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TUF
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29 Jan 2019, 4:36 pm

I don't fit in anywhere.

I have never fit in anywhere.

Before social media came along, I didn't care.

Now I want to restart on social media.

But my karma or whatever points will always be negative cos I'm a weirdo.

I don't fit in, I don't fit in on here either. I have a few pals on here. But I don't actually fit in.

How do I go back to that wonderful aspie thing of quitting caring?

Instead of my current social anxiety.



Zack1994
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29 Jan 2019, 4:57 pm

It takes a lot of time, self love, and understanding in my opinion to get to that point. My uncle is an example of that.



Jake6238
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29 Jan 2019, 6:00 pm

Learn to love yourself. Then love yourself some more!


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Probably off challenging as many social norms in as little time as possible


BeaArthur
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30 Jan 2019, 5:16 pm

Where do you get that you don't fit in on here? I assume you mean, on WrongPlanet.

It seems to me you fit in pretty good.


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blazingstar
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30 Jan 2019, 5:23 pm

Your posts and replies have seemed to fit in to WP.


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TUF
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02 Feb 2019, 8:47 am

BeaArthur wrote:
Where do you get that you don't fit in on here? I assume you mean, on WrongPlanet.

It seems to me you fit in pretty good.


I said I was upset about Americans stereotyping Scots as kilt wearing, haggis munching Braveheart types. Someone said that meant I hated Americans.

My crush is American, my best friend is American. I love Americans and the notion of America, I just hate people who stereotype.

I shouldn't have said Americans but it's Americans who do it, I've never known anyone in England or Ireland do it.

Someone else said 'I can't believe I have anything in common with this person' because I like a range of hobbies and I'm not just into academic stuff.



MaxE
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02 Feb 2019, 9:33 am

TUF wrote:
BeaArthur wrote:
Where do you get that you don't fit in on here? I assume you mean, on WrongPlanet.

It seems to me you fit in pretty good.


I said I was upset about Americans stereotyping Scots as kilt wearing, haggis munching Braveheart types. Someone said that meant I hated Americans.

My crush is American, my best friend is American. I love Americans and the notion of America, I just hate people who stereotype.

I shouldn't have said Americans but it's Americans who do it, I've never known anyone in England or Ireland do it.

Someone else said 'I can't believe I have anything in common with this person' because I like a range of hobbies and I'm not just into academic stuff.
You probably just have to understand that quite a few people here aren't good at understanding how some things they say might affect another person emotionally. At your age, I was probably at least as bad as most of those people, but back then there was no internet (well technically there already was but not today's internet).

I think you are one of the most readable people on WP and you just started. You clearly have talent as a writer. Please don't quit! I bet you could find a lot of other people on WP who will readily concur.

As for stereotypes of Scots, you have to understand that Americans really have little exposure to Scots in real life. Not just because of distance, but we don't even get much immigration from Scotland as I believe most Scottish emigrants head for Canada, Australia, or NZ because it's easier. Also some of us find their extreme nationalism off-putting as we don't really understand that sort of ethnic-based nationalism here.


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TUF
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02 Feb 2019, 4:55 pm

Thanks.

I get a sense that American white people are less divided by heritage or religion. I think it's because America is more mixed race so it's more divided by colour than anything else. I wish it could be because of peaceful natures of people but that's not the case anywhere.

People of my heritage in America seem to be rich and republican (American sort of republican). I've studied the history behind why but I won't monologue. However, they are still proud of their roots. People of my heritage in parts of Scotland are obsessed with roots, treated badly about our roots, and historically poor until a lot later.

Scottish nationalists don't really seem that radical to me compared to what I'm used to because of my heritage. They're always (recent centuries) peaceful in their aims.

Thanks for the compliments.

I think I'm a bit social media driven because I had nobody I related to in real life and I'm still trying to find the right people. I was ill with severe anxiety/had a breakdown about 5 years ago and it meant that I didn't leave the house from 2013 to 2018. I think it stunted my development as well. I'm slowly getting back into real life socialising, such as my course, but it's a slow process and I feel a bit like someone who's getting into the shallow end of a swimming pool before swimming out to the deep end rather than diving off a diving board when I might not be able to swim.

I'm trying to cut back on online communication for the simple reason that I can't do it in moderation and it's getting in the way of more worthwhile pursuits. If I'm on here less, that will be part of why.



magicrabbit
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03 Feb 2019, 11:28 pm

Hi-I know how you feel. I quit Twitter the same day I joined because I was embarrassed that I only had one follower. I periodically deactivate my facebook account. You didn't elaborate much beyond "not fitting in." Actually you do, in a way, because millions of people feel they don't fit in either. I'm not sure exactly how you have actually tried to fit in, but I can tell you social media is a slippery slope. I started to get depressed because apparently everyone I knew had been sky-diving and taking beach vacations and partying and getting married and/or having kids. It seemed like everyone's life was so much more fulfilling than mine that I started to feel bad about myself and criticized my life. If you don't want to care so much, then I would say the first step is to limit how much time you spend on social media each day. And you may be a weirdo but again, so are gazillions of other people. I'm a weirdo and I'm kind of proud of it. I've struggled to fit in my entire life, which led to raging alcoholism, and the struggle was partly growing up asian in a white family and a white community. How do you not care? I stopped caring when I realized there was nothing wrong with me. I simply had an additional challenge called Autism. And who knows, maybe you'll meet someone on facebook who winds up being a face-to-face friend. I assume you want real human connection, and not just a friend list of people you knew in fourth grade. Message me if you want to keep talking. :)



blackicmenace
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03 Feb 2019, 11:41 pm

magicrabbit wrote:
Hi-I know how you feel. I quit Twitter the same day I joined because I was embarrassed that I only had one follower. I periodically deactivate my facebook account. You didn't elaborate much beyond "not fitting in." Actually you do, in a way, because millions of people feel they don't fit in either. I'm not sure exactly how you have actually tried to fit in, but I can tell you social media is a slippery slope. I started to get depressed because apparently everyone I knew had been sky-diving and taking beach vacations and partying and getting married and/or having kids. It seemed like everyone's life was so much more fulfilling than mine that I started to feel bad about myself and criticized my life. If you don't want to care so much, then I would say the first step is to limit how much time you spend on social media each day. And you may be a weirdo but again, so are gazillions of other people. I'm a weirdo and I'm kind of proud of it. I've struggled to fit in my entire life, which led to raging alcoholism, and the struggle was partly growing up asian in a white family and a white community. How do you not care? I stopped caring when I realized there was nothing wrong with me. I simply had an additional challenge called Autism. And who knows, maybe you'll meet someone on facebook who winds up being a face-to-face friend. I assume you want real human connection, and not just a friend list of people you knew in fourth grade. Message me if you want to keep talking. :)


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naturalplastic
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03 Feb 2019, 11:43 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
Where do you get that you don't fit in on here? I assume you mean, on WrongPlanet.

It seems to me you fit in pretty good.

That's what I was gonna say.