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Autistic friend keeps sending me messages

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Joe90
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07 Jul 2021, 6:51 pm

I feel mean saying this but I have an autistic friend who keeps messaging me and sometimes I can't always be bothered with him. He has an obsession with naked girls, and although he's stated that he respects that I have a boyfriend he still talks about other naked girls and it's the sort of thing a guy would talk about to another guy, not so much a female friend. But he doesn't have a lot else to talk about because he doesn't have a job or go out far, and he doesn't do small talk or discuss feelings. So all that's on his mind is girls and sex.
But I don't have the heart to tell him how I feel about that, so the most I can do is just ignore his messages sometimes until I'm in the mood to text back, which is probably not the best way to act on it but it's the neurotypical way, I think.
But sometimes he messages me on chats on Facebook, so if I open the message he'll know that I've seen it (unless I want to ignore the distracting unread message icon at the top of the screen) and he might feel hurt.

What do you think I should do?


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funeralxempire
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07 Jul 2021, 6:53 pm

Set boundaries.
Let's him know you're not interested in discussing naked girls or sex with him, but let him know that limiting those topics doesn't mean you're disinterested in discussing other things with him.


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Mona Pereth
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07 Jul 2021, 7:51 pm

Joe90 wrote:
But he doesn't have a lot else to talk about because he doesn't have a job or go out far, and he doesn't do small talk or discuss feelings. So all that's on his mind is girls and sex.
But I don't have the heart to tell him how I feel about that, so the most I can do is just ignore his messages

What do you feel would be wrong with telling him you are not interested in receiving messages from him about naked girls and sex?

Perhaps you might find some of these tutorials on how to be assertive without being aggressive helpful?

How did this person become your friend, in the first place?


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Mountain Goat
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07 Jul 2021, 8:45 pm

Just ask him if he has other things to talk about. Tell him you are just not into naked women! (He may see the funny side and decide to change the subject to be polite to you.. Hopefully!).


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