giving up "active" socializing

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After several protracted attempts to be a "part of everything" and, fuelled by a Fear Of Missing Out, trying to compensate for years of not socializing/networking the "right way" by finally trying to do so, I've decided to throw in the towel once and for all. I am simply not comfortable socializing for its own sake, I never really have been and, at my age, I should just accept that I never will be. It was probably far too late to start actively trying anyway, seeing as the "prime years" for making new friends (teens to mid-twenties) are apparently well behind me...

From now on, I'm going to need more of a reason to socialize. If it's to exchange ideas about something important and/or interesting, to achieve a goal, or to obtain information, that would be my sole "reason" for doing so. Even then, I'd exhaust all other options, such as communicating online.

I'm just sick of trying to be something I'm not. I don't even fit in within the local autistic groups, I knew I wouldn't but attempted to do so a couple of times anyway. I literally don't fit in anywhere.

Ironically, my fear of missing out has led me to neglect things which I could've been doing instead. Things which actually interest me. Now these things have atrophied and I'm no further ahead in making new connections, even within groups I'd have thought otherwise I'd fit right in. It just wasn't meant to be.

This is pretty much me too, now. I've had years of my life when I did actively pursue socializing, with some good and some bad results and times and memories, so I've "been there done that" and I don't feel the need to anymore.

These days there is a situation in which socializing is thrust upon me often enough that I'm already stuffed to the gills and and neither need nor want nor can handle any more. I'm getting a lot of social contact I don't ask for or even want, and it's not particularly avoidable...so...my cup is full whether I want it to be or not. I'm done with going after more.

I feel like that old you of "be a part of everything" describes my mother perfectly. for me its like having that kind of person basically on your shoulder all the time. but for me i gave up during early high school, as i just had too much hospital stuff so got pushed out of the competition for what i feel was permanently. So I just stopped trying as I saw no point. weirdly I did actually make a friend by being paired with him by a teaching assistant.


I dont know, I think society focuses on socialising too much, theres too much "you HAVE to friends and be social or your a failure" taught by parents

I realized a while back that I am not going to fit in or get along with most people, at which time I kinda gave up too. I also realized that I do get along better with certain types of people, so those are the type of people I look for now, they are very rare though. I don't put myself out there a lot though so it can be a while before I do meet someone new. It is just too exhausting to have to pretend to be something you are not so that people will accept you, who really wants to go around being fake all the time. I know a lot of people do it but for an aspie its way too draining and my integrity won't let me do it. I just wanna be me and I'd rather be alone by myself instead of feeling lonely with others.

Taking breaks is fine. I didn't bother for a long time, but if it's by choice and not because I feel pressured to "catch up", I can be more open-minded to visiting with coworkers or meeting new people. Not everyone is made to be a social butterfly.