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wblastyn
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05 Jun 2007, 8:50 pm

So, like the title says I have a bit of a dilemma.

A while back I made friends with this girl in my church. She was, and still is, a nice person, we have a lot in common (we both like movies, video games, etc) and she is one of those few people who I can have a conversation with. But after a while I began hearing people talk about her behind her back, complaining about how she constantly talks and never shuts up, and at first I just thought they were being nasty and even had a huge argument with my sister over it, as she was one of the people complaining.

Over time I have begun to realise just how right these people were. The girl just talks constantly and never shuts up, when "I'm" having a conversation she just goes on and on and I end up day dreaming, although it's slightly difficult because she bombards you with stupid questions so you have to listen somewhat to what she is saying. When I try to get away from her she just follows me around like an annoying person and won't leave me alone. One time I was trying to have a conversation with my sister and she came over, interrupted our conversation and started talking to me about handbags (why she thought a guy would care about handbags I have no idea).

Another time she was in the kitchen bombarding my brother-in-law, who was trying to make something hot, about his PS3, and kept getting in his way.

The person who she gets a lift with to church never told her that people were meeting at someone else's house for a meal because they got so sick of her constantly talking rubbish.

I am beginning to think she might have AS because she has poor social skills, has narrow interests, she's also 26 but acts very immature. If she does have it is it hypocritical of me to get annoyed at her for something that isn't her fault (even though it is REALLY annoying), and that I also have (although I don't think I annoy people the way she does)?

I find it sad that she behaves in this way and doesn't realise that it's abnormal and annoys people, causing them to complain about her behind her back.... but having experienced her first hand, I can sympathise with the complainers. Some people have said that they think she is attracted to me, which is why she talks to me the most, but even if she was I think if I had a relationship with her I'd end up throwing her out of a window just to get her to shut up.

She has actually asked me before if she annoys people and I just dodged the question, but I'm wondering if I should tell her the truth for her own sake?



Pugly
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05 Jun 2007, 10:00 pm

I wouldn't get too upset over just dull conversation... but jumping in when you are obviously talking and interacting with someone else is rude and I would inform her.

If she is looking for a friend, and you are the first one to come along it can be overwhelming since all the attention she wants to give to friends is focused just on you.

It might be difficult to inform her tactfully and not hurt her feelings too much, but if she is asking specifically if she is annoying... she might suspect somethin is up with the way she converses and it would be offensive to tell her otherwise.

If people lie to her and say she is not annoying... and eventually she does find out... this revelation will probably make her bitter to all the other people that have lied to her.... and I don't think you want to do that.


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wblastyn
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06 Jun 2007, 7:03 am

Thanks for the reply.

I realise that dull conversation is no big deal, but when it involves the same person following you around and talking incessantly every single week for 2-3 years it does tend to get irritating. It's getting to the point where I sometimes avoid going to church because I know she'll be there annoying me.

I think I kinda did tell her that she annoys people in a round-a-bout way. When she asked me if she annoys people I asked her why she thought that and she said she just thinks that her talking too much annoys people, so I just bluntly said "Well then, why do you do it?" and she said that she just feels a compulsion to talk. I don't think she realises just how much she annoys people, like to the point of avoiding her (it's not just me who gets annoyed), because she always makes jokes about how much she talks.



suekohnnn2
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11 Jun 2022, 10:40 am

Difficult situation