I'm Too Introverted And Boring Online

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I only have one friend, who I met online a year and a half ago, and he is the best friend I've ever had. I have never been this close to anyone outside my family, and he means a lot to me.

We text for about two hours everyday. He talks a lot about himself, and is the one who brings up topics to talk about. He has admitted that he talks about himself a lot, and has said he feels bad that I don't get to talk much. When he asks me if I have anything to talk about, I usually have trouble thinking of something, and might only ask "How was your day?", which gives me more time to think of something to talk about.

Sometimes he tells me I don't talk enough, and that he only learns things about me if it's because of something he has mentioned. This annoys him because he wants to know more about me, and wants me to be more involved with the conversation so he can connect with me more. He told me this yesterday.

I really want to fix this, and he made me promise him I would. I just don't know what to say, especially about myself. I'm a very quiet person online (in person, I can only talk to my parents and my sisters) and I'm used to listening more than talking. I always assume that if I talk about myself, even on forums, I will be boring to the other person, or I'll make it look like I love myself and think I'm interesting. I also don't want to interrupt or do anything annoying or rude - I like letting people finish what they're talking about.

Sometimes I genuinely don't know what to say. In the past, when he showed me things from his favourite video games or a story he had written, all I could think of to say was "That's good " which I know disappointed him. I would sit there and think of something better to say, but couldn't manage anything better than that. It made me seem robotic. Since then, I have gotten a bit better, but still don't say as much as I should. He worries that I'm scared to share my opinions, or that I feel nervous around him.

In the last few months, we had been very close, but that changed suddenly at the start of this month, and I seem to annoy him easily now, even over small things. It has been almost a month since he has told me that I'm his best friend, which was something he used to tell me often, and it is now hard for me to believe that I ever was. It meant a lot to me that I was his best friend, and I wish that I still am. I have been very sad lately that I might not be, and I always feel like I'll never be as good as one of his other online friends, who he has an obsession with but doesn't talk to much anymore.

Everyone else seems much more interesting than me, and I feel like I'm only a boring, stupid rock. Does anyone know what I can do, and what I could try talking about? I have been trying to do more in my day so I'll have more to talk about, but even that hasn't helped much.

Thank you for reading this.

You’ve done pretty well in this thread.

Some people are listners, not talkers.

But if you find you want that balance, you can practice here. Also following the news generally gives you something to fall back on that’s not the weather.

Tell me about your life, some interesting childhood memories. What do you enjoy doing now as an adult?

I feel boring too, so I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about things to say.

A good goal might be google something every day history wise. For example, the Watergate scandal, famous art pieces, historic crimes etc to build up that bank of knowledge.

You aren’t annoying or rude by participating. It’s your right to and people won’t judge.

I tend to talk too much, and not listen enough.

If you can have a two-hours straight conversation online, you're doing pretty good.

You can prepare some questions for him. For me is better ask something than speak about myself.
You can start play some online game with him. This would solve the problem what to talk with him about - about the game. And in game is no need to talk so much. I've been playing for several years World of Warcraft and had friends in game.

I've got friends who I mainly listen to. It doesn't feel like a bad thing to me! Sounds like you're a good listener, but need to be "drawn out" a bit to talk about yourself. Maybe he needs to ask more questions, but doesn't know what to ask. Maybe send a one-off message that lists several things that are usually going on in your life. No matter how boring they may seem to you, they can be a conversation starter for someone else. (I mentioned my obsession with spotting wild rabbits to a couple of people, and now I get asked for updates! Did not expect that.) Let him know he can always ask about those topics.

I’m also a listener. I like to think of English as my second language. My first language is just being. Talk is cheap. I used to seek out talkers, but now prefer silence In my opinion you don’t need fixing, just self-acceptance. I’m biased though

I also need to work on my self-acceptance about my selective mutism, that’s why your post resonated with me. I see myself in you.

I agree with the advice of finding a game to play together. I also don't know what to do with or say to people when there isn't something specific going on. A game or activity or project would give you something to communicate about.