Has anyone ever been in this situation?
Here's the story. I recently became friends with this person, who happens to be best friends with another person. My situation is that I feel like it is almost impossible to increase my friendship with the person I am now friends with if I do not put any effort into a friendship with the other person. Below is a scenario to further explain my case.
I have been good friends with Harry Potter for some time. However, I am not really friends with Hermione or Ron. In that case, I feel like there is no chance at all of being best friends with Harry Potter himself unless I put an effort into a friendship with Hermione and/or Ron. Let's say Harry thinks I am a nice person. I feel like if I try befriending Hermione and Ron, then they might say good things about me to Harry, which may ultimately boost my friendship with Harry.
Back to this question, has anyone actually been into this situation? Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!
No, you don't need to be friends with your friend's friends. Be nice to them when you interact, ask them questions, listen and be open when they ask you questions. But no, you don't need to pursue a friendship with them. If that's how friendship worked then everyone in the world would be in one big friendship circle.
What I'm saying is that there is a difference between being friendly and being friends. Be friendly, but only pursue a friendship where you actually want to be friends.
Yes, I have been in that situation. At university I was best friends with Harry... Harry was also best friends with Ron. Me and Ron didn't get on at all. When three of us went out we both spoke to Harry, but not to each other. Awkward awkward awkward. I didn't make any attempt to get on with Ron, we were just so different... and it didn't bother me. We were all motivated not to go out as a threesome, especially Harry, who was stuck in the middle. Eventually, Harry mostly went out with me, because I was more fun (Ron was very serious) and Harry could always beat me at pool. Then I met Hermione and I just went out with her, so Harry was back to going out with serious Ron.
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Steve J
Unkind tongue, right ill hast thou me rendered
For such desert to do me wreak and shame
I find three way friendships challenging because I always seem to get left out and feel like a third wheel. I will use the Harry Potter example you guys are using. I am out somewhere with Harry and Hermione. Hermione wants to keep Harry all to herself. She dominates the conversations and doesn't make me feel included. Hermione likes to make plans with Harry and not include me. I have known Hermione a lot longer than Harry has so I can see through Hermione's crap. I know that Hermione is using Harry for gossip about our boss. Hermione used to work with Harry and me. Hermione is also tight with Ron. Ron and Hermione text each other all the time. Neither will text me ever. Ron and Hermione pretty much ignore me when other people are around. Hermione's mother thinks that Harry, Ron, Hermione, and I are all good friends. I think not because I always get left out.
I find it is easier when I have friends that don't know each other. I don't like being the third wheel and feeling left out. I don't like to be used either.
