"No I want to keep the group small."

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Hi:
I went to a gathering last night for a group of individuals who all have Asperger's Syndrome like myself. We also seem to share common special interests as well as learning familiar skills. Though I have gotten along with most of the people in the group, there is one who keeps dropping hints that he doesn't want me around or let along be my friend.

As we were getting ready for dinner last night I over heard this guy making plans with the others to attend an event to advance their skills. I wanted to join but he said

"You don't really need to be there because you have experience already."

I said "Would it be alright to go along and make an observation?"

He responded with "No because I would like to keep the group small."

Basically everyone else but me has been included.

That sucks.

Can you sit him down and talk to him about how you can get along better? Don't blame, don't ask him "why are you being like this?" say something like I felt left out when you organised that thing without me. It hurt my feelings. I hope I haven't done anything to upset or affend you. I want to know how you think we can get along better.

Is he the leader?
Sounds to me like he may be jealous or feel threatened by you.

Based on what you've said, it seems as if some other members of the group think you're "higher-functioning" than they are

This impression is based upon the "more experienced" comment.

That sounds just plain mean to me

Maybe you could coordinate a group event and see who comes along? He can stay home if he wants.

I have invited him to things on numerous occasions and he is always too busy to associate with me. Yet he has time for everyone else. Whenever I have confronted him it's

"Well I was planning to meet you for coffee but I was to busy.

No but he is an aspie himself who likes to be the leader of the pack who thinks he's superior to everyone else.

Move on. There are plenty of people that would enjoy your company. Maybe try meetup groups based on your interests. This guy or gal is unworthy of your time.

The problem is that I often have meet people in the past who were interested in pursuing a friendship with me at one point. Then something life changing happens and they don't have time for me. I always end up hoping that will come back and realize how much they still love me and set some quality time for me as a friend.


As for this guy I didn't share some of the other things that happened that night because I wanted to get your feedback on what he said to me regarding being involved. Not only did he make it clear that I wasn't welcome to join the group for this new skill training and make an observation, but he became extremely hostile towards me later that night based on two different views on a subject that I will not share. Things ended where he didn't want me be around me along with leaving in tears including myself. He also ended up blocking me on Facebook so I don't think I will be seeing him anytime soon.

I have also opted not worrying about him since
A. I do have lots of experience along with having my own connections of people who can help me that are interested.
B. I have my own motivations and ideas to keep myself busy.
C. He thinks the world revolves around him along with being very immature

Good advice.

*Met

Does that mean that you've "met" Phoenix's advice?

Kraftie:
I had a typo error on my last post and I could not edit my last posting. So I put Met* in.