Just two days ago, a customer service agent broke out of her programmed friendliness, told me off and went into a lecture about "respecting her" and that "we're both adults here". The story was that I had a complicated mix-up with an order I made and I'm in the process of getting refunded, and that required a long explanation. After I was done explaining, I asked her "Did you follow all of that?" I wasn't being aggressive or sarcastic, I was genuinely asking her if the problem was clear to her, and that's when she became angry.
A few years ago, when I was in college, I was talking to a grad student in that same university, and, being interested in that grad program, I asked him how hard is it to get admitted compared to the more competitive colleges, and he got angry with me, saying that I "undermined his achievement". Again, it was not my point being insulting -- it was a serious question with no malice intended.
To date, I have no solution other than keeping quiet and treading very carefully in conversations.