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selflessness
Snowy Owl
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29 Dec 2016, 9:46 am

At least that's what people like to say. From my experience though, I'd like to say I'm pretty good at understanding the situation others are in. When it's the other way around though, VERY rarely do people get me. Always asking why you (can't) do this or that. Why won't anyone settle with "I'm autistic" for an answer? Would they ask a blind person why he won't play cards with them? Like I have a serious neurological condition and on top of that you make life difficult for me as if I'm not trying hard enough.

Sorry just had to rant. You can say what you think/talk about your experience.



the_phoenix
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29 Dec 2016, 7:39 pm

Some people have empathy, some don't.
In our world, empathy is sorely lacking.
All each one of us can do is our best.
At least we'll know we tried.



xile123
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29 Dec 2016, 7:46 pm

I think all Autistic people have lower emotional intelligence than the general population but we're not all at the same level. I've met Autistic people that could fall into the normal range of empathy and others that truly lack it completely. Also it's true that even NTs can have an empathy deficit but their reasons are different.



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29 Dec 2016, 8:02 pm

I'm totally with you, selflessness.

And this stereotype is the one that haunts me the most.


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the_phoenix
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29 Dec 2016, 8:29 pm

xile123 wrote:
I think all Autistic people have lower emotional intelligence than the general population but we're not all at the same level. I've met Autistic people that could fall into the normal range of empathy and others that truly lack it completely. Also it's true that even NTs can have an empathy deficit but their reasons are different.


I would say that emotional intelligence is not entirely the same as empathy.
You can feel empathy, but not know how to express it.



xile123
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29 Dec 2016, 10:23 pm

the_phoenix wrote:
xile123 wrote:
I think all Autistic people have lower emotional intelligence than the general population but we're not all at the same level. I've met Autistic people that could fall into the normal range of empathy and others that truly lack it completely. Also it's true that even NTs can have an empathy deficit but their reasons are different.


I would say that emotional intelligence is not entirely the same as empathy.
You can feel empathy, but not know how to express it.


You can feel sympathy. Empathy is just how well you take on another persons perspective/imagine their thoughts/mental-states/feelings etc.



a_dork
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30 Dec 2016, 5:29 am

That has got to be one of the most repeated, yet erroneous generalizations about people on the spectrum. It's not that I can't empathize at all, but I have difficulty showing emotion in ways NTs would recognize. Identifying exactly how I feel at any point is not something that comes easily for me :(


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Butterfly88
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30 Dec 2016, 7:25 am

It's just a myth.

This is an interesting read:

THEORY FINDS THAT INDIVIDUALS WITH ASPERGER’S SYNDROME DON’T LACK EMPATHY – IN FACT IF ANYTHING THEY EMPATHIZE TOO MUCH

http://www.the-open-mind.com/theory-fin ... -too-much/

“A ground-breaking theory suggests people with autism-spectrum disorders such as Asperger’s do not lack empathy – rather, they feel others’ emotions too intensely to cope.”

I totally think this is me.



diablo
Snowy Owl
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31 Dec 2016, 3:04 pm

a_dork wrote:
That has got to be one of the most repeated, yet erroneous generalizations about people on the spectrum. It's not that I can't empathize at all, but I have difficulty showing emotion in ways NTs would recognize. Identifying exactly how I feel at any point is not something that comes easily for me :(


Agree with you on that. Enough people on the spectrum say that expressing their emotions online is much easier than in real life (and definitely in my case).


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voidnull
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01 Jan 2017, 2:47 am

We do feel empathy, but the area of the brain that deals with it is pea-sized in Aspie brains, rather than sprout-sized like in a Neurotypical. I personally find it easy to empathise if I know what led that person to feel that way and can logically step through it myself, but it's a clunky mechanism next to NTs doing it in hardware.


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AngryAngryAngry
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06 Jan 2017, 10:19 pm

Got loads of it. But can be logical about situations, which can be misconstrued.
eg. man drives drunk, ends up in wheelchair. I say he got his just deserts. Others say I'm horrible. But he could have hurt or killed others.

I think they perceive (wrongly) AS to have no empathy, from the taciturn face and monotone voice.



Joe90
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07 Jan 2017, 2:55 pm

I remember once an NT laughed heartlessly because her friend's cat died, all because she doesn't like cats. The friend got upset. I think that woman was lacking empathy in that situation because just because she hates cats it doesn't mean she should laugh at another person's misfortune of family cat dying. I don't like those little yippy dogs, in fact I hate them, but I still show love and interest if somebody shows me a picture of theirs and I feel sad for a person who's dog has died, because they loved their dog and I know that not everyone feels the same way as me.
Also I would want to see a little yippy dog hurt or killed, no matter how much I hate the sound of them.


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AngryAngryAngry
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08 Jan 2017, 4:14 am

Joe90 wrote:
I remember once an NT laughed heartlessly because her friend's cat died, all because she doesn't like cats. The friend got upset. I think that woman was lacking empathy in that situation because just because she hates cats it doesn't mean she should laugh at another person's misfortune of family cat dying. I don't like those little yippy dogs, in fact I hate them, but I still show love and interest if somebody shows me a picture of theirs and I feel sad for a person who's dog has died, because they loved their dog and I know that not everyone feels the same way as me.
Also I would want to see a little yippy dog hurt or killed, no matter how much I hate the sound of them.

Seems that person could be sociopathic, rather than NT.



DrowningOutTheDarkness
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09 Jan 2017, 2:38 pm

I have empathy but my main problem is the difference between empathy and sympathy. When fell empathy inside I will express sympathy (or nothing really at all). It does not mean I don't feel it I just have a hard time expressing it. In fact I have taken emotional intelligence quizzes online and I have scored very high. I think it's just that other can perceive it right becuse I express it a little differently.


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Zed90230
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10 Jan 2017, 8:31 pm

AngryAngryAngry wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I remember once an NT laughed heartlessly because her friend's cat died, all because she doesn't like cats. The friend got upset. I think that woman was lacking empathy in that situation because just because she hates cats it doesn't mean she should laugh at another person's misfortune of family cat dying. I don't like those little yippy dogs, in fact I hate them, but I still show love and interest if somebody shows me a picture of theirs and I feel sad for a person who's dog has died, because they loved their dog and I know that not everyone feels the same way as me.
Also I would want to see a little yippy dog hurt or killed, no matter how much I hate the sound of them.

Seems that person could be sociopathic, rather than NT.


Not sure about that... sociopaths can't love, but neither can they hate.



randomeu
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10 Jan 2017, 8:44 pm

I feel like I have selective empathy, like if a tragedy happens i usually dont feel anything. but if its my family I do usually do somewhat. pretty much not caring about most things and people. but i feel like i should. (of course i do about people on this site, as you guys are really nice so ive grown attached to you guys)


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 174 of 200
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You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


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