The best to communicate anger

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Hi:
Though I have learned to control my my temper for the most part, I have the tendency to tell people off and let them know exactly what I am feeling. Though I do not tend to lose my level of honesty, I would like to let people know in a mature fashion when I am mad at them without being too blunt.

How do I do that?

"You pissed me off."

Then walk away.

Better yet, just walk away and give them the "silent treatment". Be civil, but cold. Let them figure it out.

Unlike Fnord, I wouldn't suggest doing the silent treatment. That just leaves them confused. It's better to be direct. Can you write a note and hand it to them?

"Hey, everybody! So-and-so is passing love notes! Let me read it to you! 'You make-a me so honi ...'. What a <disparaging remark>!"

[tears paper into unreadable pieces]

Writing notes backfires. Been there, done that, quit the job.

The only way to get through to some people is to make them uncomfortable. The confusion they receive from the Silent Treatment works well to that end.

I also suggest the direct route. Be honest with the person in a calm way.

Silent treatment rarely works and it just makes the other person upset. As the old saying goes- two wrongs don't make a right.

Last edited by B19 on 15 Mar 2016, 5:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.: flaming

If you want to directly confront a bully, then go right ahead. Be sure to record the event so that your next-of-kin can post it on YouTube.

Last edited by B19 on 15 Mar 2016, 5:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.: quote relating to another's now-edited post removed

You seem to be under the assumption that the person does not really care about Summer_Twilight. But is it right to assume that? Maybe the person will listen when told they have hurt her.

Really? A person who goes around hurting women actually cares?!

Oh, that's right ... wife-beaters always seem to claim to love their wives ...

We don't know that the person is being abusive. Personally, I'm the type who can get hurt by little things that the other person doesn't even know are hurtful. This could be a similar situation here.

Summer didn't say a thing about physical abuse, so let's not assume. Fnord.. you are honestly overreacting and acting very childish.

That nonsense about YouTube also wasnt necessary. If you are having a bad day or something, don't take it out on people online.

No this is nothing to do with bullying or abuse but rather learning to let others know that I am not a doormat in a gentle manner.

There is no difference.

The silent treatment is actually emotional abuse. It is also one of the manipulation techniques commonly used by narcissists to control people.

I would suggest waiting a beat until you get your emotions in check and then try to tell the person why you feel agitated and ask if they meant it as such. Straightforward but polite.

Either I tell a person off or give them silent treatment, better to tell them off than let it simmer. I have to finish things, I can't leave things unsettled. I like to finish arguments and fights.

I do that too because a lot of people need to be told off and I don't care if they think it's rude. If they deserve it then it's not rude for my judgement. I know people choose to be lied to and sprinkled with sugar when they really need their asses kicked. Sometimes there is no better universal language than a good beating!

Yes I am angry and yes I am pissed off. All the time. But at least I try to solve the problem, if the problem is a person then I vent my anger at them and it's their problem. I don't understand all this advice: keep it to yourself; put a smile on your face; expose another cheek; ignore them and all that s**t. This just breeds ignorance, arrogance and more annoying behaviors.

You f****d up = you will hear my anger. This is my coping strategy.