Aspie's Red Pill - Understanding people

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pulkitsingh01
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09 Oct 2016, 10:44 pm

Hi,
My special interest is 'human psychology' and I've approached the subject in a little unconventional way.
I have some conclusions so far which I would like to share. I know I maybe wrong about many things but you might have already tried many models to understand people, here's another interesting model to understand NTs and people in general.

Human mind : Senses and Addiction

I propose that we look at the behavior of humans (or any animal for that matter) through these two things.
And what can we explain with it? Everything! (at least so far I've been)

A brief introduction about addictions -
Addiction : The clinging of mind to feel something again and again.
Force behind addiction : Addiction is driven by urges. If there are no urges, there's no addiction.
End goals : Gratification. But it's never final and the gratification has to be repeated again and again.
Cutting the supply : Whenever a supply is cut off, there's reaction. First there're urges, then anger/fear, then depression, then dark/light. Why do I mention two different final outcomes? Because it depends on who cuts the supply off.
If it's external then there's darkness at the end. If someone voluntarily cuts of the supply, like monks, then there's light. (But that's not the topic for now)

So what?
The next time you see emotions, here's how you can related to it -
Happy : Gratification or incoming gratification. The person got the supply of whatever he/she wants.
Angry : Hindrance in supply. But the person feels powerful hence the anger.
Fear : (Probable) Hindrance in supply. But the person feels weak hence the fear.
Sad : Supply has been cut off for some time. Some attempts of procuring it have failed in the past.
Depression : Supply has been cut off for a long time. Many, many attempts to get it back have failed. Individual feels loss of control.

But that's not the only problem that an Aspie faces, the things mentioned above may already be known to him. But merely knowing doesn't help unless each time the emotion is linked to the supply.

So here are a few links that I have established -
1. Condition : Someone makes an ugly face while you're talking to him.
Supply that you cut off : Expression. Whatever we (or NTs to be specific) say is almost always to induce an effect. If they are sharing something it maybe because -
- They are telling you about the joy and trying to relive the past. Feel the gratification mentally.
- They are telling you about their pain to gain sympathy. (Please don't think it's a bad thing, it's normal.)
It'll earn them alliance and support which will help in future gratifications.
- They are telling about their achievements. Every achievement is a metric of the control that individual has over the world around him. He seeks control to procure gratifications easily and readily. But it's all a mental construct and many times people have to confirm their sense of control. This is called validation.
They seek validation for their achievement to confirm that what they achieved really matters. And it will really help them control things and finally get the gratification.
- They are trying to make small talk. It may again be related to their control and achievement. It's called networking. More people they know, more the alliance. Which means more control. You are just part of their big network and if you respond warmly then it makes them feel that they have succeeded in forming an alliance with you.
- They are telling you things which you don't agree to. Whatever you are saying hinders their gratification either directly or indirectly.
Directly : The thing that they want comes to them through you. Imagine a bargaining scenario in a shop.
Indirectly : You are telling them something which changes how they see the world. Maybe you tell them that a theory which they read in high school and spent so much time learning is wrong. Now if they accept it this means they have to loose the knowledge. This knowledge was gained as means to gain control. So, they loose control over the world. Which means (probable) lack of gratification. Hence you will come across resistance. (These are just examples, there can be many more scenarios but maybe you'll get an idea how to form the links.)

2. Condition: (so called) Alphas treating a guy badly.
Supply that's challenged : Women.
Women is one of the biggest supplies and it's almost always the cause for more than half of the emotions.

3. Condition : They are making fun of you.
Reason : Intelligence and acceptability. If they can prove to themselves that they have these two things more than you then they gain more control. Which means...again...more gratification.

While most of these things may seem, well, things. Things are not the end goal. Gratification is.
It comes down to touch, taste, sound, ...
Take for example, women. If men seek women it's not because they want to give them their money and never see their face again. They want to touch her, they want to listen to her sweet voice etc.

Again, I maybe wrong about many things. But this model helps me very much.
Please let me know if I can be of more help.



DataB4
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15 Oct 2016, 7:24 am

Interesting post. I never really thought about socialization from an addiction or gratification-seeking perspective. I would also add novelty-seeking as an important motivating factor: that need for the new or unexpected to enhance what might otherwise be a mundane life.