People choosing not to sit in your table?

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Has this happened to you often? You are already sitting in the school/work place cafeteria, when people you know enter the place - people you don't work closely or aren't friends with, but people you still know fairly well. And they don't come to sit in your table.

I always go to sit in the same table, if someone from my work place is already in the cafeteria, but some people from other departments don't come to sit with me. What do you think about/in such situations?

It happens to me sometimes. I usually try to keep busy when this happens and have my phone or something with me.

more room to sketch, eat and have my art supplies strewn around. i cannot complain there.

do you want them to talk to you or do you simply enjoy company?

It's not that I don't mind being in my own company, but why I've propably become so conscious of this is that it is done pretty much only when a group, let's say a group of three from another department, enters the cafeteria, whereas when an individual member of the same group enters alone, the person comes to sit with me.

So I was wondering if others perceive this sort of a behavior similarly. I've started to think it must be some sort of power play based on exclusion (bullying). Because most groups and males don't do it in my case (I am a female) and neither do the same people individually.

People prefer to be those that are powerful/influential/popular. If you're none of those things than be prepared to eat alone unless you find other outcasts. Even amongst NT outcasts, they will toss you aside if they get a crumb thrown to them from the in crowd.

Yeah, I guess it's about illusionary power. I guess it's the sort of behavior you see in girls around the ages 11 and 13 - "Oh, we went there, but didn't tell you. We have a secret, but aren't going to tell you. We can see, but you can't. Khihihihhii."

It's really funny actually now that I think about it. And it's even orchestrated in similar fashion by few key persons that the weak in mind then conform to.

I have always had to deal with that behavior from people. I never had anyone to sit with at lunch when I was a kid. I was the kid that everyone made fun of all the time. The only time I had someone to sit with was when my best friend had lunch at the same time as me. My best friend had a friend that turned her back on her. This girl had gained acceptance from the popular people and turned her back on my best friend. Church people aren't any different. People would only sit with my family if their popular friends weren't around. People like to do what they can to move up on the social ladder. Unfortunately, people are all about popularity and power.

I had the same sorts of experiences growing up.

ladyelaine, I guess adults are the same.

After reading your post, I realized that my parents weren't popular people either. But if it is popularity that turns you into a complete a.., I guess I have nothing to complain.

Just forget about these idiots.

I know the pain, the hurt.

I've learned to believe these people are missing out on something if they turn their backs to me.

People who were bullies as kids continue to be bullies for the rest of their lives. The apple never falls far from the tree.

I only find the above to be true in some cases.

Some people are forced to, or want to, learn another way.

It seems like people only stick with their own groups and of they are familiar with each other, they tend to stick together. I think if you were more sociable and talked to them more, then they might see you wanting to be part of their group and might start sitting with you. Just a thought.

In school I had to be the one to sit with other kids and only sometimes did kids sit with me. My mother told me something interesting in junior high that if you don't ever sit with anyone, people think you are the one who doesn't want to be with them so they end up thinking you think you are better than them. So after that I started to sit with kids randomly.

I tried sitting with people but I never felt included and part of the group. People would sometimes just sit somewhere else or wait for the cool people to enter the room and they would go join the cool people and leave me behind.

slw1990, I also try to focus on other things. That seems like a good advice.

League_Girl, what you state in the first paragraph might very well be the case at times. Conversational flow and the topics the so called norm is used to might not be my strongest areas.