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xxautisticfoolxx
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13 Jan 2018, 12:02 pm

I am incredibly frustrated with life. I posted here a long time ago. Things have got worse since then. I don't know why making friends and mixing with people has to be so god damn hard for me. My family isn't so supportive either and they want me to get straight A's despite my mental health. No matter how many times I tell them I have autism they laugh it off and expect me to get a very well paying job one day. Because of my extreme depression I can't no longer enjoy anything or concentrate on studying. My parents will kill me if they see my grades. I have been hiding my grade sheet from them. They expect me to get a job after graduation. I am starting to think that they are retarded. Don't they see how I can't talk to people and don't understand society? How the f**k am I going to get a job like this? I never had a friend and everyone hates me. I can't even count how many timss I have been bullied. I am too naive and everyone makes fun of me.

I think people like me are just supposed to kill themselves. Thanks to my autistic brain, I am at a level of pain that most people won't experience. I stay up nights crying I don't know what the f**k to do anymore. Everyone is so f*****g mean and rude towards me. Every time I am in a social situation I go in a fight or flight mode as I am certain that they will try to bully me.



smudgedhorizon
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13 Jan 2018, 1:12 pm

I highly suggest you to ask your doctor to prescribe you painkillers. How are you supposed to get high grades if you are constantly in pain?

I think you can have a job. You are in college, right? If you were able to enter college, then you are at least not stupid and can have some sort of job. Please PM me and I will tell you about autistic people I know.
Please don't read depressing posts on WP. There are stories of autistic success. The author of 'Neurotribes' says there was a boy that became a prodigious astronomer. And everyone had considered him stupid. And he was profoundly autistic. NTs often presume autistics are stupid because they behave childishly. NTs want to coddle you and speak to you as if you were a little kid.

I think autistics rarely become rich and not finding a job is commonplace, but imo autistics come to this world to make art, do science and answer the most important questions of the world (mission of non-typical people), not merely indulge in carnal activities, fight and earn money (the NT mission).


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kraftiekortie
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13 Jan 2018, 4:41 pm

What are your "special interests?" What is your major in college?

I'm sorry you're going through all this pain. It really seems like your parents don't understand you.

I happen to know that a 2.0 overall GPA is good enough to graduate. You might have to get something like a 2.5 in your major....but maybe not.

Employers usually don't give two craps about your GPA: all they care about, usually, is you having your degree. I haven't really benefitted from my 3.8 GPA.

I have a nephew who totally failed college at first, and got expelled. He managed to go to another college and graduate with under a 3.0. He never really was into school. He's got a nice, cushy job now.



xxautisticfoolxx
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 6 Mar 2016
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Posts: 52

14 Jan 2018, 5:19 am

smudgedhorizon wrote:
I highly suggest you to ask your doctor to prescribe you painkillers. How are you supposed to get high grades if you are constantly in pain?

I think you can have a job. You are in college, right? If you were able to enter college, then you are at least not stupid and can have some sort of job. Please PM me and I will tell you about autistic people I know.
Please don't read depressing posts on WP. There are stories of autistic success. The author of 'Neurotribes' says there was a boy that became a prodigious astronomer. And everyone had considered him stupid. And he was profoundly autistic. NTs often presume autistics are stupid because they behave childishly. NTs want to coddle you and speak to you as if you were a little kid.

I think autistics rarely become rich and not finding a job is commonplace, but imo autistics come to this world to make art, do science and answer the most important questions of the world (mission of non-typical people), not merely indulge in carnal activities, fight and earn money (the NT mission).


My pain is mental, not physical. I have flashbacks of a few very embarrassing bullying situations once in a while and it leaves me upset and stressed. Then there is a constant nagging voice in my head- "you are too stupid to do well in life" and "if you can't even stand up to a few bullies, how are you going to be successful in life?"

Even if I can get a low paying job, I will be bullied there too. People will take advantage of my simplicity and make me do all their work and pay me s**t.

Your comment speaks absolute wisdom. It really makes sense how NT's are meant to rule the world and autistic guys like me are supposed to be their slaves. Ah, life is so awesome :evil: :evil: :evil:



xxautisticfoolxx
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 6 Mar 2016
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Posts: 52

14 Jan 2018, 5:32 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
What are your "special interests?" What is your major in college?

I'm sorry you're going through all this pain. It really seems like your parents don't understand you.

I happen to know that a 2.0 overall GPA is good enough to graduate. You might have to get something like a 2.5 in your major....but maybe not.

Employers usually don't give two craps about your GPA: all they care about, usually, is you having your degree. I haven't really benefitted from my 3.8 GPA.

I have a nephew who totally failed college at first, and got expelled. He managed to go to another college and graduate with under a 3.0. He never really was into school. He's got a nice, cushy job now.


My special interest is working on electrical circuits and building stuff. My major is on electrical engineering.

My cgpa was getting better but I had a nasty incident with a few guys in my group project a few semesters back. They ganged up on me in order to satisfy their need for fun :evil: I contributed to that project more than anyone else but they saw how childish my behavior is and then started treating me like crap. When I tried to stop them things got out of control and they started an argument with me and I lost. I was very angry for being so helpless. I failed that course and did bad in some other courses because of my mental condition. Now I am left with a bad cgpa.

I am sure I can get my gpa up with time but my parents want perfection. They are in horrible financial condition and they need their son to be rich. They think just good grades can give a person success. Only if they understood how wrong they are.

I just want to be able to stand up to bullies. I am going to be 22 this year and I want to see at least some improvement in my personality so that people won't mess around with me. Sadly that won't happen. I will always be a loser.



hale_bopp
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14 Jan 2018, 5:40 am

I’m so sorry, dude. Hope you’re okay. It’s a pity about your parents.

I can’t offer any ideas but I just wanted to wish you well in coping with this.



xxautisticfoolxx
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 6 Mar 2016
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Posts: 52

14 Jan 2018, 1:54 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I’m so sorry, dude. Hope you’re okay. It’s a pity about your parents.

I can’t offer any ideas but I just wanted to wish you well in coping with this.


Thanks. Hope is all I have left. If that runs out too, I am just gonna snap.

If I had those super powers that some autistic people have like programming skills or stuff like that then my life would be set. Too bad my autism is only focused on me being an awkward stupid guy. I wish I had some talents to compensate for my autism.



hale_bopp
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14 Jan 2018, 2:09 pm

xxautisticfoolxx wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I’m so sorry, dude. Hope you’re okay. It’s a pity about your parents.

I can’t offer any ideas but I just wanted to wish you well in coping with this.


Thanks. Hope is all I have left. If that runs out too, I am just gonna snap.

If I had those super powers that some autistic people have like programming skills or stuff like that then my life would be set. Too bad my autism is only focused on me being an awkward stupid guy. I wish I had some talents to compensate for my autism.


I’m the same. No super power. You are good enough as you are, but I understand it’s really hard to see that when other people don’t. Best of luck with sorting out your grade situation. Although your parents sound like they need to be educated on autism. Have you thought about getting an official diagnosis?