Do you tend to be nicer to people you know or strangers?

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blackomen
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11 Oct 2019, 8:49 am

I have a tendency to be a lot nicer, friendlier, and more polite to people I know (including acquaintances, not just friends) compared to strangers. A lot of times, I simply feel no incentive to be nice or even polite to strangers but if it's a person I know I'll be potentially seeing again in the future, i have a tendency to be nicer to them. Of course this is rarely a conscious choice and effort; it's just how I naturally deal with people on autopilot.

However, a lot of people have commented that this is very unusual since they tend to go out of their way to treat strangers with politeness but they don't feel the need to do the same with their friends and acquaintances who seem to be forgiving of these transgressions.

Which pattern do you tend to follow? Nice to friends, mean to strangers or nice to strangers, mean to friends. Keep in mind that "nice" and "mean" are relative terms; being nice to strangers but extra nice to friends still falls under "nice to friends, mean to strangers".



Last edited by blackomen on 11 Oct 2019, 10:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

shortfatbalduglyman
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11 Oct 2019, 9:50 am

First of all, I usually have zero or one friend. Some acquaintances but nobody that I particularly like

Strangers (usually the ones that appear, to me, financially poor), often overreact after every slightest perceived slight. Thus I avoid them and I am more careful around them. Anyone could correctly label anything as "disrespectful". You can't measure :evil: respect :evil: . "Disrespect" is a trump card. (Trump card)



Previous ( or current) precious lil "friends", have mutual acquaintances to gossip to. That is how they :evil: punish :twisted: me for doing something they, rightly or wrongly, deem "wrong". (Or they just don't like it). (or I didn't do it and they don't believe me). (or "miscommunication"). Passive aggressive




Strangers don't have mutual acquaintances so they act more direct and aggressive



Please keep in mind that, anyone could wrongly accuse anyone of anything


Please keep in mind that, anyone could label anything as "wrong"



The older I get the less energy I have remaining, for, both parties



:roll:



GonHunter
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11 Oct 2019, 10:10 am

For me, there's no way to be gentle with whom I only know. To the extent that each of us knows that the matter that each one is identical to what another is done we'll all respect each other better.



SportsGamer35728
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12 Oct 2019, 11:09 am

For some strange reason, most of the time I feel like I can't be bothered with family, but I have no problem approaching and chatting with famous people 8) Anyone care to help me figure out why that is? :|



magz
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12 Oct 2019, 12:09 pm

I am probably more superficially polite towards strangers - more careful and using all the salutation phrases. But I probably come out as cold and reserved (if not shy sometimes), not really friendly. I don't mind as long as they show me basic respect.

With people I know well, I have my "do" and "don't" for each and while there is often much less conventional politeness than with strangers, I do deeply care for them and I try to keep them comfortable whenever I can.


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Joe90
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12 Oct 2019, 1:17 pm

I suppose in my case I'm nice to friends/family and mean to strangers, but not in a literal case. Let's take young children for example: I'm sure most of you here know my hatred of children aged around 1 year to about 4 years, but if I get to know a child of this age personally, I love them even if they cry.

So basically I dislike the general public but I am polite to strangers personally, and I have a lot of respect for elderly people whether I know them or not.


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Dimples123
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12 Oct 2019, 4:26 pm

Strangers I'm usually silent or less talkative towards cause also they taught me in school to not talk to strangers. I ease up a little more on people I'm comfortable with.



shortfatbalduglyman
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13 Oct 2019, 7:52 am

Careful around strangers. Don't know them well enough to predict their response as accurately. They could have guns.


Personal favors go to friends

Having said that I usually have zero or one friend



SharonB
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13 Oct 2019, 9:28 am

I am nice to near everyone. I have very good instinct and/or I've been really lucky. People who are open to my intensity often write or comment, "I feel like I've known you forever." My Aspie-like BFF on the other hand is a closed book. I am the open book. I wonder that ASD tends to have "extremes" in behavior. I have another friend who I am now considering is Aspie-like; it was at least ten years before she mentioned the names of her children (I never asked). I would not call her of my BFF nice; but neither would I say they are unkind.