The friend that nobody likes

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by Dane Cook https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_kg0W3AeIU
Haha it is funny as it is sad because it is true. Were you ever the friend that nobody likes? Or did you know someone that was?

I wasn't really liked throughout my school career.

I was sort of a pariah in high school.

I became more liked when I became an adult.

Awww I'm sorry to hear that. Y'know what else is sad? The fact that I read some comments saying that they had a friend that did not like a "Brian" in the group that is annoying and weird. And that they try to drop subtle hints and try to avoid him but he won't just take a hint. The thing is what if the guy has Aspergers? What if he does not mean to by annoying to them and does not understand their hints? causing him to be confused and upset about why his friends are avoiding him. The thing that makes me angry is that these people in the comments blame "Brian" for not taking a hint instead of themselves for not being direct about not wanting to be his friend anymore.

Yep...kids can be cruel sometimes.

I hope Brian finds a way to make friends.

Yeah you said it!

Yeah hope all the "Brian's" do too.

I was Brian! I didn't know it at the time though, untill one time i had an argument with someone in the group of friends. He told me everybody hated me, and they were just being Nice to me out of pity. Stupid part is i still hung out with them for about a year after that. The other people in the group were saying that he was mean and were being overly Nice afterwards, but i know now he was saying the truth. They were just saying that because it is not nice to say the truth. Apparently it is much nicer to say mean things behind someone's back instead of to them in person.
I dislike some people to, but i just don't Act Nice to them then. I find it funny that makes me the rude one. Personally i think that would make the polite one, but hey i am weird.
I try not to hold a grudge though, since that thought me a lesson in life.

Yes, kind of. Well, I figured it out when a member of my tight-knit highschool friends invited everyone except me to her wedding, and even explained to others that I wasn't really a friend anyway. News to me! Especially as I had tried staying in touch with her. What's confusing to me too....this was one of the ways I was emotionally abused as a child, the abuser always told me how disgusting and awful I was, that no one would ever love me or want to be my friend, they'd all always hate me. So that tune has been playing in my head all of these years for that reason also. But....I seem to see evidence that many really are made uncomfortable by me, and sometimes I have caught their comments behind my back, or they are blatant (co-workers). I remember sometimes thinking that I am really hitting it off with people, only to learn later to my chagrin that they find me very annoying. So I feel unsure about how/if to say anything at all.....leaving it all up to other people whether they want to be my friend.

I was the one that "nobody liked" but I never gave a f**k. I remember growing up with people that were very similar to Dane Cook and I wouldn't hesitate to call these people out for being such c***s.

Dave Cook wants to hate all people named "Robby" or "Bobby" than he ret*d to a level that should embarrass his entire family into suicide.

He isn't funny and he isn't even close to being funny.

I honestly can't tell. My friends do not seem to try to include me, I sit on the outside. The adults tell me that I am being too "negative"... But the kids still barely pay attention to me. I told them that my cat was dying and they just looked away.

My parents have been saying I'm too "negative" my whole life and every circle of friends I have had almost always didn't include me in meet ups. I would only be told sometimes, but usually I would be the "friend" that crashed the party because a lot of these "friends" were neighbors (one of them lived next door).

I have been the "Dislike-able" figure many times among people who became the subject of bashing when I wasn't around.

Examples:

1. During my last year of middle school and high school, I was in special education and I was the only student with mild autism while the rest of the mild cases had other situations like ADD and dyslexia. There were three people who said they were my friends but I was never invited to their things. Rather one of them came forward each time afterwards and boasted about what they did. I was also excluded from riding to prom with them as a group. They also ripped me behind my back by also spreading ugly lies about me that were not true.

2. I had two females who were close friends during different times during my life who I did things with and spoke over the phone to. Though they said that they were my friends and loved me, both of them kept telling me that their friends, family and boyfriend/spouse didn't like me over this or that. Therefore I was could never meet their friends due to those supposed reasons. On the contrary, neither one of them really liked me from the get go but really hung around because they had no one else to associate with. They were both disliked themselves and were insecure and envious of me.

I thought you were going to talk about Ross Geller.

My bad..

I worked at an amusement park for three summer seasons and everyone there seemed to find bond and do things outside of work. Though I appeared to get along with these people, no one ever called me and invited me to hang out with them. They also refused to come to the things that I invited them too because they were "Too busy."

One day I found out that the management elected not to hire me back due to discovering that the environment was way too stressful for me along with learning that I was an angry person. Not only that, I could not find employment anywhere so I was depressed and attempted to look to them for support under instant messenger. All of them were not only callous but didn't seem to have time to listen to me. So when I blew up at them in an e-mail, one of them responded with,

"I was going to invite you but I had to check with the others but they said no because they thought you would be too hard to handle."

Some of these comments almost made me cry. Hugs fir you all.

Ah Done Cook really isn't known as being the world's nicest person.

Question: what do we do with the Brian in our lives. Tell them up front we don't like them and never associate with them again. Is that better or worse than just tolerating their company so they can get to be out and about?

I guess the right thing to do is include them, but not rag them behind their back. If anyone in the group starts ragging on Brian, change the subject or bring up one of Brian's good aspects and talk about that instead.

We could start talking to Brian about his inappropriate behaviors and helping him develop better social skills.

Indeed. In the event that I am the Brian, this is what I wish my friends would do.

That, and reevaluate our own social processes. Do we dislike Brian because he talks about taboo subjects? Because he is not well versed in our sense of humor? Because he dresses funny? We should think about what Brian could teach us, and what we could teach him.