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RavenShark
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06 Oct 2019, 1:51 pm

Just two days ago, a customer service agent broke out of her programmed friendliness, told me off and went into a lecture about "respecting her" and that "we're both adults here". The story was that I had a complicated mix-up with an order I made and I'm in the process of getting refunded, and that required a long explanation. After I was done explaining, I asked her "Did you follow all of that?" I wasn't being aggressive or sarcastic, I was genuinely asking her if the problem was clear to her, and that's when she became angry.

A few years ago, when I was in college, I was talking to a grad student in that same university, and, being interested in that grad program, I asked him how hard is it to get admitted compared to the more competitive colleges, and he got angry with me, saying that I "undermined his achievement". Again, it was not my point being insulting -- it was a serious question with no malice intended.

To date, I have no solution other than keeping quiet and treading very carefully in conversations.



WalkerTR
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06 Oct 2019, 3:35 pm

I used to drop all kinds of clangers.saying things which sounded like backhanded insults or sarcasm. Quite a few little incidents in the office and school. Over time I just gained experience.



Jakki
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06 Oct 2019, 11:31 pm

Sorry folks this is a old quote , that i never 100 % digested , " it is wiser to keep your mouth shut,and be thought a fool, than open it and remove all doubt " purely written tongue in cheek , please forgive.


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Summer_Twilight
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07 Oct 2019, 9:14 am

Hi:

Yes, I have been known to be blunt with people and it really ticked other people off.

Examples
1. If someone is a little too patronizing, I have said "I am not a child," but just about every person who gets that response says that I was rude.
2. I called out a former boss of mine on a non-work related issue(which was not during work) for leaving her son, who is on the severe end of the spectrum, out of her family trips while everyone else always got to go. All the while, she left him with caregivers or friends. Did she ever blast me for that too! "How dare you condemn my family!" However, she is a difficult person.
3. I made the mistake of being too blunt in correcting someone's daughter during car ride from a meetup and birthday party who I didn't really know which I had no business doing. Her mommy was also overly protective and doesn't get along with anyone anyway. She decided she didn't like and elected to block me on her facebook. Prior to that, she was extremely sullen with me.

As for your friend, it sounds like she is not a supportive friend.



Fnord
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07 Oct 2019, 9:36 am

hurtloam wrote:
Do you have issues with people getting upset with what you say when you didn't mean to say anything hurtful, but it turns out what you said was actually hurtful? ...
The only issues I have are with (1) "Attention Hos" who only want attention, no matter how they go about getting it; (2) Fragile "Snowflakes" who ask for honest opinions when all they really want is affirmation or validation, and who have meltdowns when someone even suggests that they might need to work on self-improvement; and (3) "Trolls" who have already made up their minds and ask for opinions only to have something to argue against. All three kinds of people are best ignored until they go away.


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Fireblossom
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08 Oct 2019, 8:37 am

Fnord wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Do you have issues with people getting upset with what you say when you didn't mean to say anything hurtful, but it turns out what you said was actually hurtful? ...
The only issues I have are with (1) "Attention Hos" who only want attention, no matter how they go about getting it; (2) Fragile "Snowflakes" who ask for honest opinions when all they really want is affirmation or validation, and who have meltdowns when someone even suggests that they might need to work on self-improvement; and (3) "Trolls" who have already made up their minds and ask for opinions only to have something to argue against. All three kinds of people are best ignored until they go away.


Honest answer please. How often do you actually manage to ignore them?



BTDT
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08 Oct 2019, 8:38 am

Only have one answer to their question. Repeat as necessary.

If they cut you off, then you do not repeat your answer. The proper response is "next question?"



JustFoundHere
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16 Oct 2019, 5:48 pm

Anybody aware of the humor book by actor 'Alan Alda' 'If I Understood You, Would I Have this Look on My Face? : My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating?'



green0star
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19 Oct 2019, 5:34 pm

I am blunt and many people don't like it. My parents often tell me its the reason that I have no friends.



Jakki
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19 Oct 2019, 9:20 pm

green0star wrote:
I am blunt and many people don't like it. My parents often tell me its the reason that I have no friends.

AND.....? Water seeks its own level .. aspiedom .. doesnt mean you get lotsa
Friends . Some peeps like blunt .. but those are usually older .
Sometimes blunt can be played off as humour , if you must. Many Aspies say blunt things . Many others say nothing .. no crime in being yourself .
Occassionaly tactfulness is a matter of aging too . Just my humble opinion.


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BDavro
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19 Oct 2019, 9:23 pm

I like blunt.

Tactfulness is a form of deceit.



Jakki
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19 Oct 2019, 9:36 pm

BDavro wrote:
I like blunt.

Tactfulness is a form of deceit.


Blunt= your a butthead.
Tactful = you cause me to reminese about your cerrebullum
When you cant say what you wanna say , you just say what you do ....?


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BDavro
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19 Oct 2019, 9:38 pm

Jakki wrote:
BDavro wrote:
I like blunt.

Tactfulness is a form of deceit.


Blunt= your a butthead.
Tactful = you cause me to reminese about your cerrebullum appearing as ,
What by all other standards of the human, a anal orifice .

When you cant say what you wanna say , you just say what you do ....?


Well, that would make you beavis.



Jakki
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19 Oct 2019, 9:43 pm

BDavro wrote:
Jakki wrote:
BDavro wrote:
I like blunt.

Tactfulness is a form of deceit.


Blunt= your a butthead.
Tactful = you cause me to reminese about your cerrebullum appearing as ,
What by all other standards of the human, a anal orifice .

When you cant say what you wanna say , you just say what you do ....?


Well, that would make you beavis.


Very cute ..LOOOOOLz


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BDavro
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19 Oct 2019, 9:49 pm

Jakki wrote:
BDavro wrote:
Jakki wrote:
BDavro wrote:
I like blunt.

Tactfulness is a form of deceit.


Blunt= your a butthead.
Tactful = you cause me to reminese about your cerrebullum

When you cant say what you wanna say , you just say what you do ....?


Well, that would make you beavis.


Very cute ..LOOOOOLz


I have no idea what to make of you Jakki.

Like nothing, cannot get a handle on you or figure out your angle of attack, I view it as a good thing and think you must be a good person, well, maybe not good, but cool in an autistic way.



Jakki
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20 Oct 2019, 9:28 pm

BDavro wrote:
Jakki wrote:
BDavro wrote:
Jakki wrote:
BDavro wrote:
I like blunt.

Tactfulness is a form of deceit.


Blunt= your a butthead.
Tactful = you cause me to reminese
When you cant say what you wanna say , you just say what you do ....?


Well, that would make you beavis.


Very cute ..LOOOOOLz


I have no idea what to make of you Jakki.

Like nothing, cannot get a handle on you or figure out your angle of attack, I view it as a good thing and think you must be a good person, well, maybe not good, but cool in an autistic way.


Thank you i think ...uhm... yes .. if you find out please tell me..? :arrow: :oops:


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