How to know when people mean what they say?

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I moved to a new country which has very different cultural and social norms. I am somewhat well socialized and know how not to be awkward. People here are often telling me that they really like me out of the blue but I don't know whether or not they are telling the truth. Are there signs that people give off when they are being sincere when they give a compliment?

Where are you from?

Canadians have a stereotype of being “nice” people. Generally I can pick a superficial person from a non superficial one, but it’s hard to say how you know. Vibes, I guess.

There have been times my judgement has been completely thrown by someone’s behaviour, but when I was younger, I was looking, but not seeing. Now that I look back, I should have been wary of those people all along.

What a great question! Yes, I think you can tell fairly easily. If the people who say they like you do not know each other (random occurrences), its probably safe to say that it is genuine. Consistencies in random occurrences like this are fairly safe to draw conclusions from in my experience. Why not take the risk and choose to use these situations to build your confidence? you're doing something right! Go with it! Learn from it!

I realized that I used to be very naive about people and always took their words literally so I don't have much experience with understanding the deeper meaning. As I realized my errors I became extremely paranoid which doesn't helpas i automatically believe in the worst case scenario.

If they don't know you well and say they like you be wary.

That sounds a lot like me when i was younger. I still do it today on occasion, and it can cause major issues. Its hard to force yourself to believe something you naturally dont want to believe, but it is possible. Ive learned to do this over time, and it has helped me build relationships. You will still question if you are doing the right thing constantly, but it will get better. Youll eventually learn how to tell if people are sincere most of the time. It takes a lot of effort, so dont give up. Learn from your failures. I read a book called how to win friends and influence people which helped me understand how to behave to attract good people in my life, by being a better person. Now i just have to worry about being a little eccentric or overly excited from time to time. Its better than being stuck in a viscious negative paranoid cycle. Again, its going to take a lot of practice so dont give up. Good luck!

People can say they like me all they want, but I judge people by their actions rather than their words.

Right as words don't mean jack to me.

So when you say actions what do you mean?

Example:

Someone might say they like you but never ask you to do things, won't add you to Facebook etc.
An action simply refers to the way someone acts towards you as opposed to what they say to you. I tend to judge people on their actions mainly. words can be bad or good, but they aren't as in depth or accurate as a person's actions.

Is there a surefire way to know whether somebody is being truthful when they say something, or if they’re just trying to spare you your feelings?

For example, when someone says they’re busy, is there a way to determine if they really are busy, or if it’s just an excuse not to talk to someone?

If someone says they're busy it's usually an excuse, because anyone can make time for something that they want badly enough.

If someone says they're busy, ask them when they wouldn't be busy. If they tell you a time or promise to inform you as soon as they know when they have some free time that isn't booked already (and actually do it) then it's highly likely that they really were just busy. However, if they don't try to suggest a different timing or ignore your attempts to do so then it's very likely that they just don't want to be with you.

It hurts me a lot because, when done on FB, it makes me think that someone only added me as a FB friend so their number of friends would go up. In other words, I am just a number to them.

Unfortunately that’s the reality of social media. People don’t often connect with people they care about. People like to “collect people” to, like you said, boost their egos. Instead of “add friend”, it should say “Add to collection”. It’s not real. I deleted mine but added it back because I lost touch with everyone. Apart from work and family, it’s my window to the world. Which is pretty damn sad.

I got rid of people on Facebook when it was apparent they were friend collectors.