and can logically put together how hard it would be to walk, shower, crawl etc with only one leg.

Why is it hard to make friends without being judged etc? I think some of this depends on age. When you're young you play with anyone and everyone on the playground. Kids don't care, they just want to play. As we grow up our attitudes and values change depending on environment and learned behavior. In school there is like a pecking order. It's hard to move up in that order. It's like self preservation - peck or be pecked. I think people carry that on into life, jobs, etc. Some people hunt out friends that have money, can give them something, are good looking, always doing something thrilling, etc. But not all are like that. If you keep hunting you will find people who will want to include you, care about you and support you. It might not be ten or so of these people, but all one needs is one or two good friends. Now, this might not be someone you can actually meet. My best friend I've known for eleven years from talking online. We message, write and send voice recordings to each other. I have never met her and possibly one day will. So never forget even online friends can be a very good option and give people like us an advantage because we can answer in our own good time and avoid looking nervous.

Why are there fewer female shooters? I have no idea. Maybe they are more likely to commit suicide instead? Why are females given more support? I'm not sure if they are. If two genders want help/support then there is a break down somewhere along the system if they are both not equally getting this. Are females more prone to speak up to a counsellor etc then a man? Does the man feel pressured by society to "man up" and face his misery alone instead of seeking help? Is seeking help considered being a wimp? If not, are there budget issues/insurance issues/ is there a waiting list to see a professional and by then the potential client has taken their aggression out already. I'm not really sure to be honest. But there does need to be more awareness in mental health. But to answer all the questions above, there is no one answer. There are so many factors (and some not listed) that play into why people are the way they are. Given that I think people have become more selfish and have the me syndrome I think trying to educate people and getting them to care more is going to be a challenge.

Females are are valued because of their beauty a male has to earn his value. Basically we're still doing the hunter and gatherer/nest roles even thousands of years later as humans.

As humans we all have some selfishness in the long run and some of it is subconscious.

This makes me want to cry but here is why. People who make you feel bad because you want to belong means that they aren't capable of being accepting. They're so insecure and full of pride that it will not let them. I also would say that dislike you for ridiculous purposes.