Tried to make a new friend, met with rejection

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Marknis
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18 Sep 2016, 9:38 pm

I go down to Waterloo Records sometimes and the time I went before today, I had a short but friendly conversation about a band (Swans) I was going to see since I brought up one of their albums to the check out. She said "Maybe I'll see you at the show!" and my therapist thought maybe she was trying to get to know me. I didn't see her at the show but I encountered her again a few hours ago at the same store. I needed to get a Melvins album (Who I saw last night) and my therapist said I should try talking to her again. She asked me about the show as well as introduced herself to me and recommended I listen to a new cd. She took me over to the sound sampler and while I was listening to the song, I thought about breaking out of my shell as well as taking my therapist's advice. I went back over to where the girl was working and I asked her out of curiosity if she had a facebook account since that felt more comfortable to me than asking her for her phone number. She told me she didn't use facebook for social media and just had it to keep up with a music page. I think I just replied "Okay..." and left the store.

I don't know what to think about this situation. It seemed like she wanted to be friends but when I asked her for a way to keep in touch, she didn't seem enthusiastic anymore. I've tried to get out of my social rut in various ways through out the year but the results have been very disappointing.



Crusher
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18 Sep 2016, 9:54 pm

Sorry if this is totally unhelpful, but sometimes it helps me to imagine the best case (rather than always assuming the worst).

For example: she really doesn't use facebook for socializing (neither do I). Maybe she hates facebook, and feels lame about it when asked & she doesn't know what to say after (me, again). It might not be you that she's rejecting...maybe you can talk to her some other time and see if you can be friendly still. Don't give up so soon (though I know it sucks to have to keep trying when things are discouraging).



Marknis
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21 Sep 2016, 1:51 pm

I've had so many discouraging scenarios happen to me for the last few years it is making me wonder if there is a cut off age or shelf life to making friends and dating.



alpacka
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22 Sep 2016, 3:44 pm

If you see her again, say hello and smile. Say something easy like "finding any good album?" or whatever. Dont make the talk long and dont ask for phonenumber or anything. If she will contact you she will, you already done alot! Leave it that way and see if she is approaching YOU.


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Tobes
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28 Sep 2016, 2:52 am

I agree with alpacka. Hey, she showed interest in you... that's something. She works at the store, so it's possible she was only being friendly because that's her job. So it's just a matter of being open to both possibilities and not getting down if it doesn't work out.

Maybe you can go do one of the band's Facebook pages, there might be someone in town who likes the band and you can become Facebook friends and go from there.