Acquaintance zone

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I have only a couple of good childhood friends that live far away. It has been hard to make other friends in my area. I am always stuck in the acquaintance zone and I can never seem to move beyond that with anyone. Do any of you have this problem?

Yes I have. It's really not that bad for people to see you only as an acquaintance. There are more reasons beyond just not being accepted that someone sees you as an acquaintance. There are no bad reasons either.

Zach, what reasons would people have to see me as just an acquaintance?

I was told by an acquaintance that she had too many friends.

I think it sucks!

Yes, I have had a lot of trouble making friends in real life. When I was younger it wasn't so much of a problem, but as I got older I found that most people already had friends and few people wanted to move past the level of acquaintance with me.

Most people in my town have an extensive history with each other and they never let you forget it. The great thing about my two friends that moved away is they didn't have extensive histories with everyone in my area because they weren't from my area. They moved to my area when they were kids like I did.

That's how it is where I work. All the substitute teachers are related to someone on staff. They are completely vacuous as they play on their smartphones or draw and interrupt learning time. I'm an instructional assistant in Ex Ed class. It's laughable how they charm themselves into the graces of administration.

I haven't managed to make any particularly close friends since meeting my now-BFF back in 2010. Even the few people I got really close with in university are buddies to me at best. Not mere acquaintances, but not quite friends either - but in the gray area between. I don't mind it, though. I've always put quality before quantity anyway when it comes to making friends.

On the other hand, I do crave deep conversations, and there aren't many people in my life with whom I find myself able to converse in such a manner. The only other person next to my BFF that I can actually have those conversations with is a female colleague I've gotten acquainted with recently. But I feel as though we speak the same language - in more ways than one. And that in and of itself is an immense help.

It's hard to find people to have a deep conversation with. Most people are shallow and fake it seems.

Yes i have this problem too. My childhood friends are just acquintances now and most people i've recently met didn't keep in touch. I guess i'm just someone people just forget..

Ouch.

Oh well, she wasn't right for you to begin with and perhaps not worthy of your time.

Yes yes yes. Very puzzling. I wish an NT would advise or host a seminar. Lol! but really.

More frustrating still is making all the effort to do the kind, outgoing, friend-making things and it feels like it's going so well - then watching as all your potential friends develop deeper relationships with EACHOTHER instead, right before your eyes, while you yet again end up stuck on the outside wondering how the heck they did it.

This. This right here. Nothing comes close to the pain of having this happen.

That happens to me all the time but I have learned a few things from talking with a mentor. She told me that there isn't something wrong with us, there is something wrong with them. My mentor is a very understanding and caring NT and she said that she had experienced some of the same setbacks.

Now regards to people to seem to get along with us but seem to form close bonds when someone else comes along, there could be some nuances that we don't see.
1. They might have more in common
2. They may require someone of a certain personality like an introvert
3. Perhaps you are giving off signals and body language that are turning them off. For instance, if you turn your body away, they may think you aren't interested in them. Other ones that are a turn off are things like proximal or personal space or even lots of details.
4. They could be in a different point in their lives than you - For instance: They could have children, they could have other similar interests that don't make sense to you.

This happened to me recently at a job that I managed to hold onto for almost a year. I thought we were becoming pretty good friends, I even asked if we were friends and she said yes. I was thrilled she was being so nice to me, but after I was fired I never heard from her again, even though I left her my number.