Forum Private Message Etiquette?

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I used to participate in discussion forums throughout my life, but I've never done private messages before I joined this one. Usually, people have some other way of taking things off the forum or they don't, so the private message thing never happened for me. Anyone have any general rules of thumb for private messages?

Don't share what is written within a PM with a forum audience. That is considered to be wrong.

I would ask the person whom you're PMing if it's all right to PM him/her. Especially if the person is of the opposite gender.

It's extremely bad form to bring an argument you're having with somebody within the Forum to a PM. If somebody disagrees with me, and hasn't PMed me previously, I would consider it harassment if the person PMs me while continuing the argument.

Good points. The use of the PM system to hound and harrass others is unacceptable, and if reported will be actioned by mods.

Generally my experience has been that WP members use the system very responsibly. As in any private conversation between relative strangers, respectful boundaries and politeness are important, especially if there is no established basis of a previous trusting relationship between sender and recipient.

The PM system can also be a great means of support for members going through a tough phase, though unasked-for advice is a bit of a minefield and something to be mindful of.

PMs that are sincere, polite, meaningful, interesting, supportive, affirming (any one of these or any mixture of these) are generally always well received.

Sending someone a PM, even without prior notice, is perfectly acceptable in and of itself.
The specific PM might not be, but you shouldn't feel a barrier to sending one.

Thanks, all of this makes sense. To deal with the concept of asking permission to PM, I think I'll ask, except when someone directly asks me a question, especially an off-topic one, that I'd rather answer in more detail through PM. I know that the trickier parts about boundaries are situational.

If someone says they are done talking, don't send them anymore PMs. If you think there was some misunderstanding, then try and resolve it by trying to clarify what you meant but if you don't hear back from that person, move on.

If someone hasn't responded to your PMs, don't send them anymore. Three is my limit.

All the above is good advice. I tend to communicate on WP mainly by pm, often following up comments from a thread where I have found someone's posts helpful and interesting, or simply because I empathise with what they have said there and elsewhere. If I don't get an answer, I don't send that person another pm, on the assumption that they don't like that sort of contact.

On a general note, it might be a good idea if people who don't want pms specifically say so in their signature. (Some people already do this.)

Thanks everyone. I've been enjoying PMs on here drama free so far.

It's bad form to send an unsolicited PM based solely on an argument in the Forum.

I feel, if you want to continue the argument, that you folks should at least exchange pleasantries, to show that you respect each other.

If it's a person of the opposite sex, I would even ask permission to PM, within the PM.