Anyone else deal with friends like this?

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Hi:
I don't know if I had posted about this topic before but I would like to anyway.

Have any of you had friends who kept convincing you that their friends and family didn't like you though..
1. They only met you or had seen you on a few occasions
2. You don't hear from them personally but keep hearing things from this "Friend."

If so, how do you handle "Friends" like this and what would be an appropriate response?

Your so-called "friends" are too cowardly to tell you straight out that they don't like you, so they're relaying the message through this third party that you keep hearing things from, and apparently you're not taking the hint. What they're trying to tell you is that they're not interested in being friends.

The appropriate response would be to quietly move on and make new friends ... without broadcasting that you intend to do this, because it's none of their business and if you create drama, it will only make things worse ... unless you're one of those who enjoy drama.

And if you tend to get into these situations more than once, you may want to explore what it is about your social skills that can use improvement, and then work on improving (which is something we all need to do in one way or another).

Hmm not sure what the appropriate response is, but I would certainly get fed up with it if that happened to me. I'd probably ask them why they have a constant need to tell you about how other people they hang around don't like you and what they are trying to accomplish with it, also that you'd rather discuss more positive things not focus on people you barely know or don't even know and what they don't like about you without even knowing you.

Perhaps the implications that would offend them, but then again they are kind of being rude....I don't buy they think it is helpful in any way, which means it could be a manipulation technique of some kind, so I'd certainly be cautious around them.

Phoenix, that's just it. I have had friends constantly tell me that this or that the other party disliked me and have tried to back out of the friendship but have had them do everything in their power to keep their friendship with me. I wasn't planning on broadcasting who said what to me. I am simply working to pay closer attention to those cues so I can make better decisions.

Sweetleaf,
Thank you.

The question I have is, why do these friends continue to hang out with us if they don't like us in the first place? That's one inquiry that I have.

NTs don't like to hurt other people's feelings directly ... because doing so makes them feel guilty,
and because by following the rules of polite society (what they call, "sparing someone's feelings"),
it's understood by the majority as the correct way of handling uncomfortable situations.

So they try to communicate indirectly, hoping the other person will take the hint.
Aspies, of course, often require direct communication in order to understand.

The more indirect an NT becomes, the more frustrated an Aspie becomes.
The more direct (and wanting closure) an Aspie becomes, the more upset an NT will become.

A little understanding and patience on both sides
would go a long way.

The sure thing, however, I have known a few people with ASD, on the level of NLD (Non-Verbal Learning Disability) have this problem with telling others that their friends and family have a problem with them and don't want that friend around at their gatherings.