Out of the Loop

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Share experiences in this area, please.

Being kept out of the loop sucks. I have experienced that with different groups of people. I went to a very small church when I was about 18. I made every effort to get to know everyone in the group and participate in church activities. One of the guys there passed away. He was a nicer older man. I didn't even know he was dead until I saw pictures from his funeral on Facebook. I wanted to go to the guy's funeral and I was pretty upset about being left out of the loop about that. I said something about it, but I got ignored.

I have been left out of the loop on the job too. I had to figure out a lot of stuff on my own and do a great deal of eavesdropping to find things out. This year is much better though.

I felt this way with pretty much everyone including my own family. It doesn't bother me for the most part thou cuz I don't really care or pay much attention to gossip unless it may concern me. I've also been in my own head so much maybe related to my ADD that I just don't notice or hear things that most other people would & pay attention to.

Maybe the people at your church didn't know what to say but it still was wrong of them to ignore you like that. It was also rude that you were left out of the funeral.

Anyway, one of my last jobs I was left out of the loop by the owner of the company despite her having a son with severe autism. For example, there were several occasions where she would take all of the other females out to lunch except me along with seeming to make an effort to attend their special events and get them gifts. When I had a housewarming party, she shunned the invite and refused to buy me anything. The thing is, she didn't get it why I was mad at her. Hello, she is a mom of an adult with autism and I was expecting her to be more accepting and understanding when she wasn't.

A second experience:
I used to be friends with this other woman who lived with her parents because they looked at her disabilities and were very overly protective of her. She only only called me excessively but I had done everything to make her feel welcome by taking her to Disney World and everything. When she turned 30, her mom threw a surprise birthday party for her in which I was not invited to. When the friendship was over, I confronted her mom about it and was told that the party was 100 miles away.

Then I was involved in this meet-up group for fans who like the same show that I do. Things went well until the leaders let this other lady run the group who had some emotional problems. She discovered that she didn't like me because I had corrected her daughter during a ride home from one of their parties and was very rude. Since then, she started excluding me from any of their meet-ups.

I've made it abundantly clear that I am not to be left out of the loop when it comes to stuff on the job. I also have no problem busting into clusters of people huddled together.

[Deleted] Ignore what I said, I thought out of the loop meant something else.

One time I was left out of the loop was when my parents decided to buy me a house because they were extremely upset about me still living with them in my mid 20s. I had no clue they were doing it till we went see a place & the only reason I was even there when we saw it was because we were out anyway & it was a last minute thing. I had NO say at all in the whole process & they barely told me anything till they bought the place. I tried listening to them when they they were talking about things but mom chewed me out for listening to a private conversations.

I think I get the initiative on that
1. Yes, it was wrong of them to leave you out of an important conversation being that parents need to be encouraging by letting you know that they have noticed that you have grown up.
2. On the other hand, it sounds like they were trying to surprise you with a house but didn't handle the situation very well?

I really don't think they were trying to surprise me. It was something mom made up her mind to do cuz she was p!ssed off about me still living with her & dad & she didn't care what my opinion or wants were.

I am really sorry they did that to you because it sounds really rude. However, it also sounds like they did you a huge favor by getting you away from them so you can have your own space to breathe.

It would of been if things had actually worked out. The place needed alot of fixing up which my dad was supposed to do, he works in construction as a carpenter. He fixed up one bedroom & then my parents decided to let me aunt move in cuz she was staying at my grandparents(long story) & the plan was to have me move in 1ce things were finished. There's NO way I would of wanted to move in with my aunt but my dad never got around to doing anymore work on the place. He starts lots of projects at home & doesn't get around to finishing them all or takes him years between things. I ended up meeting a girl on this forum & moved in with her 6 years ago. She's disabled too & has a Section 8 housing voucher. My parents ended up selling the place to my aunt last year for what it cost them & the work that was done on it but they didn't make a profit or anything.