Intense self-loathing keeping me from making friends

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Joined: 27 Apr 2018
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Posts: 120
Location: Narnia

Today, 3:30 pm

Is it normal to truly feel that you are the worst person you know? I try to be kind and polite, I have never said anything mean to anyone on campus. That being said, I present as kind of weird, I talk to myself all the time in my dorm or when I'm alone and I'm afraid others can hear me. I've tried to stop, but it comes as naturally as breathing.

I also am slow to react to people, so I don't usually respond if someone smiles at me. I also space out, sometimes glaring at people, or sometimes people think I'm checking them out. As a whole, I have few friends on campus and when I meet someone, I usually think of it as a matter of time until they dislike me.

I don't know exactly what I'm doing wrong. :( How do I overcome such self-loathing?

AQ: 36 (last I checked :p)