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lordfakename
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06 Apr 2016, 1:39 pm

I guess this could go in the Work forum as well, but it's more about socialising.

Today a work colleague kept talking to me about how he likes to go out drinking with another co-worker, who I also know. I seem to get on well with both of them. The work colleague also spoke about how he doesn't have many friends. I thought he might be trying to see if I wanted to be friends. So later I said that if the two of them wanted I could go out with them as well, but he didn't say anything, and changed the subject. But we continued chatting in a friendly way for the rest of the day. Did I interpret this right? Was I too forthright?

It's not a big deal, I'm just a little confused.



kraftiekortie
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06 Apr 2016, 5:37 pm

You did nothing wrong.

But I would let the guy make the invitation to you, rather than you "inviting yourself."

I don't feel that you were arrogantly "inviting yourself," by the way. It's possible (though not probable) that the guy might have thought you were "inviting yourself."

Just let the guy make the invitation to you.



SocOfAutism
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07 Apr 2016, 9:13 am

I agree with Kraftie.

I think it's weird that the guy was rattling on about that and then didn't follow it up with an invitation. I think anyone would have been confused.

I bet he wasn't sure if he wanted to make the leap from work friends to real friends with you and he's still thinking about it. When people are out drinking around other people, it brings a degree of personal knowledge that is sometimes uncomfortable when you go back to work.



lordfakename
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07 Apr 2016, 12:58 pm

Thanks for the replies. I don't have any shifts with this guy in the forseeable future it seems so I shall try not to worry about it.



Spiderpig
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07 Apr 2016, 1:10 pm

Telling someone you don’t have many friends can also be a way to let them know they’re extremely unlikely to become your friend.


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SocOfAutism
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08 Apr 2016, 12:18 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
Telling someone you don’t have many friends can also be a way to let them know they’re extremely unlikely to become your friend.


hahaha! Wow I feel stupid. I didn't think if this way. I guess it depends on how it's said.



carbonmonoxide
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08 Apr 2016, 4:22 pm

Could be that this person has Asperger and didn't know what to make of it :-)



Edenthiel
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08 Apr 2016, 4:59 pm

If you want to test it, tell him you like to go out drinking too - and, can he recommend any good places?
If he tells you the place they go to, he is less likely to mind you being there and might ask you to join them if you show up. So you go some time when you figure they might be there, and 'accidentally' be where they can say hi to you if they want to.

Personally, that's way more work than I'm willing to go through.


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lordfakename
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09 Apr 2016, 12:30 pm

Edenthiel wrote:
If you want to test it, tell him you like to go out drinking too - and, can he recommend any good places?
If he tells you the place they go to, he is less likely to mind you being there and might ask you to join them if you show up. So you go some time when you figure they might be there, and 'accidentally' be where they can say hi to you if they want to.

Personally, that's way more work than I'm willing to go through.


That feels a little stalkery for my tastes :P