Going out for drinks

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What role does going out for drinks hold? I have been asked if wanted to go out for drinks at a point a few hours after the question, and have never gone because I couldn't work out why the question was being asked. An example of this was after a backhoe had cut power to my university's residences and I had expressed curiosity about the backhoe, the backhoe's operator asked me if I wanted to go out for some drinks.

Usually, going out for drinks is a good way to get to know people in a social situation. People ask you out for a drink if they like you and want to spend time together with you. On television (and i'm pretty sure in real life) a lot of times guys ask girls out for drinks because they hope to "score." Girls usually don't take an interest in backhoes so I think the operator thought you were flirting with him and were interested in dating him. I wouldn't want to date a backhoe operator so you should probably try to date other guys from the university who share your interests in things other than backhoes.

TOTALLY UNRELATED: By the way, I noticed your external link. You seem to be a python programmer? Thats awesome! I see you have done some stuff with pygtk. I'm going to take a look into that. I'm wondering what OS you use? I'm currently in OS X and Gentoo Linux. I can run X applications in both environments obviously.

hmm, well that's a request i'd probably decline, a because im under 21 but b because i can't stand unstructured situations ...
but what i kept thinking when reading your post is...what is a backhoe?

I think an interest in backhoes is extremely healthy for anyone. I like bobcats and mulching machines... You are right to wonder at the purpose of these drinks. It is easy to be confused. I used to think it was an opportunity to talk about 'backhoes' but found out that there were other motives involved. Not being one to small talk, I've always asked straight up. This is not considered a tactful way to deal with a situation however and can cause arguments. Another technique I have, when I realise things are heading into trouble is to mention how much my boyfriend loves backhoes... (regardless of whether I have one or not - boyfriend that is). Nice guys pretend they wanted to talk about backhoes from the beginning, and not-nice-guys storm off and try to make you feel guilty for stringing them along. Trust me - you don't want to have anything to do with those not-nice-guys. I've met a few and they make bad conversation.

I use Debian unstable, but my assignments for class have to work with Solaris (no problems yet). multiui, the python modules that I had created, are currently undergoing some major modifications to increase their flexibility and the module using pygtk is much easier for me to code than the ncurses one, since I am adding tabbed dialogs and some other stuff.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backhoe, although I prefer the picture on the tractor page and his backhoe was red.

Awesome. I use Gentoo as I'm a Gentoo developer (http://dev.gentoo.org/~alexander). Its an awesome distro. Its package management system, portage, is written in python. You might want to check it out. I've only played around with ncurses a little and haven't gotten into pygtk. I'm mainly into Perl though.

Bleh, dating. I've tried that with one guy in high school for a couple months. I broke up with him about three years ago and when he is in a situation where he can talk to me (very rare), he talks at me for an hour and keeps mentioning how he wants to marry me and plans to propose to me when I graduate.

if you want to go for drinks with a guy at some stage but you're nervous suggest you do it with a group of his and your friends- a decent man will at least consider this. always go somewhere during daylight that you are familiar with and can get away from easily on your own.

where did that all come from? Im not 18 yet!

A drink can be really useful, as it gives you something to do (hold the drink, look at it, swirl it around, drink it, etc) in an awkward situation, instead of just standing there feeling uncomfortable.

I'll only take to it well if the other person genuinely wants to go out for drinks and he or she isn't just saying it in a prescripted sort of automaton way. Drinks can sometimes cost a lot, so unless it's exotic, I'll just have water.

Everyone in this town drinks like fish. As far as I've been able to determine alcohol serves to allow people to say things they'd otherwise be too gutless to say/do and to convinently deny reponsiblity for their actions afterwards.

Eg Male friend of mine (i'm a girl) asks me to go for drinks with him and so we have a few and he starts comming onto me :/

Rang him up the next day and said that really was not cool, and he's just like it's not my fault it's the alcohol.

So if you're female and a guy is asking you, be suspicious.

Generally i'll say yes if one person i'm sort of getting to know, or know well asks, but I avoid big groups of people as I tend to sort of become a third wheel and then just want to go home.

And you should always order the same drink as the other person, and then switch them when they aren't looking, in case they try and spike your drink...
If you get in any trouble just ring yourself, and tell the person you need to go and answer your phone in private.

going out for drinks usually means a time for social interactiona nd to get to know one another, or just relax and catch up with old friends.

If a guy buys you a drink (female) he often wants to get into your pants. Or just to open up and relax.

How old are you btw? *I'll admit, it's not the best way to start a reply! *

It depends on the context - if it's a friend of many years or group of friends asking if you want to go out for a drink, then normally it's a way of catching up on news & gossip as well as reminicing about the past.

If it's a guy asking a girl if she wants to go for a drink, then it's a way of getting to know someone before dating them and then getting into a relationship. Eventually.

HOWEVER, *and this is important* some guys use this way as getting girls drunk and then getting laid with no intention of seeing them again. Or just seeing them for sex.

So be careful. Go somewhere that you know, tell your friends about where you're going and don't forget, you can ALWAYS say NO - alcohol, unwanted advances, etc.

But saying that, when you get right down to it, it's a way of one person to get to know another in a social environment.

If you decide to take him up on his offer, enjoy!