I would go out more if it wasn't for drinking

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The people at work are talking about the company Christmas meal that has been booked in advance. I would want to go but when they all started talking about how drunk they're going to get (they meant it seriously), it put me off. Social events are tempting for me but when people start getting drunk it makes me really anxious. I don't drink, I don't care for alcohol beyond having a beer every now and again or something, but otherwise I'm not interested in getting drunk. The people I work with are nice and everything but when it comes to going out on a Saturday night they are all obsessed with the idea of getting drunk. Plus I think they're the type of people who would think there's something wrong with me just because I don't drink. To me getting drunk is considered immature. I prefer socialising with people who prefer to eat more than drink, just have a few drinks but not enough to get drunk.

So it's not that I'm unsociable, it's that I hate drunkness. I hate the way a lot of people have to be drunk at social events then wonder why they're sick the next morning. I find it pathetic, I'm not saying it is pathetic but it is to me in my opinion.

I think you should sit this one out.

People are unpredictable by nature. Drunken people ratchet the unpredictability factor up tenfold. People like you describe when drunk could single you out and pick on you at your expense but to their amusement.

I doubt your workmates would become completely "unglued", but I personally have seen horrible situations involving drunkenness in my lifetime. I have a drink on rare occasion and if I do, it's only one drink rather than multiple. And by rare occasion, I mean like six times over the course of the year. I used to collect scotch as a special interest and it sits nearly untouched which is fine with me.

I'm guessing you think it's important to fraternize with your coworkers to bond with them. In the situation you describe, I don't see how it would be a positive thing for you.

I haven't frequented bars in years but based on the experiences I've had, I'm like you in that I'm very uncomfortable around drunk people. Maybe for different reasons than you are. Drunkenness is really an artificially induced psychosis. As a male, I'm on high alert if I encounter a drunk man the same way I would be if I encountered an obviously psychotic person. The definition of being unpredictable; and, anything can happen. Not cool at all.

Oh, and I don't know if you picked your screen name based on the old supermarionation Gerry Anderson TV show Joe 90, but I think that show is great. it would be awesome to transfer someone else's experiences and knowledge into your own brain by way of a machine.,,

It sometimes makes me feel like I'm being unsociable if I say no to social events, but I really cannot cope with people getting drunk. That's all some people seem to think about. I've never been a drinker. The only alcohol I can drink is beer because it doesn't make me thirsty, but I don't drink enough to get drunk. Any other alcohol I try makes me thirsty, and I end up glugging down an entire glass like it's juice, and then I get a headache. Plus I'm on Sertraline, so I shouldn't drink much strong alcohol anyway. But the two most annoying popular people at work are going, and the pair of them together wear me out at work, so they will definitely wear me out at a social event, I know it. They take over the group and always cause some sort of drama, not bad drama, but I mean like overreacting to funny things so much that it's no longer funny to me, although they still think it is. I can see the Christmas meal being a laugh with the other colleagues, but if excessive drinking is going to be involved then no thanks. And I feel embarrassed if I just quickly eat my meal and go before the drunkenness starts, because people seem to think that just because you're young you should be out for as long as possible.
If the social event was in the day, I probably would be more inclined to attend, but because it's on a Saturday night in the most busiest part of a high crime-rated town (there are lots of nightclubs around with lots of teenagers and young twentysomethings in gangs), I just feel anxious. But at the same time it makes me feel depressed that I'm missing out.

Well, yes and no. My mother used to watch the show, and she secretly nicknamed a man we both don't like 'Joe90' (he probably resembled the character), which made me laugh. So as I was signing up for WP, the name 'Joe90' was the first thing that came into my head. I wasn't actually planning on staying a member on here, I only signed up to reply to a thread here I found interesting via a Google search on something autism-related, but 8+ years and 14,000+ posts later, here I am...

You don’t have to drink.....really you don’t.

I would just say that I’m “drunk on life.”

the way people use alchohol to socialize is something i've hated for my entire life. same as smoking. they'd do smalltalks, and even work discussions, when smoking. which leaves me out and out. i dont have a solution. i'd chicken out of it, and i had, many times. they go to the bar and bond, i go home. then i am fallen out of social side of the team. cant stand it, never could stand it. it happens all the time. and then they are angry somebody did not start smoking to bond. did not fit in the team. ya. sorry for ranting, this is a sore spot. maybe go there, be there while people are sober, then invent some wild excuse to leave? oh, i forgot, i have a cat in my oven? also, they really might not going to stone it. they might be making a collective joke, and actually not going to be stone drunk? cant gauge, not knowing them. sorry for incoherence.

I'm the opposite. I wouldn't go out at all if it weren't for drinking.

1. I relaxes me and lessons my social anxiety.
2. It occupies my hands.
3. It makes other people more willing to start a conversation with me, since I'm awful at making the first move.
4. People seem to be less surprised if I say something weird, probably putting it down to the alcohol.

On the other hand, I'd rather not drink with a big group of co-workers.

They definitely are going to drink. I was deciding whether I should go, and I asked one of the girls what it'd be like, and she said they will be drinking because they like that sort of thing, and I think it'd be too daunting for me as a non-drinker. I do feel like I've alienated myself though. If alcohol was never invented I would always be out socialising. It's people getting drunk around me which makes me anxious. It's different if I go into a small pub where there are just older people who are regulars drinking beer but not really getting drunk, but going out with young people who are willing to get drunk in a rather busy place with lots of other young people drinking does make me feel like hiding away.

