Celebrating birthdays?

Post Reply New Topic

I just turned 21 and had tons of people ask me "What are you doing for your birthday?" only for me to reply "Nothing", because most stuff that people expect you to do on a birthday (especially a 21st) consists of stuff I'm just not comfortable enough with to enjoy properly e.g. going to a restaurant, going to the pub/nightclub, travelling to see family etc etc.

What do you guys do to celebrate birthdays? Any advice?

I never really done much to celebrate my birthday. I go out to eat but that's cuz my girlfriend takes me & my mom would bake a cake when I lived with my parents but that's about it besides me opening presents from family. My parents don't do much for their birthdays either. My dad's bDay is the same day as mine & he's not really into doing anything & my mom's bDay is Christmas day so she never gets to do anything special that's specif for her birthday. As for as turning 21, people expect you to want to go clubbing or something like that. I'm certainly NOT into that & I didn't even drink when I turned 21 because I was straight-edge at the time. My 1st girlfriend had problems with drugs & alcohol which contributed to our breakup when I was 20 & I was sort of coping by rebelling against those things.

Nothing, nobody to celebrate with



Or should I even be "celebrating"?


Usually try and fail to forget it

I used to ask friends what they're doing for their birthday, because I wanted to be invited or help plan and I wanted them to feel like I cared. However, they would either say they didn't know or didn't care and then go and make plans with someone else, or they would say they already have plans with their family or other friend group and it wasn't something I could come to. It was awkward so I stopped asking.

Usually, I'd like to do something for my own birthday, but it seems I have no one to do anything with. Sometimes people ask what I'm doing, but not until on or after my birthday, as if they expect me to have already made plans with some other close friend group. I wonder why those friends don't ask ahead of time or offer to celebrate with me. I would love it if someone asked me ahead of time and wanted to be involved or plan something, but no one does that.

I've also tried planning something myself and inviting people, but that was a total bust as well. I guess my friends are more like "acquaintances". I ended up doing nothing and having a terrible day. Soooo now I think birthdays are kind of overrated. Lol.

Now, I think a birthday is probably just a good day to treat yourself or distract yourself with a movie marathon, junk food you wouldn't normally eat, or something like that. Then if anyone asks, you can say you're planning a "me" day and hopefully all anxiety associated with the question with be avoided.

My worst one was when mum told me we were going to my home town for my 18th then whisked me off to Florida which isn't in the same country. I had a massive melt down at the airport. Irony is if she'd just told me I would have looked forward to it.
What I do these days is, tell people I care about general ideas about what to buy me. Then I get presents and cards from them - mostly family. I don't go out drinking and that was the same on my 21st. However, I do my favourite thing or something I'd been looking forward to. Sometimes that looks like not doing my routine or even leaving the house but only to go to a favourite place or do a thing I'd been putting off but which I'm excited for.
I get my favourite foods and I have a party tea. A small amount but just enough that my family can enjoy it. I don't care if that's juvenile I like kids' party stuff.
If people are pressuring me to drink, I remind them that's messed up. Being short helps. They tend to understand if I say 'alcohol doesn't agree with me'. Of course the pressure was higher on my 18th (can't remember if you're American but if so, good luck avoiding alcohol this year or happy first legal drink).

Why should I celebrate another year of a lonely life and being another year closer to death?