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Mapofsteel
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03 Mar 2018, 10:07 pm

Is there anything wrong with having and wanting same sex friends but neither having nor wanting opposite sex friends?



whatamievendoing
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04 Mar 2018, 5:49 am

Not necessarily. But I think there is a certain age threshold beyond which exclusively same-sex friendships might be seen as "socially questionable". I didn't care much for having female friends in my younger years, but I've been craving friendships with the opposite sex a whole lot more lately, possibly because of that.


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Mapofsteel
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08 Mar 2018, 4:38 pm

It’s just that I don’t understand why anyone would have or want opposite sex friends, apart from one for being a partner. There are so many more rules that come with having opposite sex friends, and I feel like the two sexes seldom, if ever, can understand each other.



lostonearth35
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08 Mar 2018, 4:51 pm

I thought having or wanting opposite sex friends was supposed to be weird. I th8ink that's baloney, but in spite of everything people still think men and women can't be just friends, even if they date other people. :?



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08 Mar 2018, 5:06 pm

There are a lot of rules about having same-sex friends, too, and I think they’re even less often made explicit, since you’re supposed to know them instinctively. Guess what? There are people, like me, who don’t.


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09 Mar 2018, 3:58 am

I can't say I'm particularly opposed to opposite sex friends, but it's probably safe to say that I'm indifferent about having them. I gravitate toward girls for sure - I know that I long for their approval and also crave their guidance and support. I suppose I'm not that good at "being a girl", so I've got that longing for "sisters" who can watch out for me and teach me. It's still pretty hard for me to assimilate, but even when i make guy friends, i still prefer the girls.

When i was a kid, i had a lot of male friends as well as some female, but i had very boyish interests, so my female friends were tomboyish like me. However, even my tomboy friends could also be "girly" and had the girly friends as well. I could never understand it. I remember going to a friends sleepover and being appalled by the cattiness of her other friends (not to mention, very confused by it). As i got older, being friends with boys became "weird" and awkward for reasons I couldn't understand, so I guess that's when I started trying to learn the girly ways of the girls so that I could mesh better. I guess I never got around to figuring out the social rules of interacting with the opposite sex as a teen (and adult), so I just sort of steered clear. Oh well. :lol:



Mapofsteel
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12 Jun 2018, 12:49 am

I don’t want any opposite sex friends and I don’t want any same sex friends that have opposite sex friends either. I need to know that there are many others just like me, AS and NT alike, that feel the same way. And I will not honor or tolerate any of my friends choices to have opposite sex friends.



whatamievendoing
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12 Jun 2018, 6:04 am

Mapofsteel wrote:
I don’t want any opposite sex friends and I don’t want any same sex friends that have opposite sex friends either. I need to know that there are many others just like me, AS and NT alike, that feel the same way. And I will not honor or tolerate any of my friends choices to have opposite sex friends.


That's pretty harsh.

Out of curiosity, is there something specific in the opposite sex that makes you not want to have members of it as friends or even friends of friends?


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jrjones9933
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12 Jun 2018, 6:16 am

That sounds like a path to no friends at all, Map. In the abstract, all my friends have made choices with which I disagree.

Clearly you've made a sexist thread. It doesn't seem like TOS-violating sexism yet.


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Mapofsteel
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12 Jun 2018, 9:58 am

whatamievendoing wrote:
Mapofsteel wrote:
I don’t want any opposite sex friends and I don’t want any same sex friends that have opposite sex friends either. I need to know that there are many others just like me, AS and NT alike, that feel the same way. And I will not honor or tolerate any of my friends choices to have opposite sex friends.


That's pretty harsh.

Out of curiosity, is there something specific in the opposite sex that makes you not want to have members of it as friends or even friends of friends?


The thing is, there are separate sports teams, locker rooms, and restrooms for each sex. If we can’t share the same facilities or teams, why can’t we be our own independent species?



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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12 Jun 2018, 12:09 pm

Mapofsteel wrote:
whatamievendoing wrote:
Mapofsteel wrote:
I don’t want any opposite sex friends and I don’t want any same sex friends that have opposite sex friends either. I need to know that there are many others just like me, AS and NT alike, that feel the same way. And I will not honor or tolerate any of my friends choices to have opposite sex friends.


That's pretty harsh.

Out of curiosity, is there something specific in the opposite sex that makes you not want to have members of it as friends or even friends of friends?


The thing is, there are separate sports teams, locker rooms, and restrooms for each sex. If we can’t share the same facilities or teams, why can’t we be our own independent species?


There are also coed teams and dorms and facilities, and unisex bathrooms, in many places nowadays. Unless you live in like Saudi Arabia or something.

It sounds like you are going to struggle with making any friends at all if you keep such a closed mind about gender relations, unless you live somewhere where Sharia Law is the way of things. Most people in the west are not so prudish and restricted in who they are willing to be friends and associate with, so you are likely putting up an unnecessary barrier between yourself and potential new friends.



kraftiekortie
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12 Jun 2018, 12:21 pm

I agree.....that would be pretty restrictive.



jrjones9933
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12 Jun 2018, 12:52 pm

Where were you radicalized, Map?


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Mapofsteel
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12 Jun 2018, 7:17 pm

It’s a combination of the way I was brought up along with my Asperger’s black and white way of thinking. I was raised in a conservative Christian home, and I also went on spiritual retreats where they emphasized the difference between boys and girls, men and women and the importantance if waiting until marriage for sex. And I interpreted all this to mean that it is wrong to have friends of the opposite sex, and it also made me uncomfortable dealing with anyone that has friends of the opposite sex.



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13 Jun 2018, 9:02 am

Same here.....save for a couple of gay male friends.....I don't make friends with men. I'm married.