Don't lick your plate clean!

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When one of my younger brothers (an adult attending college) eats meals with the rest of the family, he has a tendency to bend forward and lick stuff off his plate instead of using his utensils to get every last bit of food; I personally consider that one step below lifting the plate off the table before licking it. Similarly, he sometimes bends forward to dab his face with his napkin instead of bringing the napkin to his face. Any thoughts on how to help my sibling kick these nasty habits?

Bad table manners.....

Tell him that people like it more when he uses silverware, and that licking the plate bothers them.

Hmmm....Since I myself lick my plate clean at times, I don't know what to say...Then again, I'm usually alone when I do it... -shrugs-

Ask him if he is a dog. it might get him thinking. Or not.

Well you don't have to get 'every last bit' I certainly don't lick my plate and I also don't meticulously scrape every last crumb off with my silver-wear either...but yeah no one wants to see someone licking a plate while they are eating that would gross me out a bit and I am not really grossed out too easily.

Also I don't see why someone would lower their head to the table to wipe their face on a napkin, I mean does he not have arms? does he like just dab his face on the napkin real quick, or like wipe his face around on the napkin on the table. Just trying to figure if we are dealing a person who periodically pecks the table like a chicken, or sticks their head down to rub noses with the napkin.

I mean if that is what he wants to do guess you can't really make him change. But you could certainly try and explain why those things are well 'offputting' at the table licking your plate is gross and not picking up the napkin but lowering your face to it isn't effective or something like that, but don't know if it would help. But yeah I am with you that those are not good habits to have. I mean what if he went out to eat with some classmates, or even went on a date and did those things.... don't think that would help him make a good impression at all.

If he'd do so on a date also he likely lacks social awareness. Then maybe, someone should try to explain to him why people don't like it. If eating like that is just easier for him or more comfortable and he simply doesn't care what his family thinks, he knows better than to eat like that on a date.

Besides, the OP makes a lot of threads about the behavior of other people and how to police it. Some of the things don't seem that awful.

I mean he could be doing it just to bother his family...and doesn't do that in social settings.

But I guess my concern is if he like legitimately does not have any clue that those 'habits' could gross people out. I mean what would you think if you're having a meal with friends or family and the person next to you suddenly sticks their head down on the table to rub their face around in the napkin like right next to your napkin/silverware.

From what the OP wrote I honestly have no idea if the brother is being gross all the time while he eats or once or twice each meal. If he eats as if he has no arms, doing everything only with his mouth, that would be weird. I think either extreme of table manners is not preferable - neither being overly gross, nor policing everything other people do. If someone complains if I'm holding a fork in the wrong hand or at the wrong angle or something, I'm like 'Don't like it? Fine. Look into another direction.' But if someone actually makes people sitting next to them dirty with their food that's obviously worse.

What North Wind said sounds like how I feel

while table manners serve a function, appears arrogant to go around correcting someone else

Lonely Jar might not practice perfect table manners either

Tolerance

someone had the nerve to tell me "use a fork next time".

Someone had the nerve to tell me "you eat like a pig"

Someone had the nerve to tell me "you bit the sticker off the apple"

Someone had the nerve to tell me "you wiped your mouth on your sleeve"

Someone had the nerve to tell me "what, they don't have food in your country?"

While I was eating sweet potatoes on the bus, someone had the nerve to look me up and down and shake her head in disgust

Actually though I am 34 and not in work or school

Almost always when I eat I am alone or only strangers can look or see me

Sick and tired of someone acting like they have a duty to rectify my eating habits

Micromanager of the Year

Likewise if someone has the nerve to tell me that he or she cares about me, I would fathom a baseline amount of acceptance and tolerance is necessary to make that statement

So what, she, he, and they did not like it the way I ate?

Maybe "people" also do not "like" it when I continue living. Then what?

Likewise when someone eats in a way I do not like I do not feel morally entitled to correct them

The other thing is that the word "people" literally means two or more. But it sounds like ""people" means everyone in the world except myself. It sounds like the speaker represents "people". It sounds like the speaker is implying that I ain't no "person"

It sounds like the speaker overpowers me because the speaker outnumbers me

But there is only one of the speaker. There is only one of me

The world contains more defendants convicted of rape, than Nobel Peace prize winners.

It doesn't necessarily follow that the activity with more participants is morally superior and justified

As a minority (autistic, transgender etcetera). And I got six out of ten personality disorders.
It particularly the seems insulting to hear a speaker refer himself or herself as "we", "people" or "most people"

My flatmate licks her plate clean sometimes. But only at home. At times I've joked that the plate is so clean that I can just put it away without washing it first.

LonelyJar, maybe he can get a piece of bread to wipe up what's left on his plate.

My parents used to criticize me alot about the way I ate & it got so bad that I started only eating when I would be the only one in the kitchen or when eating out. Even thou I was very hungry I would wait hours sometimes to go in the kitchen cuz mom was washing dishes after her & dad ate & doing other stuff in there. It's one thing to correct someone's table manners afew times but it's another to sit there & complain & insult them every time.

I did it ever since I was little. I only do it around my family though. They critiscize me a bit for it buts its just been something i have always done. I have never done this in front of anyone else though.