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Joe90
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17 Feb 2021, 2:41 am

I'm always told that trolls have insecurities and are angry or jealous people who like to upset or trigger others to make themselves feel good, to deal with their insecurities.

I've always been somewhat insecure, like failing to accept myself and beating myself up for being an Aspie, and I also get very jealous and competitive of my peers to the point where I get depressed and resentful - but I don't show it to them. And I have never been nasty to anyone online or made any rude or unpleasant hateful comments. OK, once I did to my cousin on MSN (about 10 years ago) because he went out clubbing for the first time and I got really jealous and resentful so I kind of verbally lashed out - but I felt incredibly guilty afterwards and I immediately said I was really sorry and being my cousin he forgave me, but even to this day I still feel bad about it. It never made me feel good about myself.

So as someone with my insecure mindset, how come I don't troll or bully others online? How does that even make people feel good about oneself? I don't understand.


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17 Feb 2021, 8:21 am

Well, we first have to define trolling.
When the word started to getting used it meant making an argument you didn't really support, to start a fight. Kind of like being a devils advocate.
The word comes from the fishing method, trolling.
Nowadays it seems like it simply means being mean online.
I can only speak for myself, but I don't do that. In either of the defintions. I think it's a trait of autism, being honest and such, but I don't know.

/Mats


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DuckHairback
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17 Feb 2021, 8:31 am

I think the difference between the people who would and wouldn't troll others is simply self-awareness. You know you're insecure and are prepared to do the uncomfortable work of self-analysis to find out why and hopefully overcome it. You're not going to make it someone else's problem. A troll either doesn't consciously know they're insecure and is just enjoying the dopamine hit of getting attention by winding people up, or is so desperate for the attention they don't care.


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KT67
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17 Feb 2021, 8:49 am

Trolls are just nasty people most of the time.

It can also be perceived as trolling if you judge someone for something they wouldn't judge themselves for.

I'm one of those 'insecure types' and I'm a perfectionist...

I tell everyone I can't understand how wrong they are when they mess up simple stuff. I try not to with absolute strangers like online anymore cos it leads to arguments but for eg mum put chips in the oven and managed to burn them despite the instructions being on the packet & me telling her how long in case she needed even more help...

Thing is: she didn't feel crap about it so she thought I was being mean. Rather than reflecting her emotions.

If I had put them in the oven for longer than I was told or even forgotten to turn them over half way through like the instructions say, I would beat myself up (not literally) for days over burning something I had been instructed on how not to burn.

The world is so full of stuff that can go wrong even if everyone's doing everything right that it's hard for me to accept when people don't do everything right.

Maybe you're more relaxed than that, despite your insecurity?


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PhosphorusDecree
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17 Feb 2021, 8:55 am

Interesting question- I'd not thought of it that way before. I'm also pretty damn insecure, and I also have an aversion to stirring trouble on the internet. (Though I've not always been 100% perfect in that regard.) I think the "acting out of insecurity" explanation is something people say to help them feel contempt for the trolls instead of being intimidated by them. Yet it lets the trolls off the hook- "they're so pathetic, they just can't help themselves". This ignores malice, and the element of choice. Some people feel the need to deal with their misery by making others miserable. Others don't feel that urge at all, or if they do, choose not to indulge it. And as DuckHairback says, many trolls may have a different motivation entirely.


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kraftiekortie
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17 Feb 2021, 8:55 am

Why would you WANT to troll?

Why would you WANT to be a stupid a***hole?

It's a waste of my time and resources, frankly. I've got better things to do with my time.



mohsart
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17 Feb 2021, 9:04 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Why would you WANT to troll?

Why would you WANT to be a stupid a***hole?

It's a waste of my time and resources, frankly. I've got better things to do with my time.

I don't read it as she wants to, just wondering why she didn't end up like that kind of person.

/Mats


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kraftiekortie
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17 Feb 2021, 9:10 am

I know that. You're right.

I'm just irritated by trolls; I wish they wouldn't get the attention they do get.



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17 Feb 2021, 10:30 am

Joe90 wrote:
How come I don't troll?
You seem like the kind of person who does not need to make others feel "small" in order to make yourself feel "big".

I am guessing that this may be the core reason.


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Joe90
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17 Feb 2021, 1:11 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Why would you WANT to troll?

Why would you WANT to be a stupid a***hole?

It's a waste of my time and resources, frankly. I've got better things to do with my time.


I hate trolls too. I just don't see how making others feel bad can make oneself feel good. Who wants to be seen as a horrible person?

Usually if I am feeling angry or resentful, I take it out on myself, not others. One thing that does make me feel better about myself is being nice to other people.

One time I watched a YouTube video of someone's pet tarantulas, and I have a phobia of tarantulas. Some mean people will comment something mean like "how can you keep pets like that, weirdo, get a life!" But I commented that I have a phobia of tarantulas but that I have watched his video to educate myself about them as some people like them, and then I added that I have pet rats and some people are afraid of rats. The person who posted the video put a nice comment back (can't remember what he put but I could tell he liked my comment).


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HeroOfHyrule
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17 Feb 2021, 1:30 pm

People also troll just because they're immature or find something funny. You don't really have to be insecure to do it (depending on what you do), and not everyone who is insecure is that immature or finds doing that funny.

I used to "troll" people on an app I was on when I was 16-17. I wasn't insecure and didn't harm anyone, but I had a really immature sense of humor and found out that I could say certain things and get reactions out of people. I also liked the negative attention, because otherwise people on there ignored me, and it actually got me positive attention because people who found me funny wanted to talk to me. lol



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17 Feb 2021, 1:35 pm

I think the reason why you aren't a troll Joe90
is because your simply not that type of person

all people have insecurities
all people experience difficult emotions

but this does not mean that everyone will troll
trolling is a bullying behavior
as is cyber stalking
and eavesdropping

all lower minded activities that only lower minded people spend their time doing
as people who are good nature'ed
simply aren't attracted to such sadistic malicious endeavors
:-)



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17 Feb 2021, 2:02 pm

Most trolls seem to be bored school aged kids. Looking back I realized I would troll in AOL chatrooms because I thought it was funny, I didn't know any of these people, I would never see them, nothing said to me online would hurt me because I didn't know these people and they didn't know me. There was no profile, only the username. If someone gave me no attention, I would move onto the next random user. This is trolling 101. I am surprised I never even got banned from that room lol. I never did any threats is why or say anything nasty like, "I bet your momma doesn't love you and you were an ugly baby." It was more silly stuff like the time I told someone they were so gross when they were typing gross stuff about food combinations and that person was like "thank you." Maybe they were trolling as well and they were trolling me back. I remember another funny comment in the chat room "You damn sixth graders go to bed right now and get out of this room." I knew they were referring to me at the time. I thought all these reactions were hilarious. What made me stop, my dad canceling AOL and then we only had Access Montana and we have Internet Exploror and there were no chat rooms and stuff and by the time I figured out chat rooms on websites, I had matured and didn't go back to my antics again. I just didn't know at the time what I was doing was called trolling.

Just remember, the trolls you see online could just be 15 year olds. Maybe you are dealing with a 12 year old.

And some people troll when they get into that mood like if you piss them off somehow or if they think you are an idiot or a jerk so they give you a hard time.


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17 Feb 2021, 7:55 pm

madbutnotmad wrote:
and eavesdropping



Eavesdropping is unavoidable for aspies when they're in a house with people who speak at the top of their voices.

NTs seem to be able to 'tune it out' but not all of us have that ability.

Now, to use that info against someone when they don't know you have it & weren't talking to you... that's low behaviour.

But eavesdropping in general isn't even really behaviour at all, no matter how much NTs pretend it is


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KT67
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17 Feb 2021, 7:58 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Why would you WANT to troll?

Why would you WANT to be a stupid a***hole?

It's a waste of my time and resources, frankly. I've got better things to do with my time.


Aspies have high empathy despite the stereotypes.

We know what it's like to be bullied.

So we don't do it to other people.

Some aspies do but less than NTs do.

NTs do it in order to enforce a social 'norm'. They think that somehow that is ok.

I was watching TV today & there was a stupid show where people called in with words they couldn't say & the hosts made fun of them. It wasn't funny to me. It was like bullying except the people called in voluntarily. Maybe they were pretending & teasing people who couldn't say it. I think if autistic people were the majority, shows like that wouldn't hold much interest to the general population.


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kraftiekortie
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17 Feb 2021, 8:04 pm

Trolling, to me, is an extension of high school.

Why can't these people just grow up?