How to get on with Neurotypicals

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I was watching a documentary on the gaelic residents of a small Scottish island on the south-west coast of Scotland (I think it was called "Islay"). The BBC reporter described the island residents as the most fiercely parochial in all of Britain, a local gaelic dialect was the main lingua franca and English most definitely a 2nd language.

I thought of them because anyone not related by blood and unable to speak the dialect were quite rudely referred to as "incomers". The reporter asked the village head lady (who had a very long gaelic name) why outsiders/newcomers were called "incomers", She said it's because 1000 years ago the Vikings invaded their little island and killed most of the inhabitants. Those that survived were forever scarred by the experience and were wary of outsiders and clung fiercely to their Gaelic heritage.

Because of their isolation and lack of intermarriage over 1000 years a UK University wanted to do a DNA analysis of the population (around several thousand islanders), Instead of gaelic, the entire population was almost 100% Scandanavian origin on their male side. It turned out the local story was correct, except it seems instead of surviving and repopulating the island, the Viking men actually settled there and displaced the men and took the all Scottish women (a rather typical Viking story).

When the residents discovered they were carrying a 1000 year old hatred for their own ancestors it would be an understatement to say they were embarrassed. Obviously what happened is the children of the viking "incomers" threw out their father's language and adopted gaelic and over time completely forget their own history.

"The forum that shall not be named."

I recently had an incident where I was overly open and friendly, in a professional situation.
At the end of the interaction, it became "obvious" I was trying to "crack onto" him.
"Water off a duck's bad."

NTs be crazy...

People haven't moved far from where they were born, married their neighbours and stayed there. That explains A LOT about the state of British people in the 21st century.

I think I know what you're saying. I think it has happened to me too: being very friendly and being mistaken for chatting someone up.

We can't win, can we. We're either too cold and formal, or we're chatting them up!

Explains brexit

To be honest you get that in the Australian countryside (outback or bush take your pick). Small towns tend to be difficult to break, I worked for a brief stint in a mining town called Leinster in rural western Australia. I had a beer with a local who was unmarried. I surmised there weren't many women in the town so there was slim pickings. He said the local boys call "dibs" on girls in primary school and thats that. By highschool if you haven't found somebody then you have two choices for female company, Leave OR spend your money in the local brothel. That type of culture creates a hard environment for outsiders who are welcome so long as you are seen spending money on the locals.

I think I know what you're saying. I think it has happened to me too: being very friendly and being mistaken for chatting someone up.

We can't win, can we. We're either too cold and formal, or we're chatting them up!

I think 'god, wake up, stop being boring and conventional' and I want to shake boring people up. Life is so boring otherwise.

It's fun if I meet someone who feels the same and is willing to joke around with no expectations. But most people are just so conventional and do the same thing day after day

I've noticed this. But also this: my partner is really good at making people who seem conventional and boring loosen up. It's like many people need permission to be themselves, or at least sillier and less guarded. My partner seems to do this by 'going first'. She's silly so other people join in. They wouldn't if she hadn't established that it's okay to be silly.

I wish I could do this, but I think I probably fall into the conventional and boring category until I get comfortable which takes ages.

I wish I could do this, but I think I probably fall into the conventional and boring category until I get comfortable which takes ages.

One of the first steps to self-actualisation is having the wisdom to know one's own limitations You may be surprised how naturally you behave around NTs when you stop forcing yourself and you feel less anxious.

Yep. I am fed up with saying it, I've said it a million times: stupid, inbred Brits voted for Brexit because they believed the lies they were told about how the world depends on Britain and will give us whatever we want



^That sounds like the village I live in. Everyone is interrelated to each other. I wouldn't have moved here if I'd known that. Can't wait to leave.

Either that or the village inhabitants are super posh and rich, and so they don't care what the 'plebs' do, they have their own social life.

I fall between categories- I'm not a 'local' and I'm not 'super posh and rich', so I'm in no-man's land, purgatory

We must live in the same village.

I think there must be lots of places like this around the world. The big cities full of acceptance, modern opinions, tolerance and benevolence are different planets to villages.

I'm going to try living in a town next year, see what that's like!

And basically I did never get to know anyone in this village! Everyone is in a clique, interrelated, no welcome to strangers. So are my in laws who live locally. A big NO ENTRY sign everywhere. Sometimes people are friendly, sometimes they aren't.
The environment here is obviously more pleasant and safer...but it's been so lonely.