Am I even meant to have friends?

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People always leave my life for various reasons and trying to reconnect with them is usually impossible; I am either told by them they just don't have time anymore or to "f**k off". I am generally alone not by choice but because I either lose friends or I can't make any new ones. This makes me feel like I am not meant to have any friends and that the people who made fun of me or punched me in the face were right in telling me I was a loser. I feel like this will be my reality until I finally exit.

Have you considered taking night classes finding fun activities on meetup.com or joining a church with social events? Best way to make friends is through an activity you enjoy.

I've done college night classes and they were no different than day time ones. Meet Up has been disappointing for me and even the Unitarian fellowship has been underwhelming for me.

Try volunteering?

I don't think it would change anything.

No, I mean, to find friends. And volunteers actually changes a lot.
It's your depression talking. Try volunteering, you can quit if you don't like it later.

Why volunteering? Well, you can meet like-minded people.

By night classes I mean like at a ballroom dance, yoga or martial arts studio. Community college classes, unless you're taking something acting or swimming are the worst because you're sitting at a desk and everyone goes home afterwards.

Toast master's is perfect since many people there are immigrants or aspies looking to improve their social skills/English.

PLEASE DONT LOOK FOR RELIGION

Religion when you're vulnerable can lead to some BAD results. If you're going to join a religion it SHOULD NOT BE TO MAKE FRIENDS!

Ballroom dance: Tried three times and it was an old woman lodge.

Yoga: Tried one a few times and it was the same as ballroom dancing.

Martial arts studio: They aren't considered "cool" in my area and I don't have the money to afford going to one.

Toast masters: Again, not "cool" in my area and I couldn't find one that didn't clash with my schedule.

You need to get out of your area! Small-town Texas is not an a good environment for people like us. Austin or even Houston would be a huge improvement. Another country might be even better.