Why do people do this?

Post Reply New Topic

Why do some people feel the need to point out facial features about a person that an individual is self consciousness about? Don't they realise its rude and unnecessary behaviour?

For example this one bloke at the pub who is part of my social group pointed out the other day that I had dark circle/eye bags under my eyes.

Maybe he is trying to destroy your confidence, he might not even know that himself.

There could be a lot of reasons

Not enough information to determine the answer

However some precious lil "people" act like every thought and emotion that goes through their heads are the latest greatest scientific invention.

Their motives could be positive negative or neither

It could also be an attempt to start a personal conversation, trying to find out if something is changing in your life for you show signs of exhaustion in your face.

Insufficient data.

Why are some people obsessed with their own appearances?

It's OK if an NT does it but if an Aspie does it then they get a huge lecture about empathy and all that s**t.

Whether an NT or an autistic person does this, it's pretty stupid.

This is typical behavior for barflies.

Sometimes people are just blunt, especially drunk people. I don't have a great filter myself due to ASD and ADHD, and have had to learn to not just point out things like that, even though I'm not trying to be mean.

mebbe you shoulda tol' him "hey, you want some bags under your eyes too? i can give them to you!"

I'd just ignore it and carry on with the conversation.

I will never know, this isn't just limited to facial features either, they'll point out anything that stands out even if this is obviously a negative thing. The worst is when something induces a facial palsy episode with me and one side gets more droopy and I have less overall control of my expression and voice. They amount of times I've gotten rude comments and people were offended at my obvious condition is baffling. It's not every NT of course but I imagine it's those one's that live in a ironically very small world that never really faced too many problems in their entire life or seen anyone with a real disability before actually functioning in the wild. It's likely the case because those small town people are always the one's acting like this the most, I like to call it small town syndrome. Everyone is a freak but them of course, in fact they'll go to a different place and point out while in a place that isn't their own how weird the locals are, it really is like a disease.

For a second I was gonna say, like if it was just a random stranger it might be a different matter.
To answer the question, I don't know really some people don't think before they talk or they think it's just banter/something to talk about, like how some people will annoyingly say "you look tired", it's probably just some variation of small talk.

Yes it can be rude.

I think they are blind to the effect pointing out some physical feature might have on someone.. Total lack of awareness not to mention decorum in my opinion. I have experienced such things more than once and it made me shrink into a little shell. I did not know how to respond or fight back. Now I am oldish it no longer matters but when you are young and trying to get to grips with the world, especially when there is a social block (you aren't aware of in my case) in the way.......

Maybe that guy was worried about the OP's health because dark eye bags under the eyes are often an indication of lack of sleep?

Most people don't do it directly to your face. Rather, they do it behind your back.

Does he know you feel self conscious about them?

It's quite possible he said it to put you down and feel better about himself.

In other words, he is insecure.

Some people just talk too much

It's like there is no room between their brains and mouths

They have (freedom of speech)

Even if they did something illegal, short of winning a civil lawsuit, you don't have the right to do anything about it

Please do not take it personally

They are just "being true to themselves"