Why is life so unfair? Why does alcohol have to exist? Why do people like getting rat-arsed so much? I understand some people like to have a few drinks to relax, but when people just drink one after the other and end up so drunk they don't know what they're doing and then complain each time they wake up with a hangover, I find very stupid. I just don't understand it.

i dont understand getting intoxicated in any way either. but well, asking why the world has to be this way is emm, not very productive. yes, its annoying and annoying. but u cant change it, and u have to chose. life isnt about being fair, sorry to say it. u really cant blame the substance. its just what many humans do, mess themselves up. countless substances for it. and outlawing them isnt an option, too. ppl will just break the law to get intoxicated. for real. however disgusting it is. people have invented it, and many others. for the purpose of getting intoxicated out of their mind. the fact, that its considered normal teambuilding, well, i had allready pointed out my own problem with it, right? but u cant change it. sadly. its a really global issue.

I don't like being around people who drink or get high on drugs either.

That seems to be what all the "adults" do when they get together to celebrate or have fun. Me I'm happy going out to eat or finding a cool place to visit like a museum or historic landmark. Or even just going to the beach or the woods.

I admit I don't like doing things by myself though.

a good book/film/game for me please)

Sounds good to me too.

Sorry, I just keep feeling sorry for myself. There's this popular girl at work who makes friends so quickly and so many guys fancy her, and she is always invited out with some of the guys at work. They all love drinking, and I know I'm not invited because they know I don't drink. I'd never thought drinking could dictate how well you fit in. You could say I don't need to get emotionally involved in what they're doing, but it's not as easy as that because this popular girl at work has now got all friendly with a girl who me and my boyfriend knew way before she did (the girl (let's call her girl B) doesn't work where we work, but they met at a bar and now she also gets invited out with the popular girl and the guys). My boyfriend likes to go out for a few drinks with his friends occasionally, and they all know girl B and she has had a drink with them before. So if my boyfriend goes out again I have a feeling that girl B and the people I work with will join them and my boyfriend will become more involved with my own workmates than what I am. See, and it's all down to drinking, and people wonder why I want to shoot myself for not being a drinker.
I can't believe how so many people base their social lives around getting drunk. One time I was at a wedding and when we first got there they were selling orange juice. A lot of the younger people scoffed and said "I ain't wasting my money on orange juice!" which, in other words meant "I want to spend all the money I have today on alcohol for later!"

I f*****g hate this society. I never knew adulthood meant "drink otherwise you won't fit in". The only way to hang out with people that don't drink is to become a certain religion like Jehovah's Witness, but to actually become one of them you have to not have anything to do with Christmas at all, and I like to celebrate Christmas. I also do not believe in God at all. If there was a God, why would he give me this f*****g Asperger's c**t s**t and make me afraid of getting drunk? Why would he give cancer to a good person like my mum? Nope, there is no God.

If it wasn't for alcohol and the obsession the majority of humans have with it, I wouldn't be this isolated. I am so f*****g depressed. I want to be neurotypical. I don't think neurotypicals think much about drinking, they just do it and think it's great. Some even get so drunk they end up arrested or badly hurt, and it STILL doesn't put them off for life! Yet other things DO put them off, like going on a rollercoaster that broke down before or something.

okay, raging and taking out ur frustration is normal, needed, necessery. want me to rage with u, or give u another calming rant?)

I too do not drink. It does stifle a lot of socializing opportunities. My solution is simple: find another place to socialize at. The last time my friends went for drinking, I went to a writing club for the first time. It was an enlightening experience.

I just find it annoying that I'm no drinker yet I find alcohol to be the bane of my life.

Even if I did join some sort of club related to a hobby, do doubt the people there would still like meeting up on Saturday nights to drink, and I'll still feel left out. Or I could just hang out with people over 40, as a lot of people realise how pathetic getting drunk really is when they get into their 40s (though not all, sadly). But I still wish I wasn't the only one at work who doesn't drink, because I'd love nothing more than be invited out with them. But they're not interested in meeting up on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon for lunch or bowling. No, it has to be at the noisiest bar in the worse part of town, getting as drunk as humanly possible.

look, i dont drink or smoke. and i had written how pissed off i am on that topic. but hey. its not that bad. yes, half a fence is built by society but half is built by u. i can socialize when people drink, as long as they dont try to make me. sorry, but i crave for that juice/soda, mmm, i so like it. politely but very end-of-topic responces. and lets be frank usually nobody gets drunk out of their skull. and people in drunk state can be perfectly coherent if they know their own dozage. just forgive them for drinking and they forgive u for not. and who doesnt, then cut off ties. dont look disgusted, dont look terrified at a sight of alchohol in somebody's glass. thats what pisses them off. i dont do it, because i dont like the taste, but im fine with u doing it. some people can hold their liquor amazingly, and be fun to be around with at that time too. u need to accept them, to be accepted. and then it magically turns out that u can be at a same table and have fun with them. somebody overtakes, well, if u dont give them a benefit of a doubt u never find out.