Recognising boundaries.

Post Reply New Topic

Hey, I'd like to hear some experiences from you guys about recognising boundaries with other people. Do you tend to be so withdrawn that you don't even get the chance to overstep "the line" or are you more outgoing and test how far you can go or just do what you want to and don't see that it's too far for another person? Or maybe both?

For me, it depends on the person. Either I'm really shy and try not to "step on other people's feet", but then sometimes if I like a person I can get really annoying (at least I think that's how they might feel) up to the point of texting at inappropriate times (4am) or texting them too much. It's really hard to stop though because in the moment I don't see that I'm crossing a line and it can end up ruining friendships or whatever. I have a hard time respecting privacy (but not because I don't care, but because I don't see where society or people draw the line).
Does anyone of you do that too? Is it an autistic thing or more of a BPD thing?

In my case it depends if it's real or virtual life. In real life I'm withdrawn, and there's a bigger chance for any feedback, so it's not that bad. On the internet it's much harder, originally I'm nonverbal, but my childhood wasn't too normal, so I've acquired a lot of bad habits, also I don't feel like I'm talking with real people, so I probably cross a line quite often, it's even worse without feedback, when I'm uncertain my brain has tendency to switch off. I'm starting therapy so maybe it will change for the better.

Interesting point. Especially the feedback part, as I always thought that people tend to be a bit more open, direct and outgoing on the internet rather than in real life because the anonymity gives them a sense of security.
But I definitely know what you're talking about! I'm hoping to get a diagnosis and therapy soon, too.

Sorry, it deleted my post. I hope I remembered what I initially wrote.

It's more complicated. In real life you have a chance to observe them, watch the differences, if they avoid talking it usually means something is wrong, etc. and you have a chance to learn. On the internet if they don't write you have no chance to know why, they may think you're a hopeless case, or they have no time, no interest, etc. you can't see their reaction, which means no information. And one more thing: there's no anonymity on the internet


Hope it'll help you.

Oh, that kind of feedback. I thought you meant literal, verbal feedback from the person, commenting on your behaviour or whatever.

What do you mean by "there is no anonymity on the internet"?

NT's have a tendency to lie quite often, so taking the things they say literally leads to unexpected results. It's even worse on the internet.


Everything you write stays on the internet, so it can be traced, gathered and analyzed. If you're not careful you may leave GPS data in pictures you post, if you're using windows 10 everything you do may be send to microsoft, so it can be stealed, etc.