Am I missing friendship oppurtunities?

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I fear I am missing out on friendship oppurtunities. I hate that I am alone most of the time but I fear breaking out of my shell only to be told "No." which has happened to me more than I can count.

I work at a public library and sometimes I'll talk to people but I get too scared to ask if they want to be my friend, even if they smile at me during the conversation. Are they just trying to be nice or is it something more?

I'm not even sure how to make friends. Is that how people usually get them, by saying "wanna be friends?" Sometimes I go to the library hoping to make a new friend, which is one of my goals, but I can't bring myself to approach anyone.

More than likely, they are just being nice. Do you work with anyone that you might be able to go out to lunch with for casual conversation or for a coffee? Friendships usually start with people around you - your neighbors, people you work with, people you run into while doing a hobby you like. People just smiling at you during casual run-ins are just being courteous.

That's pretty nifty. You work at a public library!

I've always wanted to work in a library.

If you're in the literature section frequently, you'll find women who are looking for classic literature. If one woman, and you, are interested in a particular author, that would be the basis to start a conversation.

Make sure you stick to the subject at hand. Don't make any allusion to how pretty she is or whatever.

That would still be weird, Mr. K. Usually when I go to the library, I want to be left alone. Plus it's a quiet place where not much talking is supposed to take place. Doesn't sound like the recipe for meeting a Hunny.

He works at the library.

A woman might ask for Jane Austen. The guy might then say how impressed he is by Jane Austen, and why. The woman might then start talking about why SHE likes Jane Austen.

This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

I agree with Kraftie, you could be missing real opportunities.
Particularly with other neurodiverse women who aren't interested in dating co-workers.
Chances are, they don't have a whole lot of opportunities to meet up with
neurodiverse men.

Not at all. Most of my co-workers are older married or divorced women who are extremely bitter. All the younger women, past and present, are either married or atleast in a long term relationship except for one who is single and has already told me she prefers ghetto men. I have been extremely unlucky in this job forming any sort of friendship.



@kraftiekortie: It's been my first and only job so far in my life. Unfortunately, most of my co-workers are bitter older married or divorced women and being one of only three males in the place is not an advantage at all.

@nurseangela: Not at this one. People who come in here constantly yack on their cellphones despite the signs that say "Please turn off your cellphones" and are very argumentative when confronted on that. I've also had patrons try to bully their way out of paying a fine or get huffy when they want to turn their items in at the front desk despite how we have a turn in box at the entrance. It is anything but quiet here.

I notice people tend to be locked in their cellphones and earphones on the college campus. I tried to say "How are you?" to a pretty girl but she kept looking at her phone and listening to her earphones.