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Superheroine
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06 Sep 2016, 7:39 am

I suck at keeping in contact with people. Is this common for you all as well?

Maintaining relationships is difficult for me. I want to keep my relatives pleased and keep the friends I make, but I am not able to message them back with any regularity. If its not immediate family, I may not reply at all. This is because I either don't know how to respond to the message or don't feel very much like conversing at the time. My immediate family has given up and just accepts that I don't call much. And my poor communication probably makes other relatives and friends feel bad. I realized recently that messaging back quickly for some people is a big deal.

If you are like me in this way, what do you do?



ArielsSong
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06 Sep 2016, 9:42 am

I am exactly the same.

I want to keep in contact with people, but I simply don't think to send them a message or sort out getting together.

With talking online, I just forget that I have to actually start conversations. I don't think to talk to people.

Even if I do manage to remember to contact someone, I'm faced with the issue that I'm incredibly indecisive and also find it hard to build myself up to socialising, even with people that I enjoy being with. So, if they suggest "shall we do something later this week?" I feel it's too soon and I get stressed, so I'll put off contacting someone if I don't feel 'ready' to meet. It's not just about finding a free hour or two that I can meet them in - it's about having time to prepare beforehand, which also means that I like to know what we're doing so if we arrange a time but we don't know where we're meeting or what we're doing, that's also incredibly stressful.

And if we don't immediately pin a date down then I end up saying I'll check my calendar and then, again, I forget to do it and we're back in the same situation.

Or, I manage to remember to contact someone and for whatever reason they forget to respond, I feel like I'm hassling to be the next one to make contact again, so we end up going for months because I don't prompt a response.

It's a wonder I ever manage to meet with people!



richardbenson
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06 Sep 2016, 10:28 pm

I dont keep in contact with my family all that much. A little facebook time and a arms length aways is good for me to catch up on their lives, they aint bad people or anything I am just a little rough around the edges and allergic to drama, which there is plentyof over there. Keeping people intrested is my biggest challenge so I can become a great friend, I suppose I dont have a wide variaty of topics to keep people around me and like certian things, so its a challenge. Just need to find my nitch as they say somewhere but I am hopefull, :)


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Mack01
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09 Sep 2016, 1:23 am

Superheroine wrote:
I suck at keeping in contact with people. Is this common for you all as well?

Maintaining relationships is difficult for me. I want to keep my relatives pleased and keep the friends I make, but I am not able to message them back with any regularity. If its not immediate family, I may not reply at all. This is because I either don't know how to respond to the message or don't feel very much like conversing at the time. My immediate family has given up and just accepts that I don't call much. And my poor communication probably makes other relatives and friends feel bad. I realized recently that messaging back quickly for some people is a big deal.

If you are like me in this way, what do you do?


Personally, im not into messaging except for specific information or to meet up. And I don't even think that's a bad thing - some people like the casual messaging, and some people don't.

How are you like with talking generally? Depending on that, and phone costs etc, it might be worth immediately phoning somebody who messages you, have a quick 5 minutes blah blah blah and then put the phone down. This is what i do when I think someone is hinting towards wanting a long text conversation.

Might be worth you adopting perhaps?



auntblabby
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09 Sep 2016, 3:45 am

I diligently reply to all emails I get, and all PMs I get, as long as the people emailing and PMing me are on the level.



kraftiekortie
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09 Sep 2016, 7:06 am

I hope my level is high in your estimation.



auntblabby
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09 Sep 2016, 3:37 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I hope my level is high in your estimation.

indubitably it is as high as it gets :wtg:



kraftiekortie
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09 Sep 2016, 5:42 pm

We'll have to get you a girl...somehow!



auntblabby
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09 Sep 2016, 6:12 pm

^^^I appreciate your kind thoughts :flower: