What are appealing traits of autistic people?

Post Reply New Topic

I was wondering, when it comes down to making friends, what traits of autistic people are appealing? I was wondering if I/we could somehow lean into those traits to make it easier to make friends.

I'm just wondering why I had so many friends when I was a teenager/ in my twenties. What was it they liked about me back then? And what has changed about me now?

My best guess would be that 'Being Reliable' is an appealing trait. But even then I've been mocked for being too predictable.

I have a friend who thinks he is autistic and I agree with him (he hasn't been tested), and he is becoming popular because he asks direct questions which get straight to the heart of the matter and don't allow any woffling. He is straight to the point, what you see is what you get with him.

But I'm like that, and I just get stared at, annoy people or get told not to be so blunt.

So I'm wondering. Are there any autistic traits which are appealing? Or none? Or does it depend on the environment, job and people you're with?

(although I had another idea then- what if it was my STATUS change that made people stop liking me? From 'weirdo loser with no hope' to 'married woman with a child.' Maybe that was enough to make people stop liking me. We know how obsessed NTs are with status, don't we.)

a lot of us are very accepting of people and their differences, and therefore less likely to be bullies!

Off the top of my head, I'd say creative, passionate, and intriguing, but also/alternatively straightforward, honest, reasonable, and unshakeable! It really depends on the individual and the circumstances, I think, just like anyone else in the world.

KitLily, getting married and having kids might change your social "status" (I'd say it's a lateral move) because people might have more or less in common with you, but somewhere like work it might not/should not matter--unless you're rattling on about them all the time!

I'd bet cash that your male friend has success being so outspoken at least in part because...he's male. The possibility that you, as a female, are rejected for similar behavior is more of a [i]probability[/i].

To anyone within hearing distance, I'm not looking for a debate on that last bit, partly because I don't want to be responsible for taking Kit's thread off topic, and partly because I'm weary of it. I respectfully suggest if anyone wants to debate sex/gender they start another thread.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled discussion, already in progress...

we are different so, we are less judgmental overall.

No need to shade the truth to increase or maintain social status.

"Does that dress make me look fat?" is not a question anyone should ask me unless they are fully prepared to accept an honest answer.

Yes, this is an Appealing trait, as truthfulness can inspire others to enact changes for the better.

Autistic people are often very direct which is good for people to want to know where they stand.

Not speaking for all autistic people, but I've been told these qualities of mine are appreciated by some, though not appreciated by others:

1.I'm direct and say what I mean and mean what I say.

2. I'm dependable, though not always punctual.

3. I'm not impressed by social status or celebrity.

4. I'm good at problem-solving.

5. I generally accept people for who they are, without prejudice.

^ Yeah, sometimes you have to experiment a bit with different people to find people who will appreciate you.

Many autistic people have the "No BS. No lies. Just getting the job done"-attitude. I find that very appealing.