How are you supposed to ''get out there'' ?

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How are you supposed to get out there if you are somebody who has few friends, doesn't go to bars, clubs, pubs etc, won't return to volunteering and won't go to social club involving doing activities and stuff they are not really interested in ?

The above would make it really difficult for you to “get out there.”

I guess the only way, in this instance, is for you to make online friends.

Have you looked on Meetup.com for groups that do things you ARE interested in?

Board game meetups and dating apps were the keys for me. Board game meetups I found were the gateway to meeting people in the geek community, and I made friends through dating apps, who introduced me to their friends, etc.

What kind of hobbies do you enjoy doing? Perhaps look at classes close to you or join FB groups and you can look for any potential meetups near you. The latter is something I did in which I made a lot of friends with.

I looked on Meetup and I didn't seem to find something there that interested me in going to within 2, 5 or 10 miles from where I live. Nothing turned up involving things that took my interest such as hobbies and passions, music, animals, social and outdoor activities (except one quiz night at a pub with just one attendee so far), The thing is I'm not somebody who is really into playing board-games like dungeons and dragons and stuff like that. I'm not really into art and design as much anymore. I seem to feel like I'm the only one here while everyone else is going out there and have more lucky and fun social lives than I am.

As I said to someone else, I did look on Meetup and I didn't seem to find something on there that interested me in going to within 2, 5 or 10 miles from where I live. Nothing turned up involving things that took my interest such as hobbies and passions, music, animals, social and outdoor activities (except one quiz night at a pub with just one attendee so far), The thing is I'm not really into playing board-games like dungeons and dragons and stuff like that. I'm not really into art and design as much anymore. I seem to feel like I'm the only one here while everyone else is going out there and have more lucky and fun social lives than I am.

In my own time when I'm off work, I tend to like reading and I seem to enjoy writing and creating lists of things and I think I'm in the process of trying to write my own books. If I do go out I look to have a look around charity shops, book shops and some clothes shops and usually when I do that I'm usually on my own and never with anyone else. Sometimes I feel like I enjoy my own company but sometimes when I see people with other people it sometimes leaves me feeling like someone is missing from my life to share it with and seem to think people with partners and close friends have much happier and fulfilling lives than people on their own.

What kinds of things do you especially enjoy reading?


What kinds/genres of books are you in the process of trying to write?

Have you ever attended a writers' workshop?

I enjoy reading about subjects like history, true crime, nature and animals and myths and legends. At the moment, I'm just in the process of coming up with ideas and listing them for writing about people in history, another is about infamous criminals and another is about disasters that happened on each day of the year in history. I have never attended a writers' workshop.

^It might not be a bad idea to attend one.

If you want to put yourself out there and start meeting people, one of the first steps you can take is joining a writers group or even NanoWriMo. Even if there aren't many people in your immediate area, you can find groups that meet on-line. Another thing you can do is go to places (libraries, museums etc.) and places where you can research the things you are interested in writing about.

Generally, if you go to places you are interested in you will find other folks who are also interested in the same thing. Even just being able to hang around people with similar interests is a good first step at meeting people. You might consider taking a class in either history or in writing...both are great for adding to your knowledge and meeting like-minded people.

If all else fails, you can start a group of your own and advertise for other members.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Mona

I know your post was for Chris and not for me, but I have zero hobbies. Just surfing the internet. Been to a lot of meetups, and they seem so random.

(Part of the following is a tangent, but part of it addresses the original post.)

How do people without hobbies socialize or meet friends?

Or maybe not having friends or socializing is better, than failure after failure, for some people.

Been to a couple meetups, a couple years ago. They seemed so random and meaningless. As usual, did not feel like I belonged or anything like that.

Some people act all "buddy buddy", but then the second they think I did something "wrong", it's like "Dr Jekyll and Mister Hyde.

(1) Did I do it? Things are not always the way they appear. For example, @ Food Maxx, someone had the nerve to tell me that someone else told him that I allegedly stole something from Food Maxx. Told him I have never stolen from Food Maxx. "Maybe someone looks just like you," he told me. (mistaken identity)

(2) Did I do it on purpose? A customer told me to unload a tool with him. In the past, I have loaded tools that look just like it before, so I tried to unload it. It was too heavy and I dropped it. On the way down, it struck my tooth and chipped it. "What the f**k? You can't hold it?", the customer had the nerve to bark @ me. (He just assumed that I dropped it on purpose. But I did not answer him, because "customer always right".)

(3) Is it good or bad? Not all impacts are immediate, permanent, physical, visible, or obvious. (chaos theory)

(4) What is the size of the correct reaction? An aikido instructor told me that he talked to the head instructor and she said that when I mimed "the litterbox" the week before, when he made all the customers do "breathing exercises", that was "disrespectful", and that if you (shortfatbalduglyman) were going to be like that, do not come back, and leave the building immediately. However, in November 2021, a newspaper article claims that an LAFD fireman (allegedly) pulled his pants down and wiped feces with the vaccine letter. According to the article, he committed (1) indecent exposure, (2) public defecation (3) littering and he was on the clock. Meanwhile, my worthless corpse was not on the clock, and did not do anything illegal.

Meanwhile, they keep doing things that I do not like, and I do not have the nerve to micromanage them, the way they had the nerve to micromanage me.

Socializing is like "cost benefit analysis."

Everything I attempt to accomplish, is like "there's a hole in the bucket, dear liza" and "you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear".

"trust versus mistrust"

Also, been to 42 counselors. The longest one was for two years, once every other week. The second longest was for 9 months, once a week. Counseling sometimes "helps", "hurts", both, or neither. However, thus far, none of the counselors that I have gone to, have "helped" nearly enough to justify minimum wage, much less their salary.

Everything just takes way too much energy. Even talking. Especially talking.

Surprised my worthless corpse still has not been made redundant from the slave plantation.