email from an ex friend

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Earlier today, I was cleaning out my spam folder when I stumbled upon an email from an ex-friend. Though the email had her name on it, so when I opened, I noted that my name was on a list of emails. However, her email was listed under an email for an e-card website with a link. When I opened the link, however, I got a very website with an article about Steven Hawking and smart pills.

Upon seeing that made me both sad and angry so I wrote back by setting boundaries. I said that I wasn't ready to communicate with her at this time and said our last meeting left me in tears over some things that were said and how she doesn't deserve me.


First of all, she invited me to her home for Christmas in 2013 before dropping me like a hot potato one week later at my home on New Year's Day by seeming very cold and disregarding during a New Year's gathering in my home. Why?
1. Suddenly there was a huge age difference being that she is 11 years older than I am.
2. Suddenly we had nothing in common
3. Maybe we weren't such a good fit for each other.
4. There had been a conflict going on between us for a long time.
5. If there is one thing she had learned is that people with Asperger's don't always get along.

We had met for tea a year and a half later and I had wanted to find out what had really happened. Though it started out at a strong point, it went down hill an hour later. At first, she mentioned that she felt like I kept getting mad at her every time she would turn around (Which was her side). It was only when I brought up her husband's inappropriate behavior at my 32nd birthday that she began to attack me.
She said:
a. "I am sure he didn't do it on purpose. Of course he was against us meeting like this," while trying to convince me that he dislikes me."
b. "My dad said, 'Yeah she's cute but she needs to work on herself.' (I have been very angry with behaviors a and b)
c. She also told me that the only reason why she associated with me was that she was lonely at the time and was looking for anyone to latch onto.
d. All her life she had been a people pleaser and had always been someone who she really wasn't. Therefore, she lied to me about all her interests. I thought I knew her but really, I associated with a total stranger.
e. She compared me to people who she and her husband both prefer friendwise
f. During our friendship, she kept convincing me that she loved me like a sister. When I asked her about that I got, "Oh, I was really hoping that it would work out.

Our last meeting was so bad that I left in tears and cried for a day and a half and felt angry with her for the rest of the summer in 2015.

I really don't trust her

Are you sure it was really her? I've gotten several spam emails where the name was someone in my contacts but the actual email, when I checked it, was an obvious fake spam email, like random characters for the account name, and it was definitely spam.

I had looked at the domain name and the email said her first name and then the domain name with that came from a website for ecards. The reason I know is that I went to the website and say that you can send free ecards.

Just becareful not to jump to conclusions on this one. What can happen is called ''email hijacking''. Where someone can get remote access to a users email and send spam via their email address. It happened to my fathers business account, likely due to bad security on the server end and his clients were getting viagra emails etc, that seemed to come from him when in fact it was a hijack. He had no idea and was losing clients and getting some nasty responses ... Might be worth letting her know of that as she will not likely be aware of it as it doesn't necessarily show from her account. Only way to get round this im afraid is for them to create a new email account or close the current one for a few months so the spam emails bounce back and the spammers will eventually remove that email from their hijack list... You can also check the domain and its owner through an online ''whois'' website, if they have not set the domain security to privacy it will show the name of the domains purchaser..

( you mentioned you looked at the domain name but im not too sure in what context, hence my response)

The way you described that email sounds like it was probably a spam email (ie. her email inbox got hacked and it sent out a mass email to contacts).

From how you described the friendship, it sounds like you'd do better with just ceasing any and all contact with her, and not replying if you get any more correspondence. Life and making/maintaining friendships is hard enough without that kind of complication and trauma.

Even if she did contact me again, I wouldn't be ready to speak with her after the way she acted two years ago. For one thing, she is very negative and is always bringing me down.

I don't know if I would call that Karma but rather more of a taste of her own medicine by giving her the same response that I received when she first rejected me.

Though I don't want to say anything bad about her, I will say that she's a miserable person who likes to make others feel that way along with seeming to play the victim so she can get away with being a jerk. When she first sat down two years ago she started crying. At first I thought she was apologizing that she was really making it about her.

"I just want to say that I am sorry but all my life I have feel like a pile of dog crap. Summer, I am sorry but I am not Sheldon Cooper."

What an excuse to reject me and treat me like garbage.

1) It was probably spam. Why would I say this? Because I once received an e-mail from my father ...
after he died.

2) Your ex-friend doesn't sound like she's worth thinking about at this point.

Phoenix, I have been working on letting her go and then I saw that email and thought "Oh here we go again. Will this recovery ever end?"

However, I did contact her yesterday just to let her know that I am not ready for us to communicate being that she said that mean things.

1Biggles1: She did share that she was rejected by multiple people in her life including by people in her family. Apparently, they mocked her back saying "How can you be so stupid?" She was also shamed because math, science and computers didn't make sense to her like it with with just about everyone else in her family. Finally, her family always seemed to frown upon her for not being born with a certain figure.

It might be virus from her computer sending emails without her knowledge. A friend once told me she got a weird email from me, which I didn't send at all.

That sounds exactly like a virus-based bot spammer.

I've had two friends who had their email accounts infected, and stuff was sent out that looked like it was directly from their accounts, but it wasn't them sending it.

Those, too, were advertizing stuff or taking you to some completely weird website.

It's spam. It's automated. Her email account is infected, and she probably got a bit shock reading your email about it!

She needs to report the infection to her email service; you can do the same thing, there should be a button above the email you opened. If you still have it, click the report button.

Thank you so much, everyone, because when I saw that, I was both mad and sad all over again. Yet, I didn't even think of the spam thing until you mentioned it.

@BirdinFlight- I reported it as we speak