How can I make female friends?

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I don't really know how to make female friends. I didn't grow up with my sisters, most of my male friends didn't have sisters, and the culture I live in conditions both genders to behave in certain ways. Most women I encounter don't share any common interests with me and the few that do either tell me "I am too busy!" or they have a boyfriend or husband who won't let them hang out with other males or I expected there would be a natural connection but it didn't go as I hoped. I am almost 30 and I feel like a loser for not knowing how to make friends. Is there hope or am I too late?

I know how you feel, I was that way about two or three months ago. For me I noticed that girls tend to like me when I say goofy things or make goofy(usually corny) jokes. That's what works for me when it comes to females.

Maybe if a girl is around you could try a joke or two!(even corny ones work!)

I don't really know how either, sometimes it just happens.

I think you should not separate potential friends in to males and females and just treat them as people; don't assume that you would need to treat someone a certain way just because they aren't the same gender as you.

As for how to make friends in general, how about trying different forums and groups in the internet? You know, ones that have a clear main topic that every member is somewhat interested in. This way you know that those people and you have something in common from the very beginning and you'll have something to talk about. Even if these people live very far away and it seems likely you will never meet them, I still think that having internet friends would be nicer than having no friends at all or just a few. At least it is for me.

Marnkis,
You can't force things on them but rather, let things flow naturally. Sometimes, you have to go into a place that you enjoy. For example, last week, I went to a Barnes and Nobel and started up a conversation with someone about some helpful biology books. Most of the time, I find that I make friends when I go somewhere and least expect it. It usually starts if you go somewhere and start looking at a video game like at the bar you go to.

Why should they be your friends if they have nothing in common with you?

A compromise some guys make is to learn activities or skills that women have an interest, rather than looking for the rare girl who has "guy type" interests.

You missed my point. My struggle in making friends is because most people in my area don't have much in common with me.



Forcing things always gives me a headache and stresses me out. Letting things happen naturally would feel more right.

What I did was try something I was only semi-interested in. In my case it was running. The way I saw it at least there are many health benefits even if I don't get any success with the ladies. I ultimately didn't get a GF out of it (that came outside of running) but I did get to spend time around a lot of women my own age. Bottom line is that I am very glad I did it and it was a valuable experience. Running a 10km race in front of cheering spectators was an incredible feeling too.

I would agree with others in that if I only hung around hockey rinks I will still be single to this day. Sure, women play and watch too but rarely if ever as a means to meet men. It's a cliché but things will work out when you least expect them to.

I have learned that connecting with other peoples comes when you least expect it like with that guy who I talked to about those books from Barnes and Nobel.

I actually met one of my now ex-friends when the mall in my city still had a Borders bookstore. We both liked manga so that's how we made the initial connection. I hoped I could've replicated that with a girl who worked at Barnes and Noble earlier this year but she turned me down.

In the last half of last year, I thought I had made a new friend at one of the now closed comic book stores in Austin. She actually let me friend her on Facebook to keep in contact with her but she never responded to me directly after that. Around that time I was also using Meet Me and there was someone who said she wanted to meet me in person but whenever I asked if the day was a good time, she kept saying she was being booked to stay at the hospital she worked at. Communication ceased after I tried to bring up something else to talk about and she said I was "random". Combined with the situation with the Austin girl and how other people on Meet Me either just ignored me or dragged their feet, I was just completely exasperated by then.

Please hear me out. I am not rejecting what you are saying because it has happened for me such as with my ex-friend. I just wonder why people are so quick to either reject or drag their feet these days even when it feels like you've made a connection with them.

Did you see my reply to your post, Summer_Twilight?

My therapist helped me come up with something to tell myself whenever the girlfriend thoughts come up. I wonder if I can do the same with basic female friendships?

like girl.

My therapist helped me come up with something to tell myself whenever the girlfriend thoughts come up. I wonder if I can do the same with basic female friendships?itemguides.com

Please don't take this the wrong way: but it's true.

Try to think of females you want to be friends with as "people," rather than "females." Talk to them like you would your male friends/acquaintances. Works for me.

I actually have few male friends/acquaintances. I work in a pre-dominantly female environment but the women in it are very bitter for the most part.