He wants to apologize

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In previous posts, I wrote about another adult man on the spectrum who I just don't get along with because he has some issues with the insecurity of his own due to the way people treat him and the way things have gone in his own life. He's so embarrassed about it that it's come out on me several times. We have gone back and forth and tried to be friends but it never works out because he has been known to

I recently wrote in the general autism discussion about his current co-workers treating him like a lesser of a person and describing him like "A big kid."

1. Talk down to me like or boss me around as if he is higher functioning than I am
2. He has also called me "Weird" and "Lower functioning" than he is for dumb reasons
3. There were other times where he was supportive

We both recently decided that we were not good for each other and that we could be civil with limited contacts which I was sad about at first but I learned to accept it. I got an email from him out of the blue stating that he wants to meet me and apologize. I am okay with that because there are some things I would like to suggest to him about learning to be more assertive with the people who are not respecting him as a person.

I don't want to be friends again but I do want to set boundaries with him and especially if he is going to be mean to me when we meet I had another bad experience with another former friend after she cut from her life. What do I do?

You're being set up. He's a controller. Get him out of your life. There is nothing for you to gain in this relationship. Refuse all contact.
Read Patricia Evans on controllers. They are poison and you seem to attract them, much as I have.

Take case, Summer

Seconded. As long as he can get your attention, he controls you.

Ghost him, before he hurts you ... or worse.

I get the vibes that he is contacting me because he wants something from me and really isn't sorry. So far:

1. I have been putting my foot down by making myself unavailable to him as he has done to me on many occasions.
2. Setting boundaries in mentioning that I had a bad experience with another ex-friend who did the same thing and I ended up in tears as well as angry with her for a long time

He wrote back and said, "Tell what you want me to do and I will do it." I told him
1. I want him to go back try a different option in his field even though he had one bump in the road
2. Not to call me or any other autistics weird unless he accepts that in himself
3. He needs to consider working on his self-esteem.

I didn't mention anything regarding how he should serve me better because I figured it would be bait to hook me back in.

Why didn’t you tell him “LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE”?

I sure did but not in that manner. Rather, I emailed him and said that though I appreciated the apology, I saw no need to meet and that I just cannot trust. I also mentioned my concerns of us continuing to get into a vicious cycle where he just wanted to be mean and condescending that that's something that I don't need in my life right now.

Then you didn't. He will likely perceive anything less than total rejection as encouragement.

'

What's wrong with what I said?

By the way, I went back to look at the email that I sent which said that I don't care to meet with him because I don't trust him because he has a controlling side. I also said our relationship was just going to be toxic because I felt that would continue to be mean and condescending towards me as well and that I don't need that in my life.

Because he will likely perceive anything less than total rejection as encouragement.

Ok, at the moment I am waiting for him to contact me and when he does, I will tell him not to contact me or have any other types of communication with me. If he doesn't get that then, I will ghost him.

Just tell him to "LEAVE ME ALONE!" A simple "DROP DEAD!" should also work.

That's all that needs to be said. Anything more will seem like you are having a conversation, which he will likely want to continue. Keeping it short and simple gives him less to argue against, or to want to talk about. You might even try ghosting him from this moment on.

No "I do not wish to have more contact with you?" Then just ghost him?

What about, "We are done?" and nothing else?

The first is too verbose. The second makes it seem like you are "benching" him.

I've been dumped before (many times), so I can see things from the perspective of a man like him. A 'soft' rejection doesn't feel like a rejection at all, while a 'hard' rejection is easy (though painful) to process and eventually accept.

If you want him out of your life, a 'hard' rejection is the only way. If you keep issuing 'soft' rejections, you'll only make him more whiny, more clingy, and more desperate to maintain the relationship.

Every time you respond to him, that also continues the relationship (in his mind, at least), so you may be best off by ghosting him, starting right now!

Thanks for explaining that