This is social anxiety

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A couple of months ago at work it was one of my colleague's birthday. I saw, like, 20 people from work had posted a happy birthday message on her timeline on Facebook, and she was sitting in the staff canteen looking relaxed and happy and had a few birthday cards next to her. There was about two or three other co-workers in there too. I came in and sat down, and noticing the obvious signs that it was her birthday (plus looking on Facebook) I thought I'd show a bit of interest, so confidently I said cheeefully, "is it your birthday?" And the girl said "ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I was confused, and another co-worker in the canteen laughed and said, "she doesn't want people to know it's her birthday!" then another co-worker said, "then Joe90 goes and yells out that it's your birthday!"
The girls were not being nasty or anything, and what I said wasn't socially "wrong", because I wasn't to know it was meant to be some secret, judging by the birthday messages on Facebook and the opened birthday cards on the table it looked far from secret, so I was just being friendly. Also I was psyching myself up to wish her a happy birthday, and I don't like people unexpectedly sssssssssshhhhhhhh-ing me, so the both fails put together made me feel embarrassed (although I didn't want to show it), and for the rest of the day I wished I hadn't said anything about her birthday.

So now I don't like showing much interest in people's personal lives in case I unexpectedly get ssssssshhhhhhh-ed. It's ok if their body language is saying "this is a secret" because I can pick up on that, but when it's so obviously not a secret and I try to make myself be more talkative then fail, it puts me off doing it again.

The girls WEREN'T intending on humiliating me, and they WEREN'T being mean, and it's a situation what wouldn't bother other people, but when you have social anxiety situations like these do bother you.

How would you feel in this situation? Is it a social anxiety thing to feel humiliated when being ssssssshhhhhhh-d or something similar?

I think you are just having difficulty in understanding some social situations, which is leading to anxiety. Social anxiety is usually diagnosed in people who have anxiety in social situations for reasons other than lacking social instinct and understanding.

It wasn't meant to be a secret, they were just joking around with you. Your co-worker was perhaps slightly annoyed (or pretending to be) that her birthday was recognized.

I understand that you got alarmed because of the unexpected reaction. It happens to me, too. I would feel embarrassed because it would take me a moment or two to figure out the situation, and I'd feel as if I'd done something wrong.

I knew they were joking around, but it still humiliated me.

I was reading up about social anxiety, and one of the symptoms said "being afraid a humiliating experience might happen again/overanalyzing what you feel is a social fail even if rationally you know it isn't". It's because I don't like being ssssshhhhhh-ed, whether it's a harmless joke or not.

I do have anxiety in social situations; afraid of being judged for being shy, afraid of being talked over and interrupted, feeling anxious about what others think of me, afraid of being the center of attention, and blushing and sweaty palms. I take in all the goings on; conversations, jokes, laughter, body language, etc, but being part of it makes me anxious.

What my OP was about was a PART of social anxiety, not what social anxiety is as a whole.

I think I have all of those things as well, to an extent. It only developed after I realized that I was a social moron, however, and started getting teased for being different. So I suppose in my case I don't meet the requirements.

It does sound like social anxiety, to me.

Yeah...I would be embarrassed if I were "sssssshhhhhhed," too.

I used to get "ssssshhhhed" constantly! I used to make thousands of social errors.

The best to do is take the hint. There are some NT's who guard their privacy in an extreme, sometimes, irrational manner.

I am good with picking up social cues, but that still doesn't make me a mind-reader. I didn't know the girl didn't want her birthday announced, because of the way it was so obvious that it was her birthday, so it felt unfriendly to just walk into the room and not mention her birthday to her when she was sitting at the table, cheerfully talking about what she was going to do that evening presumably for her birthday, and holding a load of cards that she had opened. Most young NTs like birthdays, so I thought I'd do nothing wrong by saying something.

But like Yigeren said, I was more alarmed by the reaction, even though I knew she didn't mean it nastily, I still felt stupid. I agree it could have happened to anyone who walked in at that moment, but because I'm rather quiet and only do small talk with most of my colleagues, I don't really know many of them too well.

I have done goof ups in social situations (not about the birthday of course) and I would then know I did something wrong because of the reactions I would get and I just learn to not do anything in social situations and to keep quiet and do nothing and keep to myself. This is how I am now in social situations because I don't want to do any goof ups. I also know it's a possibility I might have been with the wrong people, they could have just been mean kids for all I know but I still get nervous. And it's not that I feel humiliated or embarrassed, I just think I did something wrong and I am reminded "I must have done an aspie thing again and maybe my diagnoses is correct. I suck in social situations."

Is this still social anxiety?