A series of positive developments

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Usually when I post in this subforum, it is to reflect on negative factors in my social life, like my struggle to connect to or relate to other people, the deterioration of my relationship with my family, or my clumsiness in interacting with store personnel.

However, it seems that, after seemingly fruitless attempts at establishing a social life in the last 3 years, I am now making some progress.

1) A co-worker and I exchanged e-mail addresses last month. A few weeks ago his contract was terminated, but we continue to mail each other regularly, as we appear to have matching interests and are both quite introverted.

2) Two other co-workers have invited me to visit an ex-co-worker at some point next month. These are actually also two co-workers I have gotten along with like a house on fire since pretty much I started working at the job a year ago. I'm glad of the opportunity to see them outside of work, and I'm touched that they considered me.

3) Another co-worker found out that my birthday is in two weeks, and invited me to have some food and drinks on the weekend, along with another co-worker. Again, I'm very moved by this gesture.

4) Over the course of the last six months, I have been joining events organized on a meetup.com group, that is specifically geared toward introverts. The people I met there are all very cool, and I think we are potentially growing into a group of friends. My only regret is that, due to money constraints, I have been unable to join the last two events.

So that's pretty much it. I'm not quite sure how I'm doing it, but I'm slowly forming a social circle around me. That, coming on top of my finally getting an apartment of my own last June (yay, independence!) has given my life a spin for the positive, which I can only appreciate. Just wanted to let you guys know.

Good to hear, CyclopsSummers!

Yep....excellent, indeed!

Great job.

I usually look for people who are passive, and I try to be passive myself. That way the relationship lasts long without tension and conflict, and we both enjoy being friends.

yoo, thanks for the good news. it's always encouraging to see fellow introverts move forward in life, and some positivity on this forum. hopefully you might be able to use this gained knowledge in mending the relationships with your family...or at least, move on?

happy early birthday. some people see 30 as the end of youth and the beginning of real, hard adulthood, but i always believed youth is more a quality, and not a point in life. i'm turning 20 this summer, that might be a special occasion but i don't have any plans set for myself yet. have a good time.



nice. do they know why you can't make it then, at least?

Thanks for the congrats, you guys. I'm trying to identify why I appear to have successes now, where before I struggled to build a social circle. I can't put my finger on what it is that's different this time around. Frustratingly, in each case barring the Meetup group, it was someone else who made the first move, and not me. I remember two attempts in recent years when I was the one trying to initiate contact and displaying interest in a friendship, only to be rejected. However, if I reflect on the nature of my bond with the co-workers I mentioned, I did put some work in fostering the relationship and sometimes being the first to make initial conversation. So I guess that emphasizes once more that social interactions are a constant two-way stream.

Time will tell. I will be visiting my grandmother on the Saturday after my birthday, so there's that. Beyond that, I am perfectly content socializing with people outside of my family. I'd rather spend my time with kindred spirits than with next of kin who are anything but.


Thanks. I don't have that much anxiety about turning 30. I do find myself reflecting on how I've spent my twenties, but I don't feel as though I'm about to enter a new chapter in my life. As far as I'm concerned, the remnants of my youth slowly faded when I was in my early twenties.


I just told them I have 'other obligations' and didn't elaborate further. Whilst we're fond of each other's company, we haven't reached the stage yet where we worry too much about the reasons behind a member's absence during any given get-together.

well, it's great this is happening to you now, before you're much older, i think.

i remember trying to make friendships, expecting the other person would give more than they actually did, and leading myself to unhappiness. i tried to give more in an attempt to salvage it, later, but then it was clear they had moved on.



same here. my family is huge, and so are our get togethers, but i can be surrounded by them and fell still so alone. some others have the opposite effect.

i think lots of aspies find more to relate with people outside their family than in.



i'm doing the same thing now that i'm on the cusp of 20...looking back on my teens and reflecting. maybe realizing how obvious some things were, that i was blind to then. age 14 and 15 were particularly guilty.

don't feel like i'm entering a new chapter, either. just a few incremental tweaks and tune ups of the mind.



got it!

Thanks for the good news! Things are very doom and gloom on this forum lately, it seems, so it's nice to see some positivity! I'm glad you're starting to make positive changes in your life; the first step is usually the hardest!