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Miss_Skitty
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03 Jun 2016, 5:24 pm

Probably as a result of being on the spectrum I sometimes feel intimidated by some people's extrovertedness and feel a bit low at times that I'm not like this, as being extroverted seems to be the norm. For example, I don't understand how most people I know feel comfortable with having hundreds or even thousands of friends on Facebook, being exposed to so many people who could potentially make unkind judgments of them. I'm not saying it's a bad thing them having loads of people on Facebook or sharing lots of information about themselves, I just don't understand how people can feel comfortable doing that, or why people desire so much attention from others. But then I ask myself stuff like, 'am I weird for not having many friends on Facebook?' And 'how many friends *should* I have really?' Humans are meant to be social creatures, and it really does feel like the majority of people are more extroverted. I really do think all of this just stems from how difficult I find social situations and reading people. However, like a lot of people on the spectrum I've mastered being good at social situations through sheer practice and a lot of learning from mistakes, I find socialising rather stressful at times though. Can anyone relate to this? Anyone else feel like they're in the minority being introverted?


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mikeman7918
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03 Jun 2016, 6:03 pm

Yeah, that's how I feel too. Unlike a lot of aspies here I can't really mask that well and my 11 year old sister (who is even rather introverted) has better social skills then I do.

Because I am a nerd I am going to start talking about statistics now. You and I are both on the introverted end of the spectrum, so it makes sense that most people are more extroverted then us. Also, we are more likely to meet extroverts because they go out and meet people more often. Those two things work together so that if people were distributed across the introvert-extrovert spectrum in a bell curve (which is probably true) then if you picked a random person off the street then it would be very likely that they would be more extroverted then us.


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Miss_Skitty
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03 Jun 2016, 6:18 pm

mikeman7918 wrote:
Yeah, that's how I feel too. Unlike a lot of aspies here I can't really mask that well and my 11 year old sister (who is even rather introverted) has better social skills then I do.

Because I am a nerd I am going to start talking about statistics now. You and I are both on the introverted end of the spectrum, so it makes sense that most people are more extroverted then us. Also, we are more likely to meet extroverts because they go out and meet people more often. Those two things work together so that if people were distributed across the introvert-extrovert spectrum in a bell curve (which is probably true) then if you picked a random person off the street then it would be very likely that they would be more extroverted then us.


This is so very true! Remembering that there are definitely other introverts out there (albeit happily tucked up in their own homes doing introverty things) and that I'm not of some extreme weird minority makes me feel better. It's lovely to know that people can relate here. Thanks for the response :)


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03 Jun 2016, 7:29 pm

Excellent answer, Mikeman! Apparently the meme that only 25% are introverts came from Isabel Myers (of Myers-Briggs fame). It was just a guess, without any stats to back it, but over the years it gained a veneer of assumed truth. Probably because it seemed reasonable due to the reasons you listed.

According to the 1998 National Representative Sample by the Myers-Briggs Foundation, the breakdowns are:
E- Extroversion, I- Introversion
Total E 49.3%, I 50.7%
Males E 45.9%, I 54.1%
Females E 52.5%, I 47.5%
Source:
Myers, I. B., McCaulley, M. H., Quenk, N. L., & Hammer, A. L. (1998). MBTI Manual: A guide to the development and use of the
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (3rd ed.). Palo Alto, CA: Consulting Psychologists Press.


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HighLlama
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03 Jun 2016, 7:36 pm

Miss_Skitty wrote:
Probably as a result of being on the spectrum I sometimes feel intimidated by some people's extrovertedness and feel a bit low at times that I'm not like this, as being extroverted seems to be the norm. For example, I don't understand how most people I know feel comfortable with having hundreds or even thousands of friends on Facebook, being exposed to so many people who could potentially make unkind judgments of them. I'm not saying it's a bad thing them having loads of people on Facebook or sharing lots of information about themselves, I just don't understand how people can feel comfortable doing that, or why people desire so much attention from others. But then I ask myself stuff like, 'am I weird for not having many friends on Facebook?' And 'how many friends *should* I have really?' Humans are meant to be social creatures, and it really does feel like the majority of people are more extroverted. I really do think all of this just stems from how difficult I find social situations and reading people. However, like a lot of people on the spectrum I've mastered being good at social situations through sheer practice and a lot of learning from mistakes, I find socialising rather stressful at times though. Can anyone relate to this? Anyone else feel like they're in the minority being introverted?


I stopped using Facebook a few years ago because it's annoying and mostly useless. It's not weird to dislike Facebook. People say there's no "i" in "team." I say there's no "team" in "introvert." I love my introversion, and other introverts.



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04 Jun 2016, 1:02 am

Try being an ambivert (halfway between intro and extra), where extraverts are too socially exhausting, and all your introverted friends are boring homebodies who just want to lazily sit around playing video games 24/7 and never want to go out or do anything interesting or fun, and if you want to do so ALL responsibility and effort for arranging outings is put onto you, so it's either you sit around at the house doing nothing or go out and have fun with your friends but have to drag their dead weight out of their comfort zones just to have a decent time. :roll:

Ambiverts are the true minority.

Introverts are very common nowadays, especially in the millenial generation. The internet allows you all to meet other introverts easily. I almost never meet self-identified 'ambiverts' or both introvert and extraverts online or in real-life.

Being an introvert is perfectly normal and acceptable, of course.

It's the ambiverts that get the real criticism - boring stick in the muds to their outgoing, social and extraverted friends (because ambiverts need more time away to recharge), and socially exhausting, far too energetic and fast-paced and wild for the more reserved and relaxed introverted friends.

I genuinely feel upset I can't relate to either.

All the things introverts say they fail. 'I hate parties, they make me feel too drained and socially uncomfortable and exhausted so I go home early' 'I prefer relaxing indoors with a good book then going out at nightclubs to party', 'I make up excuses to my friends not to go out with them on friday nights and instead spend my friday nights all alone inside watching netflix and eating ice cream' I don't relate to any of it.



Miss_Skitty
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04 Jun 2016, 6:05 am

Thanks for the replies everyone :D much appreciated!

Outrider, you're right about ambivertedness! That's definitely the most uncommon I've found, and I would identify as that. I love outings with friends but I think some of them don't understand my shyness/dislike of big social media sites or the fact that if I have a big day out with them I'd need time to recharge my batteries the next day. I do enjoy parties sometimes and other times just quiet alone times; you don't have to be one or the other. But sometimes I don't feel extroverted enough for extroverts and as you said sometimes introverted people can be a tad too introverted for us!


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Grahzmann
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04 Jun 2016, 1:52 pm

Most introverts I know are still more extraverted than I am.



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04 Jun 2016, 8:31 pm

Most people aren't extroverts, the extroverts just make sure they are connected to more people so they are more apparent than the introverts.


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Kuraudo777
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04 Jun 2016, 8:48 pm

I'm an introvert so much that I almost become mute at school unless someone talks to me directly.


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