Looking for someone

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The post came out pretty long and if that was me coming across such thing I don't think I would spend the time to read all of it but I just wanted to write it the way it is and I guess I did it. The most important part is all underlined but after reading all of this again I think You should read it all aswell to get the whole picture (reading only the final part may result in justifying the intention wrongly) .

I've created this account, here on wrongplanet.net, feeling the need to belong somewhere and overall loneliness. I've been lonely for some time now even though I have siblings and quite some "friends". Talking to them I've always felt like we were speaking different languages (I was expecting them to see things the way I did but that was never really the case, which was resulting in quarrels and such things).

My subconscious way of dealing with the loneliness for the past few years (I' m 19) was watching youtube and twitch. I did not realise that that was the case until I wanted to cease doing these things as they were consuming too much of my time. At the beginning I only felt tension to start watching again but then the loneliness struck. I tried to deal with it by getting to know my siblings better but the confusion beetwen us continued and even more: I discovered that talking with them (especially discussing more serious matters such as emotions etc.) really iritates me as they seem not to get what I mean in most cases and in order to make it somehow understandable I have to really take my time.

Then I went to a psychiatrist due to some ADHD symptoms that I have had for some time (took me quite a while to finally go and see a doctor because I didn' t have the easiest time as a child and my mother had not really noticed anything, having to take care of 4 children and some other stuff, as I was just trying to do my thing and not stand out too much) and got diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD.

Now I'm sitting here writing this and finally getting to the point and purpose of creating this topic and the account, but before that I think I should say that I've never thought that I would need someone's attention so much that it would make me write such a post as this. I thought I would be a lone wolf, just getting through life on my own not really needing anyone, but I guess it's just a human thing, such as hunger or thirst, to feel the need of having someone that you can write to at any time and any circumstance and expect this someone to read, understand and respond and the person can expect the same from you.

Now for the final part: I wanted to find such someone here, thinking that maybe it would be easier for us - people with Asperger's - to understand each other and not only that, as these relatioships would be concluded via Internet it would be easier to write about absolutely anything due to not actually having to see the person in real, day to day, life.

To make it easier for You to decide whether or not You are the person I'm looking for I would like to write down few things that I would look for in such person:
- the most important requirement is for You to think that this is a great idea, I don't want someone to say "well we can try it" I really want to commit to the idea (well not really - You can have such attitude but with the addition of really thinking that this is a good idea and wanting to find here somone);
- this requirement would narrow the pool of possible future friends quite drastically so I want it to be just tentaive and that is for IQ - I would like You to have IQ of 130 or abbove but that is not really such a big deal .

Nothing else is coming to my mind right now and so I think the best way would be to ask each other questions in PMs.

If You would like to find a friend here and You think I'm not the right person for You just write a post under this one describing yourself a bit and stating some recquirements.

I wanted to also disclaim that english is not my first language and any correction of mistakes would be much appreciated.

It might help to list something about yourself first - your interests etc. - so that other people have something to relate to.

Quite frankly, you lost me at the part where you specified IQ.

IQ isn't real, it's like when capitalist right wing c***s say that wealth trickles down.

It doesn't

Ever

I find certain situational coincidences (into which I cannot and do not wish to dwell right now, but are highly related your post) to be quite uncanny.
For this reason and similar reasons as yourself, I decided to write this reply.

I want to say that at this moment it seems to me that commiting to a friendship is something I can not do.
Also I cannot promise anything in depth, entertaining, I cannot promise to understand you, nor to be there or stay friends (whatever definition of 'friend' you may subscribe to).
Nor can I promise to reciprocate self-disclosure, and also I cannot promise to show interest in small talk.
But I also don't guarantee to be disinterested in all of these things!
But I can promise to respect you, your views, your life, your approach, -- You.
And I would very much be interested in talking, but some limitations may apply because of certain limiting situational factors that concern me.

Sorry if this sounds like some kinda EULA lol
BTW, I'm not grammar nazi & tbh I don't care about grammar that much at all,
but you should have spelled English with a capital letter there (or atleast Google says so). Correct me if Im wrong.

All the best!

PS:
I don't even know if I have anything from the Autism Spectrum. Even the diagnosis from my username had a question mark next to it when I was given it. There's more I could say.. xP

I relate to what you said about being lonely & feeling like your speaking different languages. I never had many friends & I never had a close relationship with my parents cuz they never understood & were critical of my Aspie quirks & other disabilities I have even thou they were aware of my Aspergers sense I was a toddler. I never really felt like anyone truly understood me except for my current girlfriend & my two exes. My current & 2nd are on the spectrum & my 1st had dyslexia, sever ADHD & alittle OCD & I have those things as well.
I don't have any online friends at the moment but I've had friends from this forum & other forums I've used in the past. I wouldn't mind having more online friends so you or anyone else is Welcome to PM me. You don't need to worry about grammar with me cuz mine isn't the best due to my dyslexia. I'm not sure what my IQ is but I don't feel like I'm that smart even thou some tell me I am cuz of struggling in school aLOT partly due to my dyslexia.