Friend worries

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A number of friends have moved in recent years. I stay in touch, but don't have daily contact as a result.
When I started at a new college recently, I became good friends with one of my schoolmates. This is a good thing in many ways but a bad thing too because I think way too much about the following. Please offer helpful suggestions.

1. The schoolmate's life isn't perfect, but it seems to be more robust. He's married, played sports in high school, many of his other friends are in state. We share lots of common interests and have a good friendship, but often when we are outside of the things we usually do, I feel out of my element. For example, if we're watching sports and he explains a call, I feel bad for not knowing in the first place. Or if its just him and his wife, I'm fine. But if you add a second couple (my schoolmate's best friend and his girlfriend) to the mix, I begin to wonder if they are judging me for being a fifth wheel. It's not that I'm jealous, its just that I want to share more fully in different aspects of his life. I know that we will be friends despite my not knowing certain sports facts or even being a fifth wheel, but I think the friendship would be stronger (despite being very strong now) if we shared even more.

2. This picks up on the last point: When my schoolmate is around others whom he's known for longer, he becomes a different person in some ways. More crass, more prone to gossip, more prone to use profanity and make certain jokes which he typically wouldn't make around me alone. Maybe its because he assumes (correctly) that I wouldn't appreciate it. But I'm more concerned that there is a layer to his personality which I have not yet fully discovered. Obviously time helps, but it makes me uncomfortable when I see things in the schoolmate's personality that I have don't know about but others do.

3. I know that the friendship is mutual (he often initiates conversation), but I think way too much about whether he is secretly judging some of my awkward mannerisms or monotone voice or the fact that since many of my prior friends have moved, usually it is him introducing me to people in his circle rather than the other way around. Obviously, even if he is making those judgments, it is hampering our friendship other than the fact that I constantly wonder.

4. If we have a falling out because of an AS meltdown, it will likely hurt me more than to the schoolmate.

Any takers?

No doubt that I'm thankful. But my question is how do I internally address those fears, concerns, insecurities, etc. listed in the original post.

I can identify with every point of concern you have in some of my own friendships past and present. Much of it still mystifies me. However, one piece of advice that I can give is to make an effort to learn about the sport your friend is interested in. Learn the rules, the teams, the history, the most notable games and players, etc. Keep up with how the current season is developing. I made an effort to do this in order to become more relatable to some of my friends. I found that this endeavor played right into my aspie trait of desiring to collect and categorize facts and information. In doing this, I actually developed an interest in sports myself. Sharing in my friends' interest of sports has given us something else to talk about and bond over.

Also, as the_phoenix noted, the fact that your friend initiates conversation is huge indeed!

Need more comments. Super important.

What I was attempting to suggest is that
you should replace your negative thoughts
with positive ones, like gratitude.
That will help make you more confident.

You have also been given good advice by Sir Benjamin ...
that if you express interest in your friend's interest,
in this case sports,
it will make your friendship stronger.

I'll try to add a bit more, even if some of my thoughts are questions rather than answers ...

1) What kinds of things would you like to share more with your friend? Sports is one easy answer. What else?

2) Time will indeed bring more of your friend's personality to light. The good and the bad. We're all human, (even me and you and your friend) nobody's perfect ... be ready for that. And here's a question: How much crassness, gossip, and profanity are you willing to tolerate? What are your boundaries?

3) Stop secretly thinking that your good friend is judging you. Instead, start thinking about how you can show your appreciation for the friendship.

4) How much does your friend know about AS and meltdowns? Is he at all familiar?

...

Recently I've discovered that I don't even know my own brother.
I've seen him act in completely foreign ways, to me.
He a liar. He acts differently depending on who he is talking to.
To the point where I wonder if even he knows who the real version of himself is.
He harassed me for not acting the way he does.

I think it is normal for NT's to be deceptive of who they truly are.
To the point where they appear to have multiple personalities; to someone that sees them interact with different people.

You have a friend that shares common interests with you, try to keep it to that. Then you'll worry less about him judging you for other stuff. Provided you can keep the friendship going via these interests.
If you want to expand the friendship further (more social, other activities), then you need to not worry about judgement. If he's a true friend, he won't care about any eccentricities you have.

All of these comments are good. Keep them coming. Angry,Angry,Angry's was the best (except for the last paragraph because I have expanded beyond common interests). The big takeaway is that even with relatives or close friends there are going to be some things that you don't know or there may be some fights. There may even be some gossip involved. But in a way, that's okay since that's what people do and they remain friends anyway.

Please keep them coming. I need more.

Answer me!!??!??