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Joe90
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Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,022
Location: Maidstone, UK

17 Jan 2021, 3:24 pm

Yes I know this was like 10 or 11 years ago but I've recently thought about it.

I used to do voluntary work with this young woman who had 2 small children, it was in a charity shop (or thrift store), and I liked sorting through the toy donations and displaying them out on the shelves. But often kids would come in and treat the shop as a playroom, by getting the toys out of their boxes and leaving them all over the floor (then I got the blame if people tripped over the toys). I got annoyed with kids, but one day I stupidly blurted out to the woman "I'm just going to put these toys out on the shelves, for the brats."
And I think the woman took offense to me calling children "brats", because she had 2 children of her own. I didn't think she'd take offense at the time, as I didn't mean it personally, I just felt frustrated.
She got offered a job a few days later so she left, but she has not spoken to me since, if I saw her in the street. I'd say hello but she'd totally ignore me on purpose. One time I was with a friend who also had volunteered with us, and we were together and saw the young mother in the supermarket one day, and she chatted away to my friend but totally blanked me, as usual (and it was a bit awkward for me to just say sorry).

Obviously I haven't been out since last summer, but when I was out last summer (when COVID had died down) I actually saw the young woman in a supermarket and I went over to her and said hello. She did just about utter a hello, but when I was about to ask her how things were going she just said "do you want something?" I know that that is another way of saying "go away, I don't want to talk to you", so I just said "no" and awkwardly walked away.

OK, before you say that I'm wasting all my energy dwelling on that, I am not. I never think about her, but because it's rare that I ever upset anyone, I feel very uncomfortable and upset when I do, and I must have really upset her for her to still not speak to me 11 years later. If I ever do come across her again I won't bother speaking any more and it's no loss to me.

But do you see what I mean? Has anyone here ever blurted out something that someone took offense to and they still haven't gotten over it years later?


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)