My personal approach at making temporary friends

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HacKING
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22 Jan 2020, 11:17 am

I can't say that everybody here can do this because I am very high up on the spectrum, but this is my personal approach to make people VERY interested in my for a short amount of time.

So pretty much, I ask the person about themselves a bunch at first, so they are engaged in the conversation and try my best to reflect or exceed their effort in the conversation, throwing in a sarcastic/humorous flair the best I can. Once they're thoroughly invested, this is when I begin talking about one of my special interest related "projects". In my case this would be coding and cybersecurity. On top of it I'll make sure to exhibit my knowledge of anything I am talented at. Also I try to remember that if they make a statement I need to listen and respond while doing this but anyway, my exhibition of interests and goals and projects typically impress the person into admiring me and seeing me as a wise man.

Essentially, I employ my "library" of archived special interests, stories, and talents and with them construct a "blueprint" for my initial days talking to anyone. And typically until I am depleted of things to talk about I have the other person thoroughly hooked on me. However once I have depleted my library of conversation prompts, I can fall stale and it makes me get ghosted. In response to this I just use the blueprint on somebody else.

In this way I always have somebody interested in me. And to further extend this I try to space out the conversations and keep myself busy so I can generate new conversation topics with my projects.

This method is far from ideal but it personally is just fine for me.



Mona Pereth
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26 Jan 2020, 9:17 am

As you've said, your friends are very "temporary." The question is how to find friends who can last longer.

My approach to friendship has always been to look for people who share my interests -- the more unusual, the better -- and who enjoy in-depth conversation about these esoteric interests.

Also very helpful is comradeship around a shared goal rooted in our shared interests.

The people I see as potential friends have tended to be fellow members of tiny minorities within tiny minorities within tiny minorities. Thus my pool of potential friends has always been extremely small. But, precisely because we see each other as hard to find, we are much more likely (though not guaranteed) to appreciate each other enough to form a lasting friendship.

I managed to find quite a few friends in my twenties and early thirties. A few of these friendships lasted for decades.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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27 Jan 2020, 11:22 pm

HacKING wrote:
I can't say that everybody here can do this because I am very high up on the spectrum, but this is my personal approach to make people VERY interested in my for a short amount of time.

So pretty much, I ask the person about themselves a bunch at first, so they are engaged in the conversation and try my best to reflect or exceed their effort in the conversation, throwing in a sarcastic/humorous flair the best I can. Once they're thoroughly invested, this is when I begin talking about one of my special interest related "projects". In my case this would be coding and cybersecurity. On top of it I'll make sure to exhibit my knowledge of anything I am talented at. Also I try to remember that if they make a statement I need to listen and respond while doing this but anyway, my exhibition of interests and goals and projects typically impress the person into admiring me and seeing me as a wise man.

Essentially, I employ my "library" of archived special interests, stories, and talents and with them construct a "blueprint" for my initial days talking to anyone. And typically until I am depleted of things to talk about I have the other person thoroughly hooked on me. However once I have depleted my library of conversation prompts, I can fall stale and it makes me get ghosted. In response to this I just use the blueprint on somebody else.

In this way I always have somebody interested in me. And to further extend this I try to space out the conversations and keep myself busy so I can generate new conversation topics with my projects.

This method is far from ideal but it personally is just fine for me.


These aren't "friends". These are--to you--disposable acquaintances. Why bother?

This actually sounds a lot like Aspie1 with his "therapy hacks".


